"Best interest of the children"

[sillystring]

GL today, let us know what happens!

[tgastte]

GL today, let us know what happens!

****11-20-09**** UPDATE!!!

So we both went to the mediation this morning and she requested separate meeting and she went ahead first...first of all the mediator was great!!!my stbx spent 30 mins in the room with the mediator and then it was my turn... i went in there with just facts and reality in my mind..I told the mediator that i had the kids for 4 yrs straight, took care of them without any problems, i also told the mediator about her not visiting since the last OSC order that she only saw the kids 3 times for about 5 hours each time..i also told the mediator that i will give here visitation every other sunday from noon till 6pm but supervised, no overnights coz she's living with her boyfriend and their infant child in a studio with other people..with all the facts the mediator made n wrote the recomendation report for the court..the mediator told me that there is no way that my ex will get custody of the kids since i had them for the last 4yrs straight n took care of them, i saw the report from my ex the mediator only had her side of the story on a half sheet of paper compared to mine i had 3 pages long in the end the mediator told me there is nothing to worry about coz this is our last mediation before the trial and base on the his reports and reviews that i will get FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY!!!..mediation ended walked out of the court with a big smile on my face...and then my plan for the trial is i will ask the judge to base the child support on the custody or parenting time...coz right now im getting screwed with $854.00 a month and she doent even see or take care of our kids....thank you for all the advice, comments and suggestions..GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!! and keep all the BLESSINGS and advice, comments and suggestions coming coz this site really helps a lot!!! THANK YOU AGAIN AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

[asof2005]

Awesome!  Another victory for the father's side!  I hope everything continues to go in the children's favor!

[tgastte]

Awesome!  Another victory for the father's side!  I hope everything continues to go in the children's favor!

thanks!!!! hopefully it will be a win all the way through!!!

[tgastte]

I got one more question to everyone here....Does the judge always or usually follows the MEDIATORS recommendation??? coz this was our third one the first one we had 50-50 for her to spend some time with the kids BUT that order kicked in MAY-09 till now she only saw the kids 4 times, the second mediation the recommendation was father will have FULL PHYSICAL CUSTODY but when we faced the judge she disaggreed to it, so now we had to go to TRIAL on DEC 11th but before that the judge ordered a FINAL MEDIATION, so this time the MEDIATOR gave me FULL CUSTODY...what i wanna know if the JUDGE always follows the MEDIATORS report or recommendation?? pls help!!! thank you for all you inputs and comments..GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!!

[tgastte]

****2nd UPDATE 12-03-09****


I just recieved the MEDIATORS REPORT/RECOMMENDATION..the last time we went to mediation they recommend that "FATHER WILL HAVE SOLE CUSTODY" but when we went in front of the judge the mom object to that report so now we had to go to trial but before that the judge ordered us to go into final mediation, so now here is the report; they changed the wording into "FATHER WILL HAVE PRIMARY RESIDENCE OF THE CHILDREN" with step-up plan for the mother..so my QUESTION is; whats the difference between SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY and PRIMARY RESIDENCE OF THE CHILDREN..the step up plab for her is on sunday 10am-7pm for a month and then every other weekend if she follows the step up plan..can sombody halp me with this before my custody trial on dec 11th..PLS HELP..and GOD BLESS!!!

[gemini3]

Semantics, really.  The difference is in how it sounds - like the difference between "parenting time" and "visitation". 

It sounds like the mediator could tell that BM was having a hard time with the idea, so he changed the language to make it sound a little better for her, but without actually changing anything.

[tgastte]

Semantics, really.  The difference is in how it sounds - like the difference between "parenting time" and "visitation". 

It sounds like the mediator could tell that BM was having a hard time with the idea, so he changed the language to make it sound a little better for her, but without actually changing anything.

Oh ok..was worried coz i dont wanna loose the full custody of my kids since they're already stable and established with me..like school, friends,sports activities and the neigborhood for the last 4 years...thank you and GOD BLESS!!! keep the comments n suggestions coming..

[MrCustodyCoach]

Semantics, really.  The difference is in how it sounds - like the difference between "parenting time" and "visitation". 

It sounds like the mediator could tell that BM was having a hard time with the idea, so he changed the language to make it sound a little better for her, but without actually changing anything.

There is a significant difference between sole custody and primary residential parent.  It gives the OP less control over the situation.  It very likely means that mom will get more parenting time up-front, probably unsupervised, and the step-up plan means that there will be provisions to increase her parenting time as time goes on.

Sole custody is just that, one person has all the custody and perhaps there are provisions for very limited "visitation" to the other parent.

As an aside, it has been my experience that in probably more than 50% of the times, mediators, parenting coordinators, and custody evaluators will tell you one thing in sessions, and then blindside you with something different when the final report comes in.  It's not as uncommon as one might think.

[tgastte]

Semantics, really.  The difference is in how it sounds - like the difference between "parenting time" and "visitation". 

It sounds like the mediator could tell that BM was having a hard time with the idea, so he changed the language to make it sound a little better for her, but without actually changing anything.

There is a significant difference between sole custody and primary residential parent.  It gives the OP less control over the situation.  It very likely means that mom will get more parenting time up-front, probably unsupervised, and the step-up plan means that there will be provisions to increase her parenting time as time goes on.

Sole custody is just that, one person has all the custody and perhaps there are provisions for very limited "visitation" to the other parent.

As an aside, it has been my experience that in probably more than 50% of the times, mediators, parenting coordinators, and custody evaluators will tell you one thing in sessions, and then blindside you with something different when the final report comes in.  It's not as uncommon as one might think.

so what suggestion do you have when i go to trial next friday?? just push for sole physical custody? or just stay with primary residential of the children?? PLS HELP!!!!