Ex gf will not let me have unsupervised visits with my son

[DDS]

My situation...
My ex and I have NEVER lived together. She always refused to move in with me. My son is only four months old. I have tried being with her but she is the most miserable person I know. I told her last night I want to take my son overnight back to my place (we just recently broke up) and she told me you can't take him because I can't be without him. Lawyer up is what she told me (which I plan to do). Is there anything legally that I can do in the meantime to get my son to be allowed to come with me? I won't be that dad who just says F you I'm taking him, but I feel like I'm being taken advantage of...
Thanks

[ocean]

File in court for joint custody and visitation (you may have to prove paternity, did you sign a paper in the hospital? not the birth certificate but the paternity paper?)
You can file in family court yourself...read this site...lots to learn about the system and how you can improve your odds.
Once you have an order then she cant tell you when you can have child. The faster you file, the quicker you will get to see him.

[DDS]

Thanks, I'm looking but do you have alink to show where I can file in family court?

[janM]

You will file at the courthouse in the county mom lives in. They may have forms online, but you'll have to physically file the papers.

At this point mom is the only one with rights to the child. Once you have yours established, she'll have to abide by the court orders. There may be standard parenting times for her county which may limit your time with a newborn (short, frequent visits are best), but it will increase in time.

[MixedBag]

actually you can mail them to the courthouse too......but if you're any where CLOSE, I'd go file them personally.

And until the court says "unsupervised" -- let Mom tag along.....and in court tell the stories about just how well (or not) the time has been going until now with her tagging along....

[DDS]

You will file at the courthouse in the county mom lives in. They may have forms online, but you'll have to physically file the papers.

At this point mom is the only one with rights to the child. Once you have yours established, she'll have to abide by the court orders. There may be standard parenting times for her county which may limit your time with a newborn (short, frequent visits are best), but it will increase in time.

Are you saying from a legal standpoint only she has rights right now?

[ocean]

Yes..until you get the court to recognize you as the father. You should ask for equal rights which is Joint custody....

[DDS]

She is now changing our plans for xmas. She was supposed to bring him down on friday. She called today and says she no longer feels safe with me because of my past DV arrests (i was arrested in 2002 for fighting back against my ex's bf that she had been cheating on me with. it was expunged.)
I'm keeping a journal on what she does and said, but it was clear today by her emails that she is going into straight lawyer mode and is attempting to get me to make a mistake which will give her FULL custody. She is emailing me saying that I have been unstable and she fears for our sons safety because i am off my meds. (let me clarify, i have never threatened her, struck her and rarely raised my voice). tomorrow I'm getting the paternity paperwork and trying to file my paperwork in court tomorrow if possible.

[DDS]

Do the following things help my case at all?
1) the mother is a slob. Last time I visited, there was garbage and dirty diapers all over the place. I took pictures.
2) the mother has not worked in 15 months. She lives with her family who also do not work. Her father has not brought in a paycheck in 8 years. Her mother is on disability.
3) the house she is keeping him in is in disrepair. There are holes in teh wall, wires hanging from light fixtures, floor is never swept and there are building materials all over the floor just outside the room he lives in.

[MomofTwo]

1)  No
2)  No
3)  No

None of that affects custody.  What matters is who is the child's primary care giver? Who has been taking care of and providing for the child?  Until paternity is proven and the courts give you access rights, she has full custody and can make determinations regarding the child.  Are you off meds you should be on?

Courts are closed tomorrow, it's Christmas.