Moving for better opportunities

[bloom6372]

If you don't think he'll agree, take it through the Courts. Personally, any agreement you all can come to (if you can come to one) should be signed, notarized, and through the Courts anyway. But, if you need to take it to Court, ask for home evaluations. You may have to pay for it, though, so be prepared for that. You can ask for supervised visitation for your son, but you'll need to PROVE abuse/neglect.

Is the job you're referring to a potential job, or is it a definite thing? Also, while the house is stable, the fact is that it isn't a "guarantee" because in the Court's eyes, there's no guarantee of the relationship lasting, which could lead to uprooting your son again. So, they may not even consider that aspect of the move. The job, they would probably consider, since it could lead to a better life for your son.

[gemini3]

the problem though is that it IS kidnapping in kansas unless you have written permission from the other parent to leave the state with the child, which he did not have from me.

So, not getting into the who did what to who and who is a better parent issue, your question is do you have to give the father 30-days written notice of your intent to move.  The answer is yes, you do.  If you do not, and the father objects to the move, then you could be found guilty of kidnapping and he could get custody and you could end up with supervised visitation.  So, while it may seem "easier" to skirt the law and just take off with the child, you may find yourself and the child in a worse situation than you have now.

So your best bet is to do it the right way the first time.  Establish a parenting plan, and get his agreement (or the courts) agreement on the move.

[msfabulous89]

thank you gemini, that was all i wanted.

bloom, the job is a definite, i already have a note from the manager stating that the job is mine to present if it has to go to court. i keep asking the father for his address, as he refuses to give it to me, so according to state law from what i've researched, i have to send the letter to the last known address, if i get no response in 30 days, i'm clear to move, correct? i've even recorded proof that he refuses to give me his address.

i would LOVE to come to an agreement with the father, but the truth is, he wont. he's 23 with the maturity of a 12 year old. no, i'm not trying to bash him, i'm being honest. i've got records and records of neglect and emotional abuse as well as the DR. records and the SRS/CPS records of EVERYTHING. i'm not scared of taking him to court by any means, i'm just wanting to get out to make a better life for my son.

i want the father to be around. i grew up without my father and it was horrible, but i don't want him to go through what he's going through now for the rest of his life. if his father could show me he can be a man and take care of his responsibility, i would have NO issue sending my son back to see him every summer and for holidays and what not.

[bloom6372]

I'd also, just to be safe, put something in the LEGAL section of the classifieds, and keep a copy to show that you tried to reach him in any way you can. Some states require this. I'd call the Court clerk in your area and see what they say about trying to serve someone.

[msfabulous89]

legal section of the classifieds? as in the newspaper?

[ocean]

Yes, when you can prove you tried all other ways, they judge will have you put it into the newspaper so he will have service.
BUT
IF you have his cell phone, email , and can text him.... send to the last known address, and hand deliver on next exchange or have someone deliver at his work....

If you have contact with him, just tell him over the phone and start the process. Text/email him that
Ex, I would like to discuss XX and my moving to xx town in XX month. Please send me an address so you can review the papers. (parents address, sister? brother? at least you know they will open it and give it to him....).

[msfabulous89]

NONE of his family will speak to me and he will not have ANY contact with me what so ever. i've tried regular email, facebook, i don't know his number so i can't text him, i've tried everything and none of his family will speak to me to give me their address either so that i can send it there. i can send it to sonic where he works, but that would risk getting him fired and i don't want that to happen.

if i have to put in the newspaper i will, however, i know he doesn't read the newspaper, so it would be a waste of time/space and money for the space in the newspaper. i'm contacting the court house tomorrow, i was unable to get through to someone today for some reason.

[Kitty C.]

Why would he get fired for receiving mail at work?  It's not like they can open it and see what's inside..........

[bloom6372]

Have you tried looking the addresses up online, for him or his family?

[msfabulous89]

the company policy for sonic is that personal mail does NOT go there, or it's automatic termination.

and i have tried looking address's up online and nothing is listed that i could find.