Heart breaking for DH & SD

[Mom1Step2]

DH had mediation today. BM stated that YSD is not his & wants paternity test. Apparently YSD has been talking on the phone with her "Real" dad on BM's weekends.

DH is so distraught. His heart is breaking. It angers me so much that she is putting YSD through this even before it is offical. Poor girl is going to be so messed up no matter what the outcome.

[tigger]

How old is she?  What are the ages of the other children involved?

[Mom1Step2]

YSD is 11, OSD is 14.

They live with us during school & her for holidays & summer. It has been this way for 6 years.

[tigger]

Even if it's proven that she's not his biologically, he's still the dad by virtue of bonding and years invested.  Not sure but he may be able to stop the DNA testing if it states in their divorce papers "two children were born of this marriage, OSD, born XX/XX/XX and YSD, XX/XX/XX".  If she signed it, she acknowledged that they were both his kids.  She should have said something then if she were going to do it.  That's just my opinion though.  Not sure how that stands legally.

[ocean]

Did he take test yet? You can do your own so at least  you know what the outcome will be. Does DH know this other man? Should be interesting how this plays out since he has primary custody. My guess is if she is this other man's that they will start short visits and move upwards. Can you start daughter in counseling, either way she is going to need someone to help her through this. A neutral party would be good so she is not hearing it from you or her mom. Go and interview some and find one that meets your families needs.

[Mom1Step2]

No, there hasnt been a test yet. We thought about doing just a home blood test because DH & BM are both O, so if SD was anything else it would be apparent.

She has been in counseling in the past & I brought it up to DH that she should probably start going back. She seems to be unaffected by this news so far, but she is told not to tell us anything, so it just may be second nature.

[tigger]

No, there hasnt been a test yet. We thought about doing just a home blood test because DH & BM are both O, so if SD was anything else it would be apparent.

You don't already know her blood type?  That should be in her medical records somewhere.  I knew my kids' blood types before we left the hospital.

[Mom1Step2]

Blood type - Not that I can find anywhere. It is not in the birth certificate & we have never had a reason to have it tested.

[tigger]

Maybe it's because I grew up in and around the hospital.  I can't imagine not knowing my child's blood type in an emergency.  Type O is the universal donor (anyone can accept it in an emergency) but a type O person can only receive Type O blood. 

Are you sure of BM's blood type?

[Mom1Step2]

DH is sure of both of their blood types (O-)

DH has decided not to try & find anything out, just wait to see if she gets a paternity test ordered.

Still upsetting that BM is having SD talk to this guy on the phone.... "Here's your new daddy honey!"