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Change visitation by childs wishes

Started by Belle, Jan 06, 2004, 04:30:34 AM

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I am so thankful that I have never even had to consider the idea of putting one of my precious children on an airplane w/o a trusted adult. I know that many, many parents have to do it because they have no choice, and I know that it would be very scary for me.

DH has been facing the possibility of this for a while, because his ex keeps talking about moving to AK. Know that we know she can't move the kids up there, she would have to leave them here if she went. DH believes that if she moves up there, it will be up to her to come back here to see the kids. He says the only way the can go there to visit is if she comes to get them so they don't have to fly alone. I know that is not his decision alone, but he won't even consider the idea. Hopefully he won't be put in that position, because I know he would FREAK. He gets so upset hearing stories on the news like the one about that boy not making it home when he was supposed to, or girls being sexually assaulted by strangers sitting next to him, and he is only concerned about the safety of his kids.

I know if parents always flew with their children for the visits, most of the time that would mean buying two extra round trip tickets. One to get the child there, and one to get the child back. That is an expense most parents can't afford. I would love to visit AK, but by the time I can afford to fly my whole family there, my skids will probably be old enough to fly alone.

Kitty, I'm really glad that you have never had any major problems sending your child on a plane, and I didn't want to offend anyone, because I know that people just do what they have to do. I guess I just wanted to say that I can understand a parent being afraid to do it. I think it also depends on the kids age, and personality, if they could handle it or not. By the way, when I saw this story on the news, the mother was a lot more shaken up about the whole thing than the child was.


If she moves you generally have to pay for half the travel expences, she seeks modification.  I have my child fly alone no problems you pay the extra fee to the airline and I always tip the person caring for my child. It is important for my child to see her entire family and not be punished for distance our jobs require. It is expensive but not our choice in relocating (armed services).  I feel it is a personal decision and I respect cp decision, not thrilled about it but that is where they designed extended parent times and now that is being abused, its hard knowing what is real concerns and what is just lingering anger from the relationship so many years ago.


DS and I lived in VA and his father was in Canada - while he was older when he flew between the two locations (13 - 18), he flew alone and he was just fine.  This was before the airlines required an adult fly with even younger ones.

I will admit that when he missed a flight in Atlanta coming home to me, my heart was racing ... by the time they located him, he had already talked to the airlines and was scheduled on the  the next flight.  LOL - he was 14, fell asleep while waiting for his flight (2 hour layover) and never heard the PA announcement for the gate change - grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Kitty C.

I can guarantee you that that child was WELL protected, but as for the stories about girls being molested is just that...stories.  The airlines are required to put the kids near the front, preferably in the front row, so that they are as close to the flight attendants station as possible.  They never let them out of their sight, except for the bathroom.

A LOT of when a child should be allowed to fly alone should depend on the child's maturity.  You have to pay an additional fee for UAM's, now up to about $120, on top of the cost of the ticket.  And up until they are 8, they must fly direct/non-stop.  DS's dad and I went one more year, since DS is ADHD.  It gave us some added security, knowing that the person how took DS from me was the SAME person who handed him over to his dad.  That form that accompanies any child MUST be filled out with signatures of EVERY person in charge of the child's care.

I know how scary it can be, and I've had many people ask me how I did that every summer and EO Christmas.  I think my love of flying had a LOT to do with alleviating my fears.  But I'd be an idiot if I didn't say I cried every time he left!  Since he was gone ALL summer long, it was more because of the time we'd be apart than worry about his safety.

But I also think it has done a LOT to build DS's self-confidence, too.  He's an old pro at flying now, and his trip this summer to see his SM and half sister will be free because of his accumulation of frequent flyer miles!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......