DAD DID NOT WANT KIDS FOR M-JULY!

[sabor06]

Huh?

He did not want kids for the whole month and on his weekend 30 thru 3rd of July he did not pick up.
I did sherriff report but What do I do now? Any Ideas?

Sherriff said I cannot obligate to take kids. Even though I have a court order.

I gave Nanny VAKA W/O pay. And I did not buy any food for my home since no kids and only my mom & me at home.

Now? What? I have NO money -481 in bank and 1/2 tank of gas in car.

WHY is it he can do this to me? With no help from enforcement.

Don't get me wrong I am happy I have my kids I was just not prepared for expense,

Nanny will work for free I get paid on the 13th, and neighbor gave me some food to hold  us over until 13th . Mom gave me gas money for work. Huh?

All the comments from earlier seem pointless since DAD did not even show up to house to pick up kids... called 10 min before 6pm and said had not made arrangements for daycare and I was not gonna stick him with the kids. Huh?

What now TEAM?

[ocean]

If Dad did not come or does not want them there is really nothing you can do...Does he have to pay for half of daycare? You could maybe go after him for the nanny fee for the week. Now you know, to be prepared for his weekends to have alternate arrangements....He is not taking them at all this month???

[Genie]

this way you won't be in this situation again.  You let nanny know this is his time and you will let know that night if he took them or not and if she will work during that time or not.  You always make sure you have enough food to tide you over etc etc.

I know it is hard but not all BF are good Dads like many of the ones on these boards are.  If they were then all divorces would be a Team.

So never assume and always act like it won't happen until it actually does.

I am glad you were able to make it work and that you have such good and understanding people around.

One thing though - would it be cheaper for you to find a person who can provide care for the children in her house while you work than have a Nanny do it. It my understanding they are expensive.  Or are your work hours such that you can't do a regular day care place?

[sabor06]

No my hour vary I only pay her 100.00 a week and daycare is more expensive for two kids.

[sabor06]

Why 1/2 of Nanny fee, shouldn't it be 100%?

Sherriff said if he picks up anytime during month then I can call them when he drops off and state he is child abandonment. True? Has this happened to you all before?

[Cookiemomma4]

>Sherriff said if he picks up anytime during month then I can
>call them when he drops off and state he is child abandonment.
>True? Has this happened to you all before?

Why the heck would you want to do this?  Please remember that your children will not stay young forever.  They will grow older and hear tales of what you and their father has done.  They will also remember some of it.  When that happens do you want to look be the bad guy?
While this whole situation may be inconvinient for you, get over it.  Take the energy away from what he is or isn't doing and concentrate it on your children!  There are parents would would give their lives to be in your situation!  If you want to "do something" to him, then take him to small claims court for the cost of childcare during this time...or family court for contempt...don't make a move that could forever change the nature of his relationship with his children.

[sabor06]

I am not saying I would do that, I am saying WHAT would it help my kids or me (in court) to do that, had you ever had that happen? I know what my kids want... my daughter said "I had prayed to GOD for us not to go to dad's for the whole month" then she smiled.  I know where my kids want to be with me. I am just saying IF I make the report HOW can it help me in Court?

I would not MAKE them go with dad by force just make the report and keep it for when I went back to court, and request daycare and expenses reimbursement.

It is not inconvienent as you say, I am TIRED of HIM not being the RESPONSIBLE parent he should be and the courts allowing him this behavior, when ultimately it is my kids who are hurt and feel unwanted. They had their bags packed and were all geared up to go (I kept a positive send-off atmosphere for them) then he BOOM doesn't show! ARGGHHH!

On another note: I have an audit due by the 19th of July I was going to be working late, really I HAVE to work late, which I hardly do when kids are with me I mean Late by 9:30 pm to 10:00 pm, usually I work until 6 or 7 latest. Now due to this really wont matter, kids will not see me or him.

Will I upkeep his everyother weekend? NO! I had plans with my kids since I was getting them 2 consecutive weekends.  On the 15th & 16th I got free tickets to seaworld thru work, and I had won a 3 day 2 night SPI condo at a conference last year that I booked for the 22nd & 23rd with free Schiltterbahn tickets from work. Now these plans are set in I will not change them for him.

[ocean]

Many divorce agreements have a split of daycare costs. He should be paying part of daycare costs all year. This gets added to the child support. You could go back for a child support modification on the daycare costs and state he has not picked them up and your daycare costs have increased. I agree with the other posters, enjoy your kids even if they are with a nanny. Take the father to court over the money (if it is a big enough issue for you). Good luck!

[Cookiemomma4]

The "report" isn't just a report...you said they told you that you could file child abandenment charges...that has real ramifications.  How can it help you?  Well, he can get some of his right severed if he is found guilty of it.  I suppose that could help you in court if your goal is to try to push him out of their life.  How can it help your kids?  IMO, it can't.  They are going through enough without this added stressor thrown into the relationship with their father.  In the end you will look like the bad guy if you take this action.  They will see what their father is like on their own...and you should be encouraging their relationship with him.

It is frustrating when the other parent is "not being the responsible parent."   I know this because both of my ex's are "not responsible parents."  The bottom line is that we chose to have children with irresponsible parents and you need to find a way to cope so that your actions will not have such a negative effect on your children.  I cope with this by having a backup plan at all times.  They don't want to show, that is ok, more time for me!  They don't pack their own things until their fathers are standing in the doorways or on the phone telling me that they are on their way.  For longer trips I have done some packing for them as I have done the laundry and things.

You are really stressing the inconviniences for you in this matter when you could/should be working on things to make this situation easier on your children.  As I said earlier, take him to court for contempt.  Go after the childcare reimbursment.  Don't change the plans that you already have made in accordance with your court order.  Move on and make a plan for the future...reevaluate your handling of the situation.  You can't change him, you can only change how you interact with him.

[Cookiemomma4]

The "report" isn't just a report...you said they told you that you could file child abandenment charges...that has real ramifications.  How can it help you?  Well, he can get some of his right severed if he is found guilty of it.  I suppose that could help you in court if your goal is to try to push him out of their life.  How can it help your kids?  IMO, it can't.  They are going through enough without this added stressor thrown into the relationship with their father.  In the end you will look like the bad guy if you take this action.  They will see what their father is like on their own...and you should be encouraging their relationship with him.

It is frustrating when the other parent is "not being the responsible parent."   I know this because both of my ex's are "not responsible parents."  The bottom line is that we chose to have children with irresponsible parents and you need to find a way to cope so that your actions will not have such a negative effect on your children.  I cope with this by having a backup plan at all times.  They don't want to show, that is ok, more time for me!  They don't pack their own things until their fathers are standing in the doorways or on the phone telling me that they are on their way.  For longer trips I have done some packing for them as I have done the laundry and things.

You are really stressing the inconviniences for you in this matter when you could/should be working on things to make this situation easier on your children.  As I said earlier, take him to court for contempt.  Go after the childcare reimbursment.  Don't change the plans that you already have made in accordance with your court order.  Move on and make a plan for the future...reevaluate your handling of the situation.  You can't change him, you can only change how you interact with him.