New member; advice please. X in blatant contempt.

[overcomer33]

My legal battle has been ongoing for four years. My last court date was this month in which case the circuit judge said he'd think about the decision. That was dec 12, still no decision. I feel the judge is partial to my X and her wealthy family. My X told the judge, "if you want then go ahead and hold me in contempt." I couldnt believe my ears.
She has broken all but just a few of the orders in the original divorce decree, recently moving my child over 100 miles away and not notifying me until three weeks later by letter. She ordered me supervised visitation over 18mo ago, my former attorney whom i have a open case with the Prof Conduct Committee, signed this order and I didnt even know about it until my x told me and mailed me a copy.
This all stems from my new wife of two years who has a felony, she served 9 months in a state rehab and since her release shes working, staying sober and paying her fines. When my wife got out of rehab my x suspended all visitation on her own accord. I have only seen my five yr old child four hours in 8months, in a park with her and her newly wed husband peering over my shoulder, so belittling.
I'm flat broke after this last case. Prior to the hearing and with my attorney still on record, i personally drew up and filed request for admissions, production of documents, and interogatories of which she failed to answer nor the motion to compel that i also filed. The judge ignored this. My atty says the judge has 120 days to make a decision on our last case. My questions are: where can i find good legal books and perhaps free legal custody help.
This is a circuit judge of Arkansas. Can i ask for another judge if he doesnt abolish this absurd supervised order ive been given.  My x requested that i only get six hours supervised visits per month. I have no criminal background, in fact i work for the state as a correctional officer, watching over murderers and rapists, carrying out the mandates of the court. Why did my motions not recognized, can i refile the motion to compel? I want to depose her but im finding it very difficult to interpret the law and correctly depose. My x eavesdroppes all our calls and my child doesnt even want to talk to me. She calls my x new husband daddy and me by my first name. This has obsessed me, this injustice. How can someone be so wrong and be rewarded for it. I had to turn off my internet so im using a library, please give me a few days to reply. Your help is appreciated.

[williaer]

With your new wife having a felony conviction- you can bet your ex has plenty of pull with the judge. She is going to use the best interest of the child to get whatever arrangement she wants. I know your wife has paid her debt to society and it sounds like she is doing better- but your ex doesn't know that. Sometimes we have to put ourselves in the other persons shoes- how would you feel?
Now- on the flip side- you do have the right to have a relationship and you do have the right to be a part of your childs life- so I would start by agreeing to whatever time she will "give" and taking all of it- plus anything else you can get out of her. After a few months of that- file for more time and then more time, eventually you will have weekends and holiday's etc. It's all a process that you have to go through- especially if she has the upper hand (sounds like she does).
Best wishes- you have an uphill battle from here.

[mistoffolees]

Something doesn't sound right. If you visit your child when your wife isn't around, there's no reason why your visitation should be supervised - unless there's something missing from the story.

To answer your question about the judge, you'd have to ask an attorney or Socrateaser. There ARE processes to have biased judges removed, but I would imagine that it's a hard thing to do. Soc can teall you your chances.

[overcomer33]

I'm sorry I can't address you correctly, the format of this forum is new and I can't find your user name. Notwithstanding, a Temp Order was passed, as I said, 18mo ago by my former counsel. I was unaware of this order, nor did I sign it. The order briefly said, "I" should be supervised by my parents. Astonished, I adhered to the order for 18mo trying to get a court date. Three continuances followed until 6mo ago she suspended all visitation without a court order to do so. I wish I could just sit back and take whatever she will offer me. So far it's been nothing but a few hours in a park with my parents and her and her husband. I refuse to go anymore to those "playdates" as she so pieously calls them. These offers are no more than provaction for me to refuse. It's the point of the matter, I will not be manipulated. I must fight, and I will have her in court every three months until I see justice. I have done nothing wrong. Yes, I married someone with a problem and yes, I can see her concern. I did not deny these concerns in the courtroom, nor did my wife nor did my atty. Her concerns are fears to my X and unsubstantiated fears. I have three thousand hours of unsupervised parenting time with my child and not one allegation of harm has ever been brought up against me.  My child is MY responsibility not my wifes. My child will never be left alone with my wife nor is there any reason that she should be.  Anyways, thanks for your input and yes, it's a uphill battle it's been so for four years.

[overcomer33]

Mistoffolees, thanks for your input.
  Theres alot that hasn't sounded right and my attys and friends are perplexed as to how this woman can do what she does. There is no reason why i should be supervised.  The kicker here is that my wife had a prescription pill problem, she has 13 counts of felonies. I married her during this time. My poor judgement states the court. I love my wife and I have never left my child alone with her. She has never walked around threatning to hurt anyone or waving a gun and driving high. Like I told the above poster. My child is my responsibility, I have never placed my child in any danger, or threating situations and never will. I will always protect my child with all thats within me as with most parents. I have no charges of any sort against me. For me to get six hours a month supervised is a abomination to me.  I married my wife thru an affair and this is 90% jealousy and hate on my Xs part. She has a legitimate concern and yes, we agree to those concerns and agree to never leave my wife alone with my child. Unsubstantiated fears are only a small part of her reasons, hate and jealousy dictates her decisions. She know she is hurting me by taking my child. This Socrateaser, where can i find him/her it? blueskies

[mistoffolees]

http://deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106

[Amy_in_MA]

Are these "playdates" the only opportunity you have to see your child at this time?" If so, I would strongly urge you to file for a court date, swallow your pride and continue to see your child whenever you can. As much as it stinks, time with your child is the priority...not pride about your ex's manipulation of you. Seek counsel, get a court date ASAP, and continue to spend whatever time you have with your child, regardless of how much of a "point" you are trying to make about not being allowed to be manipulated. How old is the child again? Think about how this child feels about your "refusals" to spend whatever time you can with him/her. Focus on that rather than your ex's actions, until you can have your day in court.

--------------------

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

[notnew]

See your child every time you possibly can.

You must file paperwork with the court advising them your lawyer has been fired, you've filed a complaint and ask that his name be striken as your counsel before any of your filings will be deemed appropriate. Your x has not answered your filings because she doesn't have to.  You also have to notify the court you are proceeding Pro Se.

Please go to the Dear Socrateaser forum, read and follow the guidelines. He will be able to give you excellent advice on how to proceed.

You need to get a motion filed to increase your visitation asap. In the meantime, adhere to the supervised visitation no matter how much you disagree.

Do not talk to the child about this. Do not talk to her about the crap her mother is pulling in regards to calling the step-father daddy and you by your first name.

Get to Socrateaser so you can proceed properly.

good luck.

[overcomer33]

Amy,

  Unfortunately I cannot file again until the judge has made a decision on my last hearing, dec 12, 06. My atty said he has 120 days to make this decision. I've searched the entire AR Civ codes and cannot find one code that applies to a time limit on a judges decision. This makes me so freakin mad. My atty says I'll win, it's not a hard case my atty says. However he's perplexed at the delay thus far in his decision. If I do not get what I deserve: all my parenting time she has contemptibly taken from me then I will file as soon as allowed, 90 days, pro se.
I will depose her pro se, and I will refile my motion to compel for the interrogatories, request for admissions and production of documents. I'm not sure if i can appeal the judges decision if i don't win?? The only way i can get another judge is to ask this judge to transfer it to another circuit or chancellory court in his precent or my ex's or my county. This i doubt he'll do and if he does then the plaintiff has to agree. There has to be a way to appeal his decision. I dont understand no way to appeal or request another judge. Anyways ill go to socrotease. Everyone thanks for your input. I will swallow my pride as you suggest. As one of the other posted, "put myself in my exs shoes". I have and my ex has, and I told the judge many times during the hearing that we dont object to not leaving my wife alone with my child. But when my child is in MY care why should I be supervised? I'm a rresponsible adult with no felonies, no offenses. A officer for the state. I'm drug tested almost on a monthly basis by the state and I dont even drink.

[gurl2craze]

You said you have an attorny?  Why arn't they helping you?  You are right this is crazy!

Just in case i miss read that and you dont have an attorny, try to find someone who truely cares.

When i left my husband he threatened to come take the kids from me, i was soooo scared, and i didnt have money for an attorny.  i called every lawyer in the phone book, starting at A, I asked them if they did family law and gave them all my info and my story (it is best if you can talk to the lawyer directly, some will answer the phone themselves) then after that i asked if they did pro-bono work, most told me no.  but i finaly found a lawyer with a heart she couldnt do pro-bono, but she gave me tons of free advice over the phone and then when i had no choice but to hire her to come to court with me she gave me a seriously reduced retainer fee!  so far she has been great!

we live in NH so i dont know if this helps for you or not, but keep your chin up and keep fighting, they cant hold you down forever!