Question about transportation...

[gemini3]

Does anyone here know if transportation is considered a shared obligation in the state of VA?

My husband's ex has started insisting that he pick-up and drop off the children for visitation periods.  She's saying that they will get home too late if she picks them up from our house (830P), and she can't drop them off because she doesn't get home from school in time.  There is nothing specified in the order, and I can't find anything about it online.

Thank you.

Heidi

[MixedBag]

I'm not in or have had detailed dealings in VA.

[treici]

and we share transportation costs....either meeting halfaway or splitting airline tickets (he flies one way I fly the other--DS is 8 and we each purchase a one way ticket for him and then we also buy a round trip for ourselves to escort since he is also special needs).

Our order was pretty vague....it does say that we will share costs, but does not break down the way in which we do so.  It has been easier to each pay for our share of travel expenses and whoever happens to find the best deal is the lucky one!

[Kitty C.]

Short of something state specific, the best I can tell you is advice I've heard on this site in the past:  'He who wants, fetches.'  Meaning if you want your time with your kids, you go get them, and if she wants them back, she'll find a way to get them back.  And the transportation costs are evenly split in the process.

[gemini3]

That's kind of what we were thinking... My husband was going to send her an e-mail saying that starting on such and such date, he expects her to start picking the children up from his house after the visiation period, and then let her do it if she wants to get the kids back.

[SCMom]

Most of the folks that I know in VA share transport for visits. A friend of mine lived in another state when going through her VA divorce and she provides half transport for the twice a month visits with the dad who still resides in VA. So it seems typical unless you reach an agreement that states otherwise.

I moved away from VA before we filed (long story). But, we just completed our custody agreement and I had it written into that the ex provides all transportation to and from visits.

I was in NoVA and that is where my divorce is going forward.

[dipper]

I dont know of any certain standards in Virginia.  Seems as if its up to the judge.  My ex is ordered to provide transportation for our children.

When my dh was NCP and bm moved away, it was ordered that she provide 2 out of 3 weekends.  If her weekends, she had to have ss here by 6:00 on friday and could pick him up 6:00 on Sunday.  On dh's weekend, he could pick him up at 4:00 on Friday and have him home by 8:00 on Sunday.  

I think typically a judge will look at how late the children are getting home on a school  night.  You dont say how far away she actually lives.  

[catherine]

Do you think a 7 hr one way trip is too far for EOW?  The kids would be travelling for a minimum of 14 hours in one weekend.



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"In the final analysis, true justice is not a matter of courts and law books, but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect." - Jimmy Carter

[mistoffolees]

That's going to depend a lot on the kids.

However, it's probably stretching things even if the kids are good travelers. I'd probably try to exchange one weekend a month for extra holiday or summer time if it were me.

OTOH, if finances allow, you could spend some of the weekends in their town. The cost of lodging might not be any greater than the cost of the extra round trip.

[gemini3]

She only lives 20-30 minutes away, depending on traffic.  The latest that they would get home would be 830P, and their bedtime is 9P.  

I think it's reasonable to ask her to share the transportation, but so far she has refused to do so.  I tried just telling her she would have to pick them up but she just flooded my e-mail saying she was "officially" letting me know that she would not be picking them up and that I needed to drop them off, etc.  I've just been doing both.  Maybe the counselor can sort it out.