Poll, sort of....

[Peanutsdad]

LOL, Richie,, I really dont WANNA look like a saint,, its much too much bother.

All I ever wanted,, was to raise my kids to be happy, well adjusted, responsible people.


I never wanted my ex to look like a moron,( besides ,,its much too easy for her to look that way), all I wanted,, was for her to get the help she needs, and be able to work together where our daughter is concerned.


Unfortunately, I have learned by bitter experience with her,, let up for a moment, she'll strike like a dang rattlesnake. Only, the rattler is typically more polite about it,, they warn ya first.

[dumbo]

 I went from NCP to CP, first 3 years I asked for nothing . Then I asked and she "took" the kid back. Went to mediation and without an atty I agreed to a minimial amount. It was something and I was greatful. Now,
kid is 16 and we are back in court. The expenses outweigh what I can provide my daughter with. I have two other children, and we make ends meet but there is no extra. dd's mom can help. She wants to help, she just dosn't want me to be the one decideing how to spend it.
I pay for everything anyway why shouldn't I decide?
Court marches on. Now kid has a Guardian Ad Litem.

[Dibella2]

Yes.  DH was just awarded sole legal and physical custody last month.  After almost two years in court.  However, the role is a bit different.  DH was the school-year parent before and pbfh was the summer parent.  Neither paid child support.  DH always said that he didn't want support from her, but he figured that if the roles were reversed and it was the woman who had custody that he would be ordered to pay child support.  And the costs for the children have gone up considerably since their divorce.  Well, this judge obviously felt the same way because he has ordered full guideline child support based on full time employment (she only works part time - not even.)  And she does not have the kids 9.5 months out of the year.  Yet she wanted DH to pay her attorney's fees (which was denied, by the way).  So, yes.  The NCP should be somewhat financially responsible for their child(ren).  If it's not money issues, they will no doubt find something else to come between them and/or complain about.

[AggieMom]

I totally agree with Kitty!  Men you have got to fight in order for things to be changed.   I was outraged when I first went onto the Texas Att. General homepage and read "Why does your baby need a father?" Why not, why does your baby need both parents?"  Let me quess --- no such thing as a dead beat MOTHER?

I was outraged because I am finding out through all of my research, dads follow the rules, typically care about what is in the child's best interest, and are more willing to work and be civil with the Ex's!  My DH's ex has done everything possible to out run child support. We filled for support from her in June of 03 and did not go to court until Feb 04, only to be shot down for CS because mom is receiving some kind of state aid that can not be garnished.  I was outraged.  Did the ATT. general care that my DH was working two jobs to support her crack habit (part of her conviction) and take care of his wife (yep -- me) and newborn ----hell no, you pay or go to jail!  With her, it's dismiss and screw you buddy!

We sent out several e-mails to the att. generals office getting our point across that if a MAN was avoiding to pay, they would do eveything in their power to get his income or slap his but in JAIL---her no way.  She is a convicted felon and she has a newly diagnosed mental disability (I hope she payed who diagnosed her that out the butt) to elude child support.  But now after the hearing, she can all the sudden get a job now that no one is looking!  By the time we would go back to court, she would quit and here we go again!      

Needless to say this subject chaps my butt to no end!  Women do it because they know that they can and 9 times out of 10 their CP counterparts will lie back and take it!  

PLEASE PLEASE do everything you can to make it known that these WOMEN need to pay.  They made this child with you---make them support this child with you regarless if you can do it on your own!! I am a WOMEN and I support men and their rights to be treated EQUAL even when it comes to parenting!  

Sorry for the Soap Box!  

~AggieMom~

[hisliltulip]

DH got custody of SS in January, she was to start paying child support Feb 1st.

Needless to say, she hasn't paid a cent.  And her's is set up at MINIMUM WAGE.  She doesn't think it should be at 40 hours a week since she doesn't like working full time...  WTF?  I have always worked full time and our son's are the same age.

Anyway, DH and I so far haven't cared.  Let her hang herself even more.  It just goes to show who the more responsible parent is.

SS is happier, THAT is what is important.

But, to bring myself down from the "holier than thou" pedestal.  It was very very tempting to get on the horn today to get her wages garnished when I found out that DH is getting laid off tomorrow.

I didn't though.  We'll survive, we always do.  God has a plan and I doubt it's for us to squeeze support out of her.  Besides, what DH requested wouldn't even cover SS groceries for the month!



:-)

[putkidsfirst]

The discrimination/double standard in our family courts is abhorrent and all involved should be ashamed of themselves.

That said, the FACTS of our case:

PB awarded sole custody in ('93) with no trial, no hearing, no psych. consult, nothing.  Judge's words:  "Because she needs the money."  At least DH's "temporary" 60% CS order was lowered to the standard.  Poor PB, unable to support her drink/drug habits and deadbeat boyfriend on $10-$12,000 per year, files and is awarded welfare and food stamps!  Welfare hassles DH for "non-support" and threatens further garnishment "to recoup back child support" that never existed, thank heaven his documentation reached someone who knew the law and put a stop to it.

PB and her BF destroy 2 kids emotionally, psychologically and socially.  Once they reach school age DH has teachers calling him constantly about their absenteeism, filthy condition, lack of cooperation, refusal to do any schoolwork, and HUGE behavior problems.  All the while PB collects CS, DH pays full medical, all school expenses, and gets extorted for $$ if he wants to visit them. "No money, no kids."

'98 - custody reversed, sole custody to DH.  Conditions found to be so bad that at first PB is allowed only 3-hour visits, she blows off the majority and is stoned and physically abusive to SS on the few occasions she does show, and a restraining order is necessary.  On CS, she states, "F*ck you you f*cking a**hole, what the f*ck to you f*cking expect, $1 a f*cking week?"  DH says that would be absolutely fine.

Lawyer refuses to file for CS.  He refuses to "kick her when she's down."  Two YEARS later after DH threatens to file a complaint against him for not doing what he was paid to do, lawyer half-heartedly sends a letter to PB, the gist of which is, "if it's not too much trouble, please send your bank statements if you want to."  A YEAR after that her "financial" information shows up, consisting of three bank statements and one tax return.  The funny thing is, these statements show that she has run $75,000 through her checking account in THREE MONTHS.  But she reported $1,200 income to the IRS and collected more tax than she had paid back.  She continues to bill DH's insurance for her medical as well as her daughter by BF's medical and when we contact insurance to make sure they're not paying fraudulent claims, she calls them posing as "the post office" and has our home address changed to hers!

Bottom line:  she put $30,000 through her checking account in December of '01 and didn't send her own children so much as a freaking Christmas card!  Not one birthday present, not one Christmas present, not one penny for anything, for six years now.

If it were him, he'd be on billboards and/or in the slammer.  Because it's HER, she's jetting to Vegas every year and collecting $$ from the IRS fraudulently and nobody gives a damn.  It makes me SICK.

Of course the important thing is we were able to save these kids' lives.  They are teens now, light years behind where they should be but healing slowly.

[Kitty C.]

'Scuse me while I go puke.............

It's scum like this that make me think harder about involuntary sterilization.............

[patton]

Most of you know I have sole custody now with visitation for mom.

The good news is our son wont have ANY brothers or sisters by her as she had her tubes tied (Medicaid of course paid for it)!  Meaning you and me, who actually legally pay taxes!

I'm sure there's dead beat parents (both mom and dads), but seems like we hear some of the worse cases on here.

[Peanutsdad]

Bro,, not only do we hear about them here,, a lot of us are LIVING them.


you cant imagine how stunned I was after listening to my ex self righteously harp how BOTH parents had a duty to support their children.

After SHE was ordered to pay cs,, the hate in her face was plain and if looks could kill....but she told me in no uncertain terms,, I would NEVER see s dime from her.

Hmmmm, ok, so it WAS all about the money.

[Sherry1]

$630/mo plus we have one full time kid living with us, she has two with her.  Now that she finally has a job first time in years, CS will go down about $420 a month.  We will have a major battle getting CS down, we will probably have to take her to court.  When SD graduates in two years, it will be the same battle.