Okay, here goes.............

[Kitty C.]

A handful of you know what has been going on with me the past few months/years, but it's time to let everyone else know, since now I need some help.  I'm filing for divorce and moving out with DS at the end of the month.  I've had it with the alcoholism, the verbal and emotional abuse (to DS as well), and the severe potential for physical abuse.   No one should have to live this way and I can't put my son or myself thru this anymore.

It will be hairy for the next few weeks, especially once the cat is out of the bag.  I am afraid of what he might do when he finds out/gets served (go out on a BAD bender, then all hell will break loose), but I have a TREMENDOUS support system, INCLUDING all of my dear friends here.  I have deputy friends who will protect me as well.  As many have told me, past behavior is a really good indicator of what can happen, and since he assaulted me 1 1/2 months ago, I have every reason to believe that he could do it again.

I am attempting to do this pro se and have the cover form filled out that is required with filing a civil petition, I also have the proof of service of original notice done.  I also have (taken from the state code) the requirements of what information is needed in the initial petition.  What I DON'T have is the wording, the legal verbiage required in a pleading.  Can anyone help me out?

It feels very strange to be on the receiving end on this site, as I'm used to giving.  But I also ask that you keep DS and I in your thoughts and prayers..........  

[Brent]

>I'm filing for divorce and moving
>out with DS at the end of the month.  

:(


>I've had it with the
>alcoholism, the verbal and emotional abuse (to DS as well),
>and the severe potential for physical abuse.   No one should
>have to live this way and I can't put my son or myself thru
>this anymore.

You're right- this isn't something that you or your child should be exposed to. There's no "upside" to living with an alcoholic. I've seen it up close, and it's all bad. :(



>I am attempting to do this pro se and have the cover form
>filled out that is required with filing a civil petition, I
>also have the proof of service of original notice done.  I
>also have (taken from the state code) the requirements of what
>information is needed in the initial petition.  What I DON'T
>have is the wording, the legal verbiage required in a
>pleading.  Can anyone help me out?

You mean the wording in the actual form for dissolution? The clerks at the local courthouse should be able to get you that. If I've misunderstood, let me know and I'll see what I can find.



>It feels very strange to be on the receiving end on this site,
>as I'm used to giving.  But I also ask that you keep DS and I
>in your thoughts and prayers..........  

You've been there for countless others, Kitty, and we'll be here for you. I'm very sorry that you're going through this. :(  It's small consolation, but know that at least:

- You're about as well-prepared as you could be.
- You know what to expect, and you know more or less how things will progress.
- You won't go down a lot of blind alleys, and you won't make the classic mistakes most people make.

I know, I know, it's not exactly something to cheer about, but you have friends here and we'll help you as much as possible. Like I said, you've been there to support lots and lots of other people, now it's time for us to help support you.

[lucky]

Oh, Kitty!  I'm so sorry. :(   ((((Kitty))))  You are right, though, neither you nor your son should have to live with that.

I don't know if this will help, but here is a link to the MN pro se forms published by the MN courts.  Hopefully it'll give you an idea of what you need.

http://www.courts.state.mn.us/ctforms/dissolution_index.asp


I will definitely keep you in my prayers, Kitty.  Take care of yourself.

[Davy]

Kitty

You WILL be OK and yes I got a wiff of your troubles about 1.5 months in one of your posts.  That's the only reason I didn't asked if you were thawing the turkey balls for the holiday season !!

We know of your strengths and diligence and hope against all hope that you will take every necessary precaution to prevent any further physical aggression against you...in all ways.  You are way to smart and seasoned not to have an escape plan (so to speak).  I'm really not very good at this but you should know of the concern others will have and through this concern you are able to find encouragment to make the right choices in all matters.  

About the verbage.  I suspect you may have exhausted the research locally but in my Tx. court house library there is a book of the appropriate forms so there may a chance your local court house may provide the same.  You may simply be able to ask a clerk for a document you can use as a sample (they are public records).  Some months ago, I found a web address (sorry can't locate) of forms (by state) and I think I posted the address here ...perhaps Brent or MK have a clue.   The only thing else I can think of is researching larger IA jurisdictions web site for online forms.  Please keep in mind that as a  Pro se litigant you are not expected to know the same rules (motion/order format) as the officers of the courts (US Sup rulings)  but I think it always worth the effort to do so.  Also it is best to prepare any Order in advance to coincide with your motion and somehow mention it to the court (thereby informing the court you expect to get what you ask for and that you are dead serious).  It is always best to anticipate a defeat or loss.  Always be prepared to act and never re-act !!!

Sorry this is so long ... but from ole Methodist to another :

Subject: Psalms 23

This an eye opener; some probably never thought nor looked at this
Psalm in this way, even though they say it over and over again.


The Lord is my Shepherd
That's Relationship!

I shall not want
That's Supply!

He maketh to lie down in green pastures
That's Rest!

He leadeth me beside the still waters
That's Refreshment!

He restoreth my soul
That's Healing!

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
That's Guidance!

For His name sake
That's Purpose!

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
That's Testing!

I will fear no evil
That's Protection!

For Thou art with me
That's Faithfulness!

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me
That's Discipline!

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies
That's Hope!

Thou annointest my head with oil
That's Consecration!

My cup runneth over
That's Abundance!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
That's Blessing!

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
That's Security!

Forever
That's Eternity!

Face it, the Lord is crazy about you.  

[StPaulieGirl]

Oh Kitty, I'm so sorry :-(

Are all your papers in a safe place?  If you have a place to go, be gone when he gets served.  

You're doing the right thing.  Once they start hitting you, it's all over, no matter how much they promise never to do it again.  It still hurts to break up a marriage.  Your son doesn't need to see this stuff, because it does affect the kids later on down the road.

I tried filling out my own paperwork, but ended up hiring a lawyer.  I'm no help there, but I'm sure someone here can help you.  Do any of your friends know of a reliable paralegal?  It will be worth it to have someone type the paperwork up for you.  

You have my prayers and heartfelt sympathy, Kitty.  Take care of yourself and your son!

[MYSONSDAD]

Separation and divorce are hard no matter what side of the fence your on. Ripple affects that go far beyond what any of us could have imagined.

You have always been a tremendous support for all of us here. Willing to help in anyway you can. You show great intelligence and wisdom, willing to share your knowledge with others. I also get a strong sense that you are a SURVIVOR and will come thru this with your head held high.

We are all here for you...

God Bless and the prayers are heading your way.

[gmaoftwo]

Be strong...as I know you are.  Stay safe.  For all of the wisdom, encouragement, and heartfelt advice you have shared so generously with so many of us here, we love you!!  We are here for you.

Prayers to you and your son always!!

[nerd]

Bless your heart Kitty I think you are a most courageous woman.  You and your son deserve so much better out of life.  You sound like a person who, once your have set a goal will succeed at anything!  You are a wise woman to prepare yourself so well for the upcoming struggle.  Our prayers are with you.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be; because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want in life.

[sweetnsad]

I know you don't know me and vice versa, but I have gone through what you are about to, minus the alcohol...My ex-husband abused me right from the time I was pregnant with our daughter, and yes, if he assaulted you once, he WILL do it again.

I am sorry for you and can only hope that you are strong and have wonderful friends and family.  When I left my husband, my parents disowned me...I was an embarassment to them...Big Catholics...AND my mother knew he was abusing me...she had seen the evidence and knew I had been hospitalized....so I'm glad to hear you have shoulders to lean on, even if they are just ours.

Remember, you are doing what's right for YOU and YOUR SON...that is what's most important...just stay safe and know we are thinking of you.

:-)

[Kitty C.]

Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for your support!  Thank you, Lucky, for the link.  I will check it out at first opportunity.  Davy, you've brought tears to my eyes.  I have never read Psalm 23 like that, but it gives it SO much more meaning!  From one Methodist to another, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

All of you here at SPARC are like a second family to me.  You're right, Brent.  I AM going into this with my eyes wide open, and WELL armed with as much knowledge as I think I need, but also where to get it if I need it.  I can't imagine where I'd be right now if I didn't have this site and all my friends here.

In a past drunken state (when I was 'trying' to explain to him the severe legal repercussions of a 3rd DUI, including loss of job, home, marriage, and VERY possibly his child as well) he sarcastically asked me where I got my law degree.  I told him a degree wasn't absolutely necessary, BUT educating yourself so that you know what your rights are is a MUST.  It's the ones who go into this blind, deaf, and dumb who get raked over the coals by the legal system and those opposing them.  Shut him up real quick!  

I might be posting sparcely at times in the next few weeks, as I know there will be days I will be busy elsewhere, but when DS and I are safe and sound in our new home, I will let you all know just how much your prayers REALLY worked!  God bless each and every one of you!!!!!!