problem with boy/girl things at school.

[Indigo Mom]

My son came home with a note from his teacher yesterday.  It said "he was found to be bullying/teasing 2 little girls and threatening violence".  Ok...since I know the life my son has lived, and the fact that he "can" and "does" things like this at home...I was pissed.  

Well, I'm not pissed at him anymore, I'm so mad at the school I could throw up.  He's now labeled a "bully" and being "watched" for his violent, threatening behavior on the playground.  This will not stand, I assure you that.  

What "really" happened is this.

For the past few weeks, my son has been telling me about this "group" of girls that chase him and his friend, Nolan around the playground, calling them names, and when the boys are too tired to run anymore...they're coats are stolen.  They don't get their coats back until the girls are finished messing with them.  I wanted him to "handle" this one on his own...(if mommy takes care of it, he could be teased even more) I told him to talk to the aides on the playground, let them know what's going on.  He did...a few times.  Nothing happened.  

I told him to talk to his teacher...she's very nice and seems fair, not to mention she adores my son.  He did...nothing happened.  (my son will no longer "handle" issues such as this on his own)

What he did yesterday was stand up for himself.  He told the girls that if they even TRY to take his coat, he's going to pull their hair.  THIS is why my son is now a "bully" and one who makes "threats" of violence.

I talked to the secretary this AM when I dropped the kids off.  She said they will NOT tolerate violence/bullying/teasing in any way, shape, or form.  That's fine...except for the fact that they've not only "tolerated" what these girls are doing to my son and his friend...but they poo-poo'd it away as "they're just being silly little girls".  The secretary used those EXACT words..."silly little girls".  

Nice.  It's ok for them to terrorize boys on the playground, but when the boys have had enough..they should have enough common sense to "ignore" them because they're "silly little girls".? Not gonna stand.

The principal should be calling me this morning.  The label of "bully" and one who threatens violence WILL be removed from my sons head, because it's NOT fair or appropriate.  He's now "flagged" for this behavior...and what he did was NORMAL!!!  It was normal for one who was fed up with the garbage.  He let these little twits KNOW that he's not putting up with it anymore!!!  And no, his coat was NOT stolen yesterday, so what he did worked!!!!  What's wrong with that????

To teach my son that he has to "deal" with this behavior from "silly little girls" while he's FREEZING COLD outside without his coat ain't gonna be tolerated by ME. (luckily, these past few days have been warm...but still)

I won't punish my son for this.  I've never taught him not to hit "girls" or not to be mean to "girls", I teach him to be nice to everyone.  Just because one is of the female persuasion, does not mean they're "immune" from punishment when they're terrorist little sh*ts!!!  On the other hand, I have and will continue to teach my children that they are ALLOWED to defend themselves if someone is hurting them, but they better make damned sure it's self defense.  

I'm so mad!  It just doesn't get any more "unfair" than this.  

[Kitty C.]

When you talk to this principal, tell him about the D&G campaign with the t-shirts and ask him if he thinks THAT is 'silly', too.  If yo get no satisfaction from this guy, I STRONGLY recommend going to the school board.  I've seen schools talk out of both sides of their mouths when it comes to bullying and teasing, doing one thing and saying another. In the meantime, kids are being terrorized in a place where they're SUPPOSED to be safe.

When are these adults going to grow up????

[kiddosmom]

Call you??? Sorry but when I have a problem with the school I march myself right up there and demand to speak with the principal!!
I tell her what I have been told and let her know I will not tolorate this and that I want the teachers who 'did nothing' repremandid.

[StPaulieGirl]

Heh, the first thing that came to mind is that those little girls have a crush on your son and his friend.

I would most definitely complain about your son's situation.  Is his friend also "being watched"?  I would try and contact his folks about this, if you're comfortable with the idea.  A meeting with all parents concerned might be interesting.  

[Kitty C.]

Then if you go TOGETHER to face the principle, it will look that much worse for him!  And I agree with kiddosmom, and demand reprimands of the teachers who failed to protect your son from the girls, as they were obviously NOT following school policy by enforcing the rules.

[Indigo Mom]

Looks like I'm in trouble.  Think I'll get detention?  

Anyway, she began explaining the school "policy" on bullying/harrassment/threats/teasing, etc etc blah blah blah...I interrupted her and let her know that not only did I read the brochure about this "school policy" when I enrolled my children there, but I talked to HER personally about it on their 1st day of school, as my son was bullied in the other school, so I know her opinion on it.  And, I let her know I'm fully aware of the STATE policy on bullying.  

I then went on to say that my son doesn't fall into the category of "bully", because he was simply defending himself and his property against this group of girls who have been bullying, harrassing, threatening, teasing, and stealing his and his friends coats for weeks.  (I LOVE using other peoples words against them)  

I added that these "silly girls" DO fall into that category and should be treated as such...but they weren't even so much as talked to about this matter.

 I then stated that I find it horribly offensive that these little "terrorists" were "allowed" to get away with tormenting my son and his friend for weeks...but these boys are NOT allowed to defend themselves...unless they want to be branded with the word "bully".  I told her something is terribly wrong in her school for this to be happening.

I could tell she was "done" listening to my "rambling", so it seemed like she entered this "fake" apology...which I didn't bother listening to, because it didn't "mean" anything to me.  I made SURE she knew that I know that each school must send in their "bullying policy" their "bullying education" and any other thing of that nature to the Department of Education EVERY year...and let her know that doing this doesn't mean anything if the policy is only enforced when they "feel" like enforcing it.  Columbine changed ALOT of things in our schools!


She asked that I come into her office after school.  Wonder why.....

I tell you one thing...I'm not backing down on this issue.  If my son is still flagged as a "bully", then this school is going to have some real problems...and not with just some deranged, yappy, head strong mom coming in to "talk" with the principal.

Thanks everyone...oh, and SPG?  About Nolan.  He's a good kid, however, "he's a child who doesn't "like" to admit when he's done something wrong."    Gee!  Wonder if that's because he didn't do anything wrong?  Anyway, I'm going to catch that lil guy after school as well....and I'll see if he'll give up his parents phone number.

[Kitty C.]

If Nolan's parents pick him up at school, I'd have a chat right then and there first, then INVITE them to accompany you to the principal's office!

[Indigo Mom]

Ok, this broad (and I'm showing disrespect for a reason) has until 230 tomorrow to "fix" this situation...to "unflag" both my son and his friend, and to "flag" those bully girls...or I'm going just a "wee" bit over her head.

i swear, I talked to a brick fricken wall!!!

[StPaulieGirl]

Depending on how cooperative the other parents and the principal are, it might put an end to it fairly.

[StPaulieGirl]

Are Nolan's parents listed in the phone book?  Try and keep calm when you go in to talk with the principal. Heehee, yeah I know...