Getting baby used to dad - Need help!

[Stepmom0418]

NOT having a relationship with her father  and being alienated from him also invites a lifetime of pain and dysfunction as well!!!

Your daughter deserves to have a relationship with her father that is not under your control and manipulation!

[RainGirl]

And I see this as a step toward that.  Things will not always be this way, but in order to do them well, it will take time.  Yet it seems many here believe I should pluck her from one devastation and throw her to another.  I fail to understand that concept.  

[Stepmom0418]

You just proved everyones point here!!

You want to be in control and that is why you wont send him here. He might like someones advice and you might disagree!!

This is not about you and how you feel, this is about a father daughter relationship!



ps. if this father came here we could actually here both sides to this story and I am sure that we would find that his story is a lot diffrent than your story!!

[Stepmom0418]

Is the father abusive? on drugs?

If not then there should be nothing that should prevent the father from taking this child even if it is for a few hours to start! He needs to be able to show the child, without you being there for her to fall back on, that she has a loving and trusting father as well as a mother.

[RainGirl]

Or that the situation is already tense enough without a bunch of bad advice from a bunch of well intended but out of control fanatics who don't have a clue

[MYSONSDAD]

IT IS CALLED PARENTING.

You did not get pregnant by yourself. He wants to parent, let him. You have no problems leaving this child with strangers...

[RainGirl]

I have never left her with a stranger.  I have taken steps to prevent her from a situation like that.  I do not abandon her with those se is not comfortable or familiar with, nor to I have any intentions of doing so.  If you have any ideas how to help warm her upto her father and speed the process up, then fine, but the process itself is not up for debate here.

[MYSONSDAD]

That is the problem, her father will always be a stranger.

Wait until she is older and see your choices at work...


"Children learn what they live"

[Stepmom0418]

Everyone has one but you seem to have MANY!!

I will be interested to hear how this child reacts to knowing that her mother, that loves her so dearly, interfeered in the relationship between her and her dad.

You better HOPE and PRAY that this doesnt come back to bite you in the a$$ in the years to come!!!

AND I hope you are able to live with what you are putting your daughter through!

[MYSONSDAD]

Will spend time on important, real issues.

I wish you and your little girl many blessings. I hope someday the father will be allowed to enter her life. To be a parent. In all of this mess, maybe somehow, somewhere you understand where we are coming from. Alienation is a way of life for so many here. Maybe that's why we understand this more than you care to admit.

Take time to reread the posts and use the suggestions given. The only thing to come out of it is a better awareness for the sake of your daughter.

If you ever find time, look into some of the books that are devoted to something called 'Tough Love'.

Being a Parent is a life time of sacrifice. Sometimes we have to do things that we disagree with, but it is best for the child in the long run...

That is why we are all here. I hope you find it in you to do the right thing.


"Children learn what they live"