request to sparc admin

[bigsigh2004]

never said I was leaving

nut started the name calling in my original thread if you want to get technical.

I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind, based on my choice, I was looking for advice on how to word things, best way to handle it. You may not like what I'm doing, and if you don't, there was no reason to bother saying anything to me. Now was there?

Good parenting means being able to admit when you aren't the best at being the CP, I'm not. Do I like havong to admit that? Of course not, but it's being honest at least, for the sake of my daughter.

As I said to someone somewhere on here, how many of the dad's fighting for custody here would love to have thier ex admit they weren't cut out to be a CP and hand the kid over? Just because I'm a dad who figured out I'm not that great at it, I'm some sort of evil rotten horrible being?

That makes no logical sense.

[bigsigh2004]

.

[bigsigh2004]

I was posting on several boards back then. ONE of the boards gave me rather heavy handed advice in that regard. (basically being the biggest dick I could be) Again, somewhere in that mass of mess called my original post Kitty C deduced it was probably at divorcing dads (or whatever that site's name is) and I believe she was correct. You admitted to not reading everything, so stop assuming.

Just because I can't remember a lousy screen name from a few years ago doesn't make me a fake for god's sake. You are really grasping at straws. Did you have an at-a-glance desk calendar two or three years ago? can you tell me what the serial number down at the bottom of it was? Because those were the numbers I used. Do you have such a photograpic memory that just by my screen name you'd remember who the hell I was? I don't even think my posts are accessable anymore, it looks like the whole site changed since the last time I was here.

and the biggest problem this, and other boards have, and why I DON'T utilize anything like this as my sole source of information, (again that wonderful assuming you are doing) is due to all the crap people DO add (like your last sentence) that comepletely takes away from the focus of the original question. I didn't get that the last time.

You get so hung up on lynching someone or ramming your moral opinion down someone's throat you lose site of why a question was even being asked. For the sake of a kid.

[catherine]

Personal beliefs in self-improvement?

"Just because I'm a dad who figured out I'm not that great at it, I'm some sort of evil rotten horrible being?"

No, you aren't.  However, when people can see defenciences in themselves, they often work hard to correct the problems within themselves and not look for shortcuts.  Like if you realize you are unfit physcially, go on a diet and exercise schedule and try and correct the problem.  If you run and get gastric bypass surgery or diet pills, that's taking a shortcut and is an easy way to fix it, but it is only temporary.

[Wi-Mom]

Well I never even knew you could have a profile on this board.. so before I signed in.. I clicked on my name to see what it said. All it says is that I'm male.. which I am not. Don't know how it got there.. but if anyone thought that WI-Mom was my ROLE in a samesex relationship.. well.. I hope you didn't!

I'M A GIRL!!

hehehehehe.....

[bigsigh2004]

with my wife's urging, I've spent the past three months trying to be "better" at it. Part of why she pulled the "hands off" deal. Her exact words were Rich, sh*t or get off the pot.

I read books, I talked to my own mother, I tried lots of things other than pushing what I wasn't sure how to do on my wife. I still suck, and my daughter is getting worse not better. I'm getting more frustrated, not less.

To use your example, it ends up that *I* was the gastric bypass/diet pill for my ex. I gave her the time to get herself back to who she was. I don't really find that to be a bad thing.

I was the temporary solution to what wasn't a permanent problem my ex had. I'm really fine with that.

With that said, all I have been looking for is what the opinion is of the best way to transition my daughter back to what is (should)? be her permanent situation, from this temporary one. And this is what I get.

[bigsigh2004]

because this place started as a father's rights site (and still pretty much is, obviously from the lambasting I'm getting) it just defaults to male.

thanks for injecting some humor in all this though. Got a chuckle out of me.

[Bolivar]

"because this place started as a father's rights site (and still pretty much is, obviously from the lambasting I'm getting)........"

Weird statement coming from a male.


I will say you are the best con-poster I have ever seen!  Does NOW pay you for your services?  If not, they should.  You are damn goooooooood!!!


Thanks for the entertainment.  :-)

[janM]

"I believe Jan was talking about hurling insensitve insults"

"Jan is very much right, the crap you are pulling isn't doing anyone any good"

I did not infer any such thing! I just want to see an end to this nonsense!
My grandson's kindergarten class is better behaved than the posters on this board. I am all for free speech, but some of these posts are getting huge and the space could definitely be put to better use.

DO NOT SAY I SAID SOMETHING THAT I DID NOT.

I am done with this thread. I suggest everyone else follow suit and return this board to the high standards it has come to be known by.

Or was.

[bigsigh2004]

Bolivar,

you really are getting annoying. I have a legitimate custody concern, and you are turning it into one big farce with absolultey no hard proof of your claim other than really out there speculation. You are doing my child a huge injustice.

From what I understand of the evolvement of this site, it went from strictly helping father's get what they want to trying to broaden the focus to "best interest of child".

I'm being attacked, being called a fake and worse just because I happen to be a father who admits full time parenting is not in the best interest of my daughter. Regardless if I'm the CP, or the NCP of my child, I still have "rights" of which I want to ensure protection of.

Where do you get off trying to make me feel ashamed for feeling the best role for me is the NCP of my daughter? There are plenty of father's on this site who are just looking to get more time with their child(ren) not take total custody away. Why aren't you ragging on them as well?

I did what was best for my daughter at the time I took custody on the emergency basis, and I'm choosing to do what's best for her now that the crisis is over. 20/20 hindsight I would have just gone for a temporary custody arrangement, but that was not the advice I was given at the time. (by multiple sources)

Now get the hell off my ass if you dont have anything productive to help my situation.