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Author Topic: Ahhh, the holiday's  (Read 8050 times)

gemini3

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RE: good grief
« Reply #30 on: Jan 04, 2007, 11:08:28 AM »
123



wysiwyg

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RE: good grief
« Reply #31 on: Jan 04, 2007, 11:34:12 AM »
It is not a punishment - please understand, if we could buy the child a suit that would happen, but if you get child at 6 PM on Friday and the dance start at 6 pm that same night (we will not see him until the night of the dance) how are we supposed to accomplish that?  BM will NOT (and we have asked) allow us the time to do this for the child and go shopping.  This was addressed int the courts order that BM refuses to allow BF additional time to do anything with the child whether necessary or just fun time, but failed to order a remedy. The child is unusually tall and heavy at his age so just going out and buying size X is not feasible as any suit will have to be taylored to fit his large frame.  She has been court ordered to notify us of any activity when she finds out of said activity and to send all and any appropriate clothing with the child.  

The suit for the wedding, was on fathers day weekend, we were to get the child on Friday for a Sunday wedding where we would have had time to do such shopping, she denied that holiday/ summer vacation weekend and denied the child to participate in the wedding that he had committed to.




Mamacass

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RE: good grief
« Reply #32 on: Jan 04, 2007, 07:34:22 PM »
Honestly I think you're lucky that you get any clothes sent over.  BM never sent clothes over for SS, not when she had full, not when we had 50/50, and not now that we have full.  She didn't return all the clothes we bought for her house at the beginning of last school year (although he's wearing a lot of them back not that he's outgrown them.).  Also we bought him 4 outfits at the beginning of last summer, the next weekend he came back to our house in junk.  so we asked her if he needed more clothes and sent over 3 more outfits.  She had him for about a month after that and then he spent almost the entire summer with us.  He went back to her a few weeks before we got custody.  So basically she has a whole bunch of barely worn summer clothes, b/c she barely had him.  At no time has she ever given us any of those clothes back, and she probably never will.  I'm not sure why she wants them.  We have 2 more boys, and she doesn't have any other kids (not that she kept anyways).  Yo would think that she at least would have sent them with SS when he spent the summer with us, but I guess she had more important things to worry about than what SS was wearing.  
Your BM sound a lot like the one we deal with.  She cares more about punishing you than she does about making sure her child has what he needs.  Not much you can do to change that.  The sad thing is, her selfishness is going to affect you, but even moreso, it will affect SS.  Don't play her games, or you'll be hurting him just as much as she is.
As far as the dance goes, you could ask your SS if he has a suit to wear, and remind him to bring it with him.  You could also call BM to remind her, and if she tells you that you need to provide it, just tell her to re-read her court order.  If she has a suit, but doesn't send it, I would suggest driving SS to her house to get changed before the dance.  

Mamacass

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RE: good grief
« Reply #33 on: Jan 04, 2007, 07:34:25 PM »
Honestly I think you're lucky that you get any clothes sent over.  BM never sent clothes over for SS, not when she had full, not when we had 50/50, and not now that we have full.  She didn't return all the clothes we bought for her house at the beginning of last school year (although he's wearing a lot of them back not that he's outgrown them.).  Also we bought him 4 outfits at the beginning of last summer, the next weekend he came back to our house in junk.  so we asked her if he needed more clothes and sent over 3 more outfits.  She had him for about a month after that and then he spent almost the entire summer with us.  He went back to her a few weeks before we got custody.  So basically she has a whole bunch of barely worn summer clothes, b/c she barely had him.  At no time has she ever given us any of those clothes back, and she probably never will.  I'm not sure why she wants them.  We have 2 more boys, and she doesn't have any other kids (not that she kept anyways).  Yo would think that she at least would have sent them with SS when he spent the summer with us, but I guess she had more important things to worry about than what SS was wearing.  
Your BM sound a lot like the one we deal with.  She cares more about punishing you than she does about making sure her child has what he needs.  Not much you can do to change that.  The sad thing is, her selfishness is going to affect you, but even moreso, it will affect SS.  Don't play her games, or you'll be hurting him just as much as she is.
As far as the dance goes, you could ask your SS if he has a suit to wear, and remind him to bring it with him.  You could also call BM to remind her, and if she tells you that you need to provide it, just tell her to re-read her court order.  If she has a suit, but doesn't send it, I would suggest driving SS to her house to get changed before the dance.  

 

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