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Messages - Mom1Step2

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Giving up your rights does not mean you will no longer be responsible for child support, etc. It just means you dont get to see your son. Be careful.

General Issues / Re: Adderall refills...
« on: Jun 09, 2014, 12:11:56 PM »
While it is illegal to sell or use the pills herself, it isnt nessesarily harming the child. You would have to prove harm in court for custody reasons. The issue of her using/selling the pills, you would have to get her busted some way and it would have to be legal. Like have her sell some to a cop or something. Probably not going to happen. Sometimes you just have to let things go and let them get themselves in trouble.

Custody Issues / Re: Mom took the child
« on: Nov 13, 2013, 12:28:09 PM »
If the child contacts your DH again, he should see if the child wants to be picked up. Just to hang out. He has every right, as child is supposed to be living with him. Let BM know you have child. But be very careful, make sure child really wants to 'visit'. It sounds like she already knows the consequences as far as BM goes.

Custody Issues / Re: Mom took the child
« on: Nov 07, 2013, 01:01:24 PM »
I feel your pain Snow.
DH's two DDs wanted to move back with BM many times. She would show them a good time, buy them stuff & tell them how mean we were for having rules & such. BM turned them over to us on her own with girls were 5 & 8 and BM was living out of a truck.
When OSD turned around 14 or 15, she just turned it off one day. She liked our house better & has never swapped back (except for slight times when a BF lived near mom or something).
YSD on the other hand was always a handful. She was 2 at the time of their split and moved in with us at 5. She never really experienced things the same way OSD did. She always wanted to move back in with BM from the first time BM mentioned it. YSD was trained by BM to do things to drive the entire family crazy & if there was ever any trouble, a simple phone call to BM would cause WW3. It wasnt worth it to argue, punish, or do anything.
When she was 12, the news came that DH was not the biological father of YSD. After a few months (at the end of school when BMs parenting time started anyway), he let her go to live with BM. It was exteremly hard on him and I dont think he would have made it throught if there wasnt the OSD still living with us.
There was however, after she left such a relief from stress that we ALL noticed & commented on it.
Good luck. This will be really hard on the whole family, but especially your husband if he decides to let go.

Custody Issues / Re: Mom took the child
« on: Nov 06, 2013, 02:41:10 PM »
We did basically what Ocean said years ago.
Mom hijacked kids from school. Dad let it go on for a week or so, then went in one day, changed the paperwork so Mom could not check out kids from school or check out from after care.
I left work early that day and picked up all the kids from aftercare just after school let out. Dad let Mom know that she would be unable to take the kids, but she went anyway with her mother. Aftercare said... sorry, they are already gone & you are not on the list. She was steaming mad, but guess what... we were not at home that evening.
Of course, all of this would be different for a middle schooler. They can just walk out the door & jump in a car. Another thing is she probably has a cell phone. Only way to avoid it would to be there each day just before school let out. But then you could have a fight on your hands.
Good luck.

Father's Issues / Re: My kid's Dental insurance coverage
« on: Oct 31, 2013, 10:56:54 AM »
My family is covered by my husband's plan. My daughter (his step-daughter) included. There is no issue except sometimes we get odd looks with the name difference. Thought I assume that wouldnt be the case for you since the kids probably have the same last name as you and your current wife.
The only trouble we have encountered is my daughter regarding eye insurance. For some reason she is listed on the policy as "other", so each time she gets rejected because they code her as child. I have to remind them to code her as other and it goes right through.

Custody Issues / Re: How to keep a custody visitation journal
« on: Sep 24, 2013, 11:45:15 AM »
It is always best to keep to the facts: What happened, what was said by whom, don't forget dates and times. Leave out what you "think" or what someone is "feeling".
Picked up kid at xx time. Ex said "bla bla bla" in a raised voice. I replied "stuff". Agreed to meet at xx time.
Be very factual & it probably helps to put a little of the bad stuff you do as well (you know, the stuff you are not entirely proud of). It shows your log is more honest. Like if you raised your voice or said something rude.
As for hand written or typed, I have no idea. We always did hand written because it felt more genuine, but it sure could be cumbersome.

Parenting Issues / Piercings & tatoos ... & maybe a little marriage
« on: Sep 06, 2013, 08:54:42 AM »
Just curious...
(facts: Florida, child is 16 & female)
Pretty sure I know the answer, I just wanted to know if anyone had any experience.
With joint legal, can either parent sign the waiver to allow a minor to get a piercing/tatoo? From all that I can find, it looks like only one parent needs to sign. Sure it may be possible to say after the fact... "You can't do that!". The problem is... the hole or tat is already there.
Another question... along the same lines... From what I can find, it requires both parents (unless one is dead, or the parent can prove they are sole) to sign for underage marriage. Of course if the one parent somehow pushes it through, the other parent can probably get it annulled. Anyone have experience with this one?
Man it's fun being the parents of teenagers!

I wonder if you could just file something saying that particular date isnt good for you. I seem to remember when we were going through court that the papers stating when the dates & times would be said... Call this number if you need to change the time/date. You could just say it is for work reasons & you will be completely avaliable on xx date.
It's just a thought.  Good luck.

My husband was told by his lawyer (when he was in a similar circumstance), if you want to be the father, the court will let you be the father. She stated you were the father by putting you in the birth certificate. Paternity usually doesnt matter unless the father wants to get out of the picture, and even then it doesnt matter much of the time.
It doesnt sound like you have a custody order in place, you need to get the ball rolling with that. Most states have self help centers that will point you in the right direction. These boards are not legal advice, just folks like you trying to help each other.
Might I suggest you remove all of your personal info from your post? These boards can be seen by anyone & your ex could find it & who knows what.

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