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Messages - balleros

I had a lovely son in 2011 while not being married to his biological father and as soon as my son was born, I requested child support but I never thought of custody since having my last name and no contact with dad, I didn't think I needed to.
We had a lot of medical bills from out of network that between bio dad insurance and mine, I could have received 90 % back but each reimbursement bio dad received (for money I had paid), never came to me but to him and I never saw it. Legal aid at court suggested filing for custody so that bio dad insurance would have papers indicating that the reimbursements needed to come to custodial parent.
In 2015 I filed for sole custody (allowing visitation) and requested bio dad to pay his unpaid 50 % of medical bills. we had a meditation. Father never showed up.
I went to court in January and father did not show up.I had spoken to him before going to court and he had said that he was going to call court and ask for continuance on the day of court as he had an important work commitment. I was at court and the clerk expressed precisely the same. The judge called me and she realized that there was a child support petition (unpaid medical bills) so she said that I needed to go to another court for that (the one where we have alwayts gone to for support)  and that the clerk was going to give me the new court date. Judge was ready to dismiss me and I reminded her that I was also filing for custody and she said that the entire case was moved to the other court house.
I was dismissed and I was given the time and date to go back to court in March.
March arrived and for the first time, the timing was not goof for me so I told bio dad that I was going to call and ask for continuance. I did call at 8 am on the day of our court date and to my surprise, the clerk told me that the judge back in January did issue a ruling and she had given me full sole custody and zero visitation to dad .
I was speechless
I am not mad but I found it odd that she would dismiss me and then there is a ruling and neither father not mother have a copy of it.
Does this often happen?
I was told to go back to the courthouse and request a copy
I won't be able to go until After April 12 and since I don't have a parenting plan, it doesn't affect my daily like at all but I am just surprised at the whole thing
Could it be that the judge simply saw no biological father present and she ended up making up her decision?
any thoughts?
could father question the validity of this?
I doubt he will
Mixed bag...I know.That's why I filed so that he can be free
so you think I can drop this last petition (the custody) but keep the child support that has been established since 2011?
I do want to keep that
I am open to visitation and the way I filed was "supervised visitation on Sunday to establish a bond"
see my post from today Sunday please
I posted a day ago about what to expect at a court hearing for custody.Right  after my post, I received a text from bio father asking me to cancel my petition for sole custody or to postpone it as he can't make it (he has to work). He didn't show to the mediation appointment also because of work.I work too and I took time off for the mediation appointment and I was planning on taking time off for the court date.
He does not want court to decide on sole custody or not and he wants "us" to talk. My son is 4 1/2 and I have been giving this man opportunities to talk since I was pregnant and opportunities to spend time with his son. My first response to his text was "I will think about it but I don't think I can cancel with two day notice".I thought I Had to go and show up and ask to postpone it. Bio father kept engaging in texting all weekend and he keeps saying he will change things around etc etc.
it was nerve-racking. I ended up saying that today.I told him I was very disappointed and I was not sure what I was going to do. His last text said that if I postpone the date or go ahead with court, he will stop handling things personally and he will send an attorney to all hearing and have "no personal involvement".
I am getting child support but this was my first time filing for custody and granting him visitation (that he never used). he spent less than an hour in 4 1/2 years with my son.he only made the effort of "visiting" him because he wanted to swab him for a DNA test.
My options now are :
1. not show up and forget about this and continue to receive child support.My kid has my last name so it doesn't affect me much
2. show up on Wednesday and see what the judge says.
3. show up on wed and ask to postpone it
4.Any other option?

For now, I have decided not to respond to any other text from father
I would LOVE any input as I doubt I can take time off on Monday or Tuesday to see an attorney since court date is Wed
Custody Issues / what to expect at court hearing
Jan 09, 2016, 08:44:09 AM
My son is 4 and I have been receiving child support since he was 9 months but I never filed for Custody. he has my last name and bio father and I were never married.

We have a court date coming up and I am wondering what the process is like since I never went to a court date. So far everything was handled by Los Angeles child support system without us being present because none iof us questioned the state mandated child support amount.

So this is our first time. Do we see a clerk first or do we go directly to judge? is it a room where we are alone or do all people with same appointment wait there?

Bio father did not go to mediadtion appointment so I don't know if judge will grant my request for sole custody based on that fact and the fact he only saw his son for 1 hour in these 4 1/2 years or if he will really listen to what father has to say. I also filed it in a way that gives father visitation hours so that they can bond.

can I reject a decision the judge makes (if it is against what I filed for)? can I say that I need time to think about it?

someone told me that if you file for full custody, you lose child support.Is this accurate?
I do get child support and my son has my name but I never filed for custody
Now we have a court date soon.
Dad only spent 30 minutes with child since he has born in 2011. Dad lives 60 miles away and he has never made any parenting decision.
If I lose child support, then I will re think it
My son is 4 and he has spent an hour with his bio dad. I filed for child support as soon as my son was boren but I neber filed for custody.My son has my last name and father is not mentioned in any legal document.
I had issues with reimbursements from some medical expenses where I could have easily received 90 % out of $2000 but because dad did not do his part and his insurance does not have a custody order, I can't receive the money.
so that triggered the request.
dad was served.
he texted and he said he can't take the day off.
he also said "I am a better dad" and he thinks all I need is his insurance and child support.
not true
I have tried and tried to have him around
He acts as if I had offended him when in reality the ones person who was offended here is my son.
so what shall I expect?
our mediation appointment is on Monday
if he doesnt show, is this moved to another date? will they make decisions wihut him being present?
According to United Health care, the refunds went as a virtual check to a QMCSO PoBox in Florida. They have always told our provider and myself that they didnt go to the subscriber.They also gave me a ref number but it is an eletronic check so they can't check if they were cashed or not.
I received the first EOBs from the QMCSO Po Box that forwarded them to the Los Angeles County offie but not the last ones. They only sent that, not the money to CA.
That is why I asked United Health care for the reasonss why (I read online that reimbursements needed to go to the paent who paid them) and they said our file in incomplete and the subscriber needs to complete it.
NCP has always said that he never received the money.
I asked multiple times including yesterday at court hearing while the clerk was out of her desk picking up opies. he keeps saying "it is complicated and it is not an easy process".
Basically he is playing with money I used for my child for medial services. I paid $2000. I could have received $1800 to 1900 back if he had collaborated.Now I will be receiving 1000 that NCP will pay.
As for changing primary, yes, I took care of that in April when I saw how this was going. So for future out of network, his insurance balance will be the minimum and not the maximum I could be getting back (or losing in this case).
For the medical care we needed, we ONLY had out of network options. One option asked us to pay the $ 2000 at once and the other after each treatment. I chose to pay as we used services.NCP asked at court if we could have an agreement to ONLY see in network doctors. Clerk said that it would be impossible to add that as you can't predict when and where a childwill get sick. I added that he spends zero time with son so he can't make parenting decisions and he has no custody so before making parenting decisions he will need to file for custody and submit a parenting plan.
back to QMCSO: would I need an attorney to straighten this out? a letter requesting him to do it?
I went to court today and the main goal was to get these issues of QMCSO fixed but it didn't happen.This is the story.
My son gets insurance from NCP and from me. His father 's was the primary and mine secondary. We had $ 2000 on out of network expenses that I paid. I filed a claim with his insurance and they were all approved and paid and the money was sent to a POBOX in Florida that deals with QMCSOs. It is stuck there and it has never been released to me, the parent that paid them.United Health care (dad s insurance) says that subscriber (NCP) needs to contact them and his HR and hs garnishment department to get all straighten out and to complete the file that according to them, is incomplete. Between feb and May 2015 I have sent NCP several emails and letters requesting his collaboration. he never helped so court clerk prepared all paperwork to have him be responsible for 50 % of ther $2000.
I had hoped that the motion will make NCP fix the issues .
it wasn't the case. Today at court he aggred to pay his 50 % instead of having UHC sent the money .
It is hard to understand as I know he lives pay check to pay check.
For me, it also sucks as I get more money out of the 2000 I paid if dad sends me the EOB and the reimbursements and then my insurance can reimburse part of the balance. So instead of 50 %, I would get 95 %.But dad chose not to collaborate for who knows what reasons.
My fear is that if we go through a simialr situation in the future (kid is 4 so chances are we will see a lot of more doctors), I will have to do all this work again: contact dad, see no collaboration, see a court facilitator, prepare paperwork, file a motion, go to court (which means taking a day off) and blah  blah blah.
Court clerk said today that they would not engage in that issue and that is something dad has to do or choose to pay his 50 % like he did.
So If I want to have all paperwork done properly, what are my options? Do I have to get at attorney to request that NCP completes our files at United Health care? do i have any other option?