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My son is 9 and his biological father was 100% absent until he was 8. Then with Covid 19, he started to see him on frequent basis. he was seeing him weekly which is what our visitation agreement say. From March to September, they had started to connect.There was a dead in his family at the end of September and that's when his father stopped visits and contact. I respected his need for space at the beginning. Then I started to get pissed. Anyway, besides therapy, has anyone found a solution to not caring about inconsistent visits?
I mean this is not good for my son but I am in two minds between closing the door and allowing these inconsitencies
tips? ideas?

thanks

My son's father was absent for most of my son's life. He started to spend time with my son since this pandemic affected us. But since they never developed a relationship, I was around them for most of the visits. I did try to have them alone so that they could connect. I would say that his father visited him about 6  times since March.
Well this weekend my son said that he does not like to hang out with his father.
He knows that his father is safe and he is not a bad guy but clearly,my son knows he was absent for so long and he has already established a solid relationship with my boyfriend.
I am trying to be understanding of everyone here.
First, my kid. He knows that we can't fight feelings and if he feels that he does not like to hang out with his father,then those are his true feelings and I want to acknowledge them.
Then, his father. he does know that my son sees my boyfriend as a father figure and he knows that my son is not ready to call him father.
At the moment, he does not know what my son shared with me.
Any advice on how to proceed.
we were used to being ignored or ghosted and now this is a new situation.
thanks

I am posting this here because all NCP has is visitation. But this really belong in the "immature" forum.
My son's father was a ghost for YEARS and within the last 2 months he started contact with me. My son is 7, he doesnt have a phone so all contact has to go through me.
He first texted me through a number that I didn't have on my contact lists and he said "don't use my other number".
I figured he had changed it.
One day I accidentally called the old number and I got to his voicemail so I guess his phone was active. A few days after that, his sister visited us and I she confirmed that the old number was active. I figured he has created a google number or skype number so that his wife would not have access to texts or calls he places. yeah he got married about 5 years ago and I got a letter from her attorney stating that my son can never visit his home. So clearly she knows he has a son. The biggest issue I had with the texts were most of the time non son related such as "have a great day", "good morning" etc.
Anyway, I sent NCP an email saying that we do not accept anymore calls from X number and he can contact me from his regular phone number. It was not a problem for him. He started sending the same type of messages by email and then he started calling but through Facetime which he turns off the video function when we pickup. So obviously, he is still trying to keep his phone activity at hidden level. Does this bother me? of course ! If he can't be mature enough to be open about having a son, why would I even expose my son to it?

NCP is almost 50. This type of behavior is unacceptable.
Am I wrong for wanting proper communication?
If my son can't get the respect he deserves, why bother?

Is there anything I can do about this?

My son is 7 years old and he has been raised solely by me .His father has ONLY visitation on Sundays that he never served. As we finish the 7th year, he started contact again but it is more annoying that beneficial. I mean how can he actually build a bond with the type of communication he establishes?

What do I call annoying?
sending me an email that does not address my son at all. Here is his message:

"Merry Christmas.  Hope u have a good day".

Also, on Saturday he sent mean email asking me to pick up a toy for my son at a Target near me.I am trying to be nice so I said "I don't mind picking it up but it might be better if I save it and you give it to him when you see ". He responded and he said he was going to let me know. I told him to let me know before 11 pm on Dec 24 as I was going to put all presents by the tree. He never did.

He only lives 58 miles away and yes, I don't expect me to make a complete change but what he is doing is not that positive either

any thoughts into this ?


I don't want to close the door but ...

so after 7 years of being a ghost, my son's father is trying to reconnect.
I have no problem with that but the way he is doing it is not even that beneficial to create a bond.
Example 1: he showed up at a soccer game but he didn't stay for the end so they really didn't talk.

example 2: he asked me to pick up from Target a gift for my son for Christmas. yeah great....Nut I told him it would mean more if he actually brings it over.

He lives 8 miles away but I don't see that he TRYING is trying enough.
do I just play along?
play it by ear?
ask for consistency?
thanks

My order was established when my son was a baby. It was never modified.
I was wondering if items like ONE sport per season ( equipment or uniform plus fees ) is something that people include on their order.
So far, we have done it without attorneys

I am trying to figure out if anything needs to be added.

thanks

Long story short, my son is 7 and I get child support since he was 2. I filed and neither I nor NCP paid attorneys. We just went by what the court ordered.
NCP has visitation on Sundays but he never serves it.
I am going through a life changing situation and I am having surgery soon. I needed to change my guardianship papers because the person who was listed (NCP sister) has already passed. I asked a parelagal about the fees to re do it and   she suggested reviewing my entire child support since it was never modified, not even to meet COLA standards. I asked her for the fees and she said "wait until we do a final search on the father and see if changes of work or anything else come up". well it turns out the NCP owns a yacht. It seems that he purchased it the same year my son was born. Yes, I know it does not affect the child support amount because his new wife could have bought it or it could be under her name. But it does hurt to see that it is all over social media and my son (who already knows about google can easily find it).  So since he just initiated contact again with me to see my son and see how things are going, I ended up asking him. He said "I don't own a yacht". I asked if his wide owned it and he continued to say no. It is all on social media but well....his words. I did bring up how I learned about it and I told him the truth: the paralegal insisted that for a man who lives where he lives, the amount I was getting was too little and they did some research.
I made it clear that I had not agreed to file for a modification and I only wanted to know the truth. But he got on the defensive side and he said he was going to talk to an attorney even though he tried hard for these 7 years to avoid spending money on one.

anyway, long story to ask, shall I be worried? he can talk to an attorney but there is nothing he can do to lower child support (I think). I make the same income plus standard raise. He can never say that I m an unfit mother.
so, is there anything he can do EVEN if HE TALKS TO AN ATTORNEY?Shall i just chill and continue with our own lives?
thanks

My son is 7 and I have full and sole custody. His father has visitation every Sunday but he never served it.
it was granted two years ago.
Shall I leave things the way they are or go to court to have it removed completely?
Let's say that he spent 3 hours with his son in 7 years over a period of 8 visits.

I had a lovely son in 2011 while not being married to his biological father and as soon as my son was born, I requested child support but I never thought of custody since having my last name and no contact with dad, I didn't think I needed to.
We had a lot of medical bills from out of network that between bio dad insurance and mine, I could have received 90 % back but each reimbursement bio dad received (for money I had paid), never came to me but to him and I never saw it. Legal aid at court suggested filing for custody so that bio dad insurance would have papers indicating that the reimbursements needed to come to custodial parent.
In 2015 I filed for sole custody (allowing visitation) and requested bio dad to pay his unpaid 50 % of medical bills. we had a meditation. Father never showed up.
I went to court in January and father did not show up.I had spoken to him before going to court and he had said that he was going to call court and ask for continuance on the day of court as he had an important work commitment. I was at court and the clerk expressed precisely the same. The judge called me and she realized that there was a child support petition (unpaid medical bills) so she said that I needed to go to another court for that (the one where we have alwayts gone to for support)  and that the clerk was going to give me the new court date. Judge was ready to dismiss me and I reminded her that I was also filing for custody and she said that the entire case was moved to the other court house.
I was dismissed and I was given the time and date to go back to court in March.
March arrived and for the first time, the timing was not goof for me so I told bio dad that I was going to call and ask for continuance. I did call at 8 am on the day of our court date and to my surprise, the clerk told me that the judge back in January did issue a ruling and she had given me full sole custody and zero visitation to dad .
I was speechless
I am not mad but I found it odd that she would dismiss me and then there is a ruling and neither father not mother have a copy of it.
Does this often happen?
I was told to go back to the courthouse and request a copy
I won't be able to go until After April 12 and since I don't have a parenting plan, it doesn't affect my daily like at all but I am just surprised at the whole thing
Could it be that the judge simply saw no biological father present and she ended up making up her decision?
any thoughts?
could father question the validity of this?
I doubt he will

I posted a day ago about what to expect at a court hearing for custody.Right  after my post, I received a text from bio father asking me to cancel my petition for sole custody or to postpone it as he can't make it (he has to work). He didn't show to the mediation appointment also because of work.I work too and I took time off for the mediation appointment and I was planning on taking time off for the court date.
He does not want court to decide on sole custody or not and he wants "us" to talk. My son is 4 1/2 and I have been giving this man opportunities to talk since I was pregnant and opportunities to spend time with his son. My first response to his text was "I will think about it but I don't think I can cancel with two day notice".I thought I Had to go and show up and ask to postpone it. Bio father kept engaging in texting all weekend and he keeps saying he will change things around etc etc.
it was nerve-racking. I ended up saying that today.I told him I was very disappointed and I was not sure what I was going to do. His last text said that if I postpone the date or go ahead with court, he will stop handling things personally and he will send an attorney to all hearing and have "no personal involvement".
I am getting child support but this was my first time filing for custody and granting him visitation (that he never used). he spent less than an hour in 4 1/2 years with my son.he only made the effort of "visiting" him because he wanted to swab him for a DNA test.
My options now are :
1. not show up and forget about this and continue to receive child support.My kid has my last name so it doesn't affect me much
2. show up on Wednesday and see what the judge says.
3. show up on wed and ask to postpone it
4.Any other option?

For now, I have decided not to respond to any other text from father
I would LOVE any input as I doubt I can take time off on Monday or Tuesday to see an attorney since court date is Wed

My son is 4 and I have been receiving child support since he was 9 months but I never filed for Custody. he has my last name and bio father and I were never married.

We have a court date coming up and I am wondering what the process is like since I never went to a court date. So far everything was handled by Los Angeles child support system without us being present because none iof us questioned the state mandated child support amount.

So this is our first time. Do we see a clerk first or do we go directly to judge? is it a room where we are alone or do all people with same appointment wait there?

Bio father did not go to mediadtion appointment so I don't know if judge will grant my request for sole custody based on that fact and the fact he only saw his son for 1 hour in these 4 1/2 years or if he will really listen to what father has to say. I also filed it in a way that gives father visitation hours so that they can bond.

can I reject a decision the judge makes (if it is against what I filed for)? can I say that I need time to think about it?

thanks

someone told me that if you file for full custody, you lose child support.Is this accurate?
I do get child support and my son has my name but I never filed for custody
Now we have a court date soon.
Dad only spent 30 minutes with child since he has born in 2011. Dad lives 60 miles away and he has never made any parenting decision.
If I lose child support, then I will re think it

My son is 4 and he has spent an hour with his bio dad. I filed for child support as soon as my son was boren but I neber filed for custody.My son has my last name and father is not mentioned in any legal document.
I had issues with reimbursements from some medical expenses where I could have easily received 90 % out of $2000 but because dad did not do his part and his insurance does not have a custody order, I can't receive the money.
so that triggered the request.
dad was served.
he texted and he said he can't take the day off.
he also said "I am a better dad" and he thinks all I need is his insurance and child support.
not true
I have tried and tried to have him around
He acts as if I had offended him when in reality the ones person who was offended here is my son.
so what shall I expect?
our mediation appointment is on Monday
if he doesnt show, is this moved to another date? will they make decisions wihut him being present?

I went to court today and the main goal was to get these issues of QMCSO fixed but it didn't happen.This is the story.
My son gets insurance from NCP and from me. His father 's was the primary and mine secondary. We had $ 2000 on out of network expenses that I paid. I filed a claim with his insurance and they were all approved and paid and the money was sent to a POBOX in Florida that deals with QMCSOs. It is stuck there and it has never been released to me, the parent that paid them.United Health care (dad s insurance) says that subscriber (NCP) needs to contact them and his HR and hs garnishment department to get all straighten out and to complete the file that according to them, is incomplete. Between feb and May 2015 I have sent NCP several emails and letters requesting his collaboration. he never helped so court clerk prepared all paperwork to have him be responsible for 50 % of ther $2000.
I had hoped that the motion will make NCP fix the issues .
it wasn't the case. Today at court he aggred to pay his 50 % instead of having UHC sent the money .
It is hard to understand as I know he lives pay check to pay check.
For me, it also sucks as I get more money out of the 2000 I paid if dad sends me the EOB and the reimbursements and then my insurance can reimburse part of the balance. So instead of 50 %, I would get 95 %.But dad chose not to collaborate for who knows what reasons.
My fear is that if we go through a simialr situation in the future (kid is 4 so chances are we will see a lot of more doctors), I will have to do all this work again: contact dad, see no collaboration, see a court facilitator, prepare paperwork, file a motion, go to court (which means taking a day off) and blah  blah blah.
Court clerk said today that they would not engage in that issue and that is something dad has to do or choose to pay his 50 % like he did.
So If I want to have all paperwork done properly, what are my options? Do I have to get at attorney to request that NCP completes our files at United Health care? do i have any other option?
thanks

My son is almost 4 and as of now, I have a child support court order but not custody. I was never married to the father and father is married. My son has my last name.
I have an open door policy with bio dad but he does not use it.He lives 60 miles away and he has driven to see his son just once, three months after he was born and ONLY because it was cheaper to get a DNA test that he bought and not a court ordered one. he has seen his son  maybe another 4 times but ONLY because I was near his location and he agreed to a 5 minute "visitation".
His wife had an attorney sent me a letter to put boundaries right away and her attorney asked that no calls are done at home and that I can only contact his husband directly on her phone.So basically it has been very clear that there is no involvement.
I would love for the situation to be different but this is how it is.
so what is the point of filing for custody? shall I do it? shall I leave things as they are?

I posted before and now I have better info on this issue.
I spent $2000 on out of network medical sessions for my son. I sent claims to NCP insurance in 3 bulks. His insurance sent an inituial reimbursement for $400 and they kept telling me for almost two months that it was sent as direct deposit to NCP. NCP kept saying he never received the money. It wasn't until 2 or 3 weeks ago that the provider received a call for the last claim I sent and she knew about my entire ordeal with reimbursements so she asked what was going on and the insurance compnay told her that the funds were not sent to NCP but to a child support collection agency in florida. FYI my case is in CA.
Last week I received the explanation of benefits through the local child support agency so yes, provider was right. The EOB and funds were sent to a POBOX in Florida and they forwarded part of the claim to our local agency in CA.
I have been calling the case manager in CA since Friday and finally I spoke with someone today Tuesday. They said they have no records of a payment received from an insurance compnay.They told me to get more info from insurance compnay which I did and the insurance is not telling me anything (no ref number etc etc). They just say that they can't check if it eas cashed or not as it was sent as direct deposit.
If it weas just $400 , I would drop this and period.But there are 2 more payments coming and they are both higher than that.
Has anyone been in a similar odd and crazy situation?
In the meantime, I have sent the EOB to my own insurance which is my son's secondary and they reimbursed me already
any tips?
thanks

I have a 3 1/2 year old who spends zero time with NCP. Our initial order was done 6 months after my son was born and I was on a reduced salary and rediced hours and childcare was never factored in (december 20111) .I filed in 2013 a request to add childcare to our court order as it was a mistake not to add it right away. It was granted as I need child care to take care of my son while I work and the mo thly child support was lowered a little as I was making more than when the initial order was done but NCP was asked to pay 50 % of child care.It was great as most of the money really goes there.
In 2014 I got an extra part-time job and I took it, knowing that most of the income was going to end in child care.It is a great opportunity that I can't pass as it might give me better job prospects in the future. I told NCP in case he wanted to take me to court to reduce his amount.I was honest and I told him that I am not really making that much more as I spend the money on a nanny that comes home in the evening. I gave it a try. Now that I am taking the same job for march to June, I am thinking about going back to court and requesting to add a shared amount of that extra child care feeks. It will be around $ 450 per month. I run the risk of getting my monthly support lowered as my taxes will showed that I made more in 2014.I made more because I chose to work on my vacation which meant that I made more but my son ended up in child care for 11 months per year and not 10 like the court order says. So NCP paid for 10 months at $ 880 each while I ended up not getting any support for that extra month my son atended.The same with the extra job. On papers, it looks like in 2014 I made a total of an extra 18,000 but W2 forms will not show how much wa sspent on child care for work.
Now I was also told that I need 5 classes to cleared my licence and be able to work (total cost $ 3000). So even though I make more, I will have work related expenses.
Do I make a case to add a shared portion of the extra child care?
will the judge (or the NCP attorney) consider the facts that more money is spent on child care and more money needs to be spent on schooling to keep a job?
any tips?

 am going nuts here. how do you deal with communication?

my ex spends zero time with son so we don't need to communicate about visitation or picking up and et cetc.

We don't have a parenting agreement and we don't have a custody order.

We separated when i was pregnant and my son has my last name.
I filed for child support and I get child support plus bio dad insurance and mine.

So far, we never needed communication but I went way beyond and above keeping him posted and sending photos and videos.

Now I need communication as we are using an out of network provider for weekly sessions and this will be on going for at least 4 months or perhaps 6 months. We both have PPO plans and I was told by his insurance (he is primary) that I get a 70 % reimbursement and unlimited sessions. Same with my plan but they need the EOB from primary to pick up the balance.

I went ahead and started sessions for my son. I filed claims. I am caught between what the insurance representative tells me and what bio dad tells me.

Insurance: claim was processed, EOB posted, check sent to subscriber electronically.

Bio dad: money never received, insurance keeps the claim open as they need proof of payment and he added I needed to send him all cancelled checks (front and back). Insurance has claims under my son;s lastname and under his last name, blah blah blah. Bottom line he wanted me to send him all cancelled checks even though not even the insurance asked for them as they have bills from provider that says "PAID".

Bottom line: I asked him if his attorney, him or the insurance company needed those checks and he said the insurance.I went ahead and prepared a print out of all 19 checks and i sent them.Some were for the first claim which is sessions in 2014 and some for the new claim.yes, i sent it to the insurance.I added a clear noyte stating that i was writing on my son's behalf, that I was told one thing by the representative but another thing by the subscriber so in order to be safe, i was sending them evidence.



I emailed dad from an account i created ONLY for him to communicate about my son, or our son. I told him what was done and that he needed to follow up.

not even a short message saying "I will".

In the meantime, money keeps coming out of my pocket daily. Insurance sends money back to him.

we are stuck and I dont know how many more sessions I can afford before something starts coming back.

I was lucky to get a PDF file from bio dad with the EOB of first claim so that as sent to my insurance

but in general, how do you deal with communication???

non custodial parent is supposed to pay %50  of "reasonable uninsured health cost".
it seems that we both disagree on what it means
would it include meds?
would it include first aid or over the counte rif the kid has a rash?
would it include expesive parking fees at dr offices where therer is no street parking? we have 3 parking fees of $18 each

My ex had paid zero bills from 2014 and by court order, he shouold pay 50 %.
The biggest issue I have right now is with out of network expenses that I paid. Any help on this? here is the situation:
My son receives weekly medical sessions. His dad and I have no parenting plan and no custody so techincally speaking, he may ask about services my son gets and I would respond but he never inquiries. I do keep him posted but he never responds so he has no saying now in questioning this.
Out of all the sessions I paid in 2014, I sent a claim to his insurance (which is primary for my son)  after checking with them what they allowed us to do. I knew I had 70 % reimbursement. So I gather the 5 bills from 2014 and I sent the claim. it weas processed right away and they issued a check for $ 500 that they sent electronically to him, the insuranced person. I understand that, no complaints. I told him that he was going to receive the money. When I knew it was done, I asked him to please check his mail and he said he had not received anything. I called the insurance to see if they could send it to the provider and they told me : (1) no, (2) the check was sent electronically and then yes, I was furious.
I sent an email again and I told him that I can't afford more session unless I start getting something back and I told him that rgardless of the money (which could have been lost and he might have to ask them to re issue a check) , I needed the explanation of benegits (which was online) so that I could forward a cliam to my insurace for the remaining balance. It took him 10 days to send that to me and he finally did it late on friday and with the long weekend, I wont be able to send it until Tuesday 18th. I might have to stop my on's treatment un til some money comes back.It is not life threatening so i wont get a court order.
The issue is that this will be on going for at least 6 months.I would hate to kkeep fighting about this.
I am also trying not to spend money on an attorney
how bad would it look if I write a letter to his attorney?
any other option?
FYI, I have never used name calling or anything crazy so he can't accused me of anything. I have not called him or bothered him in any way.
he received a certified letter from me explaning all this.
Also, if he doesnt reimburse me for anything, I guess my other option is sending him all bills for him to pay his 50 % but I would still get less money than going through primary and secondary insurance



this is out of network.I payed upfront. it is not a dr billing the insurance.it is a dr billing me, i pay at the end of each session. The 500 reimbursement is for 2014 and I just submitted a claim for $ 850 and I should get a 70 % of that. I  send all claims to his  insurance gives me 70 %. I also need from bio dad the explanation of benefits so that I can send the claim to my insurance. Basically if he would collaborate, I would end up paying a % 5

My ex had paid zero bills from 2014 and by court order, he shouold pay 50 %.
The biggest issue I have right now is with out of network expenses that I paid. Any help on this? here is the situation:
My son receives weekly medical sessions. His dad and I have no parenting plan and no custody so techincally speaking, he may ask about services my son gets and I would respond but he never inquiries. I do keep him posted but he never responds so he has no saying now in questioning this.
Out of all the sessions I paid in 2014, I sent a claim to his insurance (which is primary for my son)  after checking with them what they allowed us to do. I knew I had 70 % reimbursement. So I gather the 5 bills from 2014 and I sent the claim. it weas processed right away and they issued a check for $ 500 that they sent electronically to him, the insuranced person. I understand that, no complaints. I told him that he was going to receive the money. When I knew it was done, I asked him to please check his mail and he said he had not received anything. I called the insurance to see if they could send it to the provider and they told me : (1) no, (2) the check was sent electronically and then yes, I was furious.
I sent an email again and I told him that I can't afford more session unless I start getting something back and I told him that rgardless of the money (which could have been lost and he might have to ask them to re issue a check) , I needed the explanation of benegits (which was online) so that I could forward a cliam to my insurace for the remaining balance. It took him 10 days to send that to me and he finally did it late on friday and with the long weekend, I wont be able to send it until Tuesday 18th. I might have to stop my on's treatment un til some money comes back.It is not life threatening so i wont get a court order.
The issue is that this will be on going for at least 6 months.I would hate to kkeep fighting about this.
I am also trying not to spend money on an attorney
how bad would it look if I write a letter to his attorney?
any other option?
FYI, I have never used name calling or anything crazy so he can't accused me of anything. I have not called him or bothered him in any way.
he received a certified letter from me explaning all this.
Also, if he doesnt reimburse me for anything, I guess my other option is sending him all bills for him to pay his 50 % but I would still get less money than going through primary and secondary insurance



this is out of network.I payed upfront. it is not a dr billing the insurance.it is a dr billing me, i pay at the end of each session. The 500 reimbursement is for 2014 and I just submitted a claim for $ 850 and I should get a 70 % of that. I  send all claims to his  insurance gives me 70 %. I also need from bio dad the explanation of benefits so that I can send the claim to my insurance. Basically if he would collaborate, I would end up paying a % 5

My son has my last name and I was not married to his dad. Bio dad pays chi;ld support and we have an open door policy.Eben his entire family visits my son. I believe that technically speaking, I have full custody but I know as my son gets older, he may have extra curricular activities and dad may or may not want to pay and without a parenting plan, he has no saying. Also, dad is supposed to pat for 50 % of out of pocket expenses and i WOULD HAVE TO be in court filing for reimbursement just because he does not think that something was necessary.
so I am considering filing for custody/ visitation so that everything is in writing. Should I? should I not? why? why not?
i don't think dad wants overnight visitation or long stretches of visitation so I don't think he will go for this just to lower child support.

I just realized that bio dad did lie about how he files. On our hearing, he said that even though he is now married, he files individually. Does this lie affect the amount he is supposed to pay?

I filed for a child support modification in december based on the fact that child care and out of pocket medical expenses were never factored in. Neither my job or his have changed.He still has no other kids and I was hoping that it was going to be quite simple. First court date: he requested an extension to address this with a 30 m free consultation with an attorney/
Second appointyment is this week. Foutr business days before our hearing, bio dad sent me through his attorny a request to release documents (same documents I was going to take to court) and extend the date to anotjher heating in June as they understand I wont have time to gather my papers. His attorny would not represent him at the hearing. So I would hate to waste time this week, taking a day off work, dropping my son extra early to be at court and paying extra to drop him off earlier and just waste hours to get a new date. I called the court today and they told me I needed to call at 8 am and explained this situation and they would give me a new court date. Does this sound right? I would hate to look bad just because I was given wrong info.

the other question I have is why his attorny is asking for more than what court asks. They want copies of my bank account for the last 24 months. Do they think I have another source of income? I dont have issues getting all those papers but it seems more than what the chuild support agency asks for.The court asks for laast 2 pay stubs.His attorny wants last 6. I dont have money to pay an attorney.Do I have the right to request that he releases the same info he is asking me to release?
thanks

we went to court as I filed for a modification of child support to include shared childcare and medical fees. what did bio dad do? request an extension so we now have another court day in late April.
he knew we had a court hearing and I don't understand why he didn't consult with an attorney before that court date. Now his argument is that he needs to consult with an attorney.
I have no clue what he is trying to do. I don't know if he is trying to get his finances ready, or to screw me up or what. I have never changed jobs so I make the same I was making when I filed the initial request in 2011. he works at the same place so he makes the same or slightly more. he could have had some tax issues or some jobs here amd there that he may not report.
so why would he request an extension? do I need to get an attorney now ?

I filed for a child support modification to include shared childcare and shared medical expenses. The court date is Feb 5 and he wasn't served yet. I know he wasn't served because he has been texting me and he has not mentioned it at all. He is the kind of person who would get furious about something like this so I am positive he doesnt know yet.
Can the Los Angeles court change the date? can they still see me and my financial statement without him showing up?
I am taking time off work and I'd hate to go again and again and again

When our order was done, I never went to court and I had decided at that time to stay home instead of going back to work and leaving a premature child in the hands of a stranger. Therefore, childcare was never added to the amount the state figured as child support. This was done late in 2012. Now I have the same job I had when I filed and I probably make $ 2000 more per year and the father has the same job and if there is an increase , it is probably minimum.
I filed to request shared child care and shared medical expenses. Where I live, child care is about $ 1000 per month and I have a $ 20 and $ 30 co pay per visits and high percent on lab work etc etc. Right now I stopped sending my son to speech therapy as I can't afford the fees and we have a bill from a hospital for $ 400.
What are my chances of getting shared child care added?
what are my chances of getting less in monthly child support ? because as I said earlier I get an extra $ 2000 per year.
The father situation seems to be the same as before: own a house, no other kids, same job

I am completely new to this forum and I'd appreciate some non  legal help or help coming from parents, not from an attorney.
I have a son who has my last name as his bio dad was completely absent at the time of his birth. We were not married.
I filed for child support through the state agency and I never filed for custody.
My son sees his paternal relatives but he rarely sees his bio dad. let's say that in 2 1/2 years he saw his father 3 or 4 times and perhaps 2 of those were times I drove my son closer to his father who lives 66 miles away from us.
Father knows he has 100 % access to his son but I guess he is just not into being a father. He likes to receive updates and that's about it.
I didn't bother with child custody at first as my son is only 2 and he didn't really know what was going on. Since my son interacts with his aunties and grandfather, at some point the questions will start and here's my question:
shall I file for custody?
I am open to his father getting visitation.I am open to anything.I just don't know if he will request it.
Also, what are the advantages of filing for custody?
thanks
In case the state is relevant, we are in CA