Messages

My son is almost 4 and as of now, I have a child support court order but not custody. I was never married to the father and father is married. My son has my last name.
I have an open door policy with bio dad but he does not use it.He lives 60 miles away and he has driven to see his son just once, three months after he was born and ONLY because it was cheaper to get a DNA test that he bought and not a court ordered one. he has seen his son  maybe another 4 times but ONLY because I was near his location and he agreed to a 5 minute "visitation".
His wife had an attorney sent me a letter to put boundaries right away and her attorney asked that no calls are done at home and that I can only contact his husband directly on her phone.So basically it has been very clear that there is no involvement.
I would love for the situation to be different but this is how it is.
so what is the point of filing for custody? shall I do it? shall I leave things as they are?

I posted before and now I have better info on this issue.
I spent $2000 on out of network medical sessions for my son. I sent claims to NCP insurance in 3 bulks. His insurance sent an inituial reimbursement for $400 and they kept telling me for almost two months that it was sent as direct deposit to NCP. NCP kept saying he never received the money. It wasn't until 2 or 3 weeks ago that the provider received a call for the last claim I sent and she knew about my entire ordeal with reimbursements so she asked what was going on and the insurance compnay told her that the funds were not sent to NCP but to a child support collection agency in florida. FYI my case is in CA.
Last week I received the explanation of benefits through the local child support agency so yes, provider was right. The EOB and funds were sent to a POBOX in Florida and they forwarded part of the claim to our local agency in CA.
I have been calling the case manager in CA since Friday and finally I spoke with someone today Tuesday. They said they have no records of a payment received from an insurance compnay.They told me to get more info from insurance compnay which I did and the insurance is not telling me anything (no ref number etc etc). They just say that they can't check if it eas cashed or not as it was sent as direct deposit.
If it weas just $400 , I would drop this and period.But there are 2 more payments coming and they are both higher than that.
Has anyone been in a similar odd and crazy situation?
In the meantime, I have sent the EOB to my own insurance which is my son's secondary and they reimbursed me already
any tips?
thanks

I have a 3 1/2 year old who spends zero time with NCP. Our initial order was done 6 months after my son was born and I was on a reduced salary and rediced hours and childcare was never factored in (december 20111) .I filed in 2013 a request to add childcare to our court order as it was a mistake not to add it right away. It was granted as I need child care to take care of my son while I work and the mo thly child support was lowered a little as I was making more than when the initial order was done but NCP was asked to pay 50 % of child care.It was great as most of the money really goes there.
In 2014 I got an extra part-time job and I took it, knowing that most of the income was going to end in child care.It is a great opportunity that I can't pass as it might give me better job prospects in the future. I told NCP in case he wanted to take me to court to reduce his amount.I was honest and I told him that I am not really making that much more as I spend the money on a nanny that comes home in the evening. I gave it a try. Now that I am taking the same job for march to June, I am thinking about going back to court and requesting to add a shared amount of that extra child care feeks. It will be around $ 450 per month. I run the risk of getting my monthly support lowered as my taxes will showed that I made more in 2014.I made more because I chose to work on my vacation which meant that I made more but my son ended up in child care for 11 months per year and not 10 like the court order says. So NCP paid for 10 months at $ 880 each while I ended up not getting any support for that extra month my son atended.The same with the extra job. On papers, it looks like in 2014 I made a total of an extra 18,000 but W2 forms will not show how much wa sspent on child care for work.
Now I was also told that I need 5 classes to cleared my licence and be able to work (total cost $ 3000). So even though I make more, I will have work related expenses.
Do I make a case to add a shared portion of the extra child care?
will the judge (or the NCP attorney) consider the facts that more money is spent on child care and more money needs to be spent on schooling to keep a job?
any tips?

 am going nuts here. how do you deal with communication?

my ex spends zero time with son so we don't need to communicate about visitation or picking up and et cetc.

We don't have a parenting agreement and we don't have a custody order.

We separated when i was pregnant and my son has my last name.
I filed for child support and I get child support plus bio dad insurance and mine.

So far, we never needed communication but I went way beyond and above keeping him posted and sending photos and videos.

Now I need communication as we are using an out of network provider for weekly sessions and this will be on going for at least 4 months or perhaps 6 months. We both have PPO plans and I was told by his insurance (he is primary) that I get a 70 % reimbursement and unlimited sessions. Same with my plan but they need the EOB from primary to pick up the balance.

I went ahead and started sessions for my son. I filed claims. I am caught between what the insurance representative tells me and what bio dad tells me.

Insurance: claim was processed, EOB posted, check sent to subscriber electronically.

Bio dad: money never received, insurance keeps the claim open as they need proof of payment and he added I needed to send him all cancelled checks (front and back). Insurance has claims under my son;s lastname and under his last name, blah blah blah. Bottom line he wanted me to send him all cancelled checks even though not even the insurance asked for them as they have bills from provider that says "PAID".

Bottom line: I asked him if his attorney, him or the insurance company needed those checks and he said the insurance.I went ahead and prepared a print out of all 19 checks and i sent them.Some were for the first claim which is sessions in 2014 and some for the new claim.yes, i sent it to the insurance.I added a clear noyte stating that i was writing on my son's behalf, that I was told one thing by the representative but another thing by the subscriber so in order to be safe, i was sending them evidence.



I emailed dad from an account i created ONLY for him to communicate about my son, or our son. I told him what was done and that he needed to follow up.

not even a short message saying "I will".

In the meantime, money keeps coming out of my pocket daily. Insurance sends money back to him.

we are stuck and I dont know how many more sessions I can afford before something starts coming back.

I was lucky to get a PDF file from bio dad with the EOB of first claim so that as sent to my insurance

but in general, how do you deal with communication???

non custodial parent is supposed to pay %50  of "reasonable uninsured health cost".
it seems that we both disagree on what it means
would it include meds?
would it include first aid or over the counte rif the kid has a rash?
would it include expesive parking fees at dr offices where therer is no street parking? we have 3 parking fees of $18 each

provider can't bill insurance first for me to pay the balance as this is out of network.
We do the billing as you suggested with all providers and having primary and secondary means we usually have zero balance or a dollar here and there.So I don't even need to bill dad for his 50 %. I do have however about $ 350 out of network that he owes for 2014.
Now the biggest chunk and the one that will be ongoing are these sessions I have been claiming.
I can try a second certified letter
thanks

My ex had paid zero bills from 2014 and by court order, he shouold pay 50 %.
The biggest issue I have right now is with out of network expenses that I paid. Any help on this? here is the situation:
My son receives weekly medical sessions. His dad and I have no parenting plan and no custody so techincally speaking, he may ask about services my son gets and I would respond but he never inquiries. I do keep him posted but he never responds so he has no saying now in questioning this.
Out of all the sessions I paid in 2014, I sent a claim to his insurance (which is primary for my son)  after checking with them what they allowed us to do. I knew I had 70 % reimbursement. So I gather the 5 bills from 2014 and I sent the claim. it weas processed right away and they issued a check for $ 500 that they sent electronically to him, the insuranced person. I understand that, no complaints. I told him that he was going to receive the money. When I knew it was done, I asked him to please check his mail and he said he had not received anything. I called the insurance to see if they could send it to the provider and they told me : (1) no, (2) the check was sent electronically and then yes, I was furious.
I sent an email again and I told him that I can't afford more session unless I start getting something back and I told him that rgardless of the money (which could have been lost and he might have to ask them to re issue a check) , I needed the explanation of benegits (which was online) so that I could forward a cliam to my insurace for the remaining balance. It took him 10 days to send that to me and he finally did it late on friday and with the long weekend, I wont be able to send it until Tuesday 18th. I might have to stop my on's treatment un til some money comes back.It is not life threatening so i wont get a court order.
The issue is that this will be on going for at least 6 months.I would hate to kkeep fighting about this.
I am also trying not to spend money on an attorney
how bad would it look if I write a letter to his attorney?
any other option?
FYI, I have never used name calling or anything crazy so he can't accused me of anything. I have not called him or bothered him in any way.
he received a certified letter from me explaning all this.
Also, if he doesnt reimburse me for anything, I guess my other option is sending him all bills for him to pay his 50 % but I would still get less money than going through primary and secondary insurance



this is out of network.I payed upfront. it is not a dr billing the insurance.it is a dr billing me, i pay at the end of each session. The 500 reimbursement is for 2014 and I just submitted a claim for $ 850 and I should get a 70 % of that. I  send all claims to his  insurance gives me 70 %. I also need from bio dad the explanation of benefits so that I can send the claim to my insurance. Basically if he would collaborate, I would end up paying a % 5

My ex had paid zero bills from 2014 and by court order, he shouold pay 50 %.
The biggest issue I have right now is with out of network expenses that I paid. Any help on this? here is the situation:
My son receives weekly medical sessions. His dad and I have no parenting plan and no custody so techincally speaking, he may ask about services my son gets and I would respond but he never inquiries. I do keep him posted but he never responds so he has no saying now in questioning this.
Out of all the sessions I paid in 2014, I sent a claim to his insurance (which is primary for my son)  after checking with them what they allowed us to do. I knew I had 70 % reimbursement. So I gather the 5 bills from 2014 and I sent the claim. it weas processed right away and they issued a check for $ 500 that they sent electronically to him, the insuranced person. I understand that, no complaints. I told him that he was going to receive the money. When I knew it was done, I asked him to please check his mail and he said he had not received anything. I called the insurance to see if they could send it to the provider and they told me : (1) no, (2) the check was sent electronically and then yes, I was furious.
I sent an email again and I told him that I can't afford more session unless I start getting something back and I told him that rgardless of the money (which could have been lost and he might have to ask them to re issue a check) , I needed the explanation of benegits (which was online) so that I could forward a cliam to my insurace for the remaining balance. It took him 10 days to send that to me and he finally did it late on friday and with the long weekend, I wont be able to send it until Tuesday 18th. I might have to stop my on's treatment un til some money comes back.It is not life threatening so i wont get a court order.
The issue is that this will be on going for at least 6 months.I would hate to kkeep fighting about this.
I am also trying not to spend money on an attorney
how bad would it look if I write a letter to his attorney?
any other option?
FYI, I have never used name calling or anything crazy so he can't accused me of anything. I have not called him or bothered him in any way.
he received a certified letter from me explaning all this.
Also, if he doesnt reimburse me for anything, I guess my other option is sending him all bills for him to pay his 50 % but I would still get less money than going through primary and secondary insurance



this is out of network.I payed upfront. it is not a dr billing the insurance.it is a dr billing me, i pay at the end of each session. The 500 reimbursement is for 2014 and I just submitted a claim for $ 850 and I should get a 70 % of that. I  send all claims to his  insurance gives me 70 %. I also need from bio dad the explanation of benefits so that I can send the claim to my insurance. Basically if he would collaborate, I would end up paying a % 5

My son has my last name and I was not married to his dad. Bio dad pays chi;ld support and we have an open door policy.Eben his entire family visits my son. I believe that technically speaking, I have full custody but I know as my son gets older, he may have extra curricular activities and dad may or may not want to pay and without a parenting plan, he has no saying. Also, dad is supposed to pat for 50 % of out of pocket expenses and i WOULD HAVE TO be in court filing for reimbursement just because he does not think that something was necessary.
so I am considering filing for custody/ visitation so that everything is in writing. Should I? should I not? why? why not?
i don't think dad wants overnight visitation or long stretches of visitation so I don't think he will go for this just to lower child support.

I just realized that bio dad did lie about how he files. On our hearing, he said that even though he is now married, he files individually. Does this lie affect the amount he is supposed to pay?