costody right

[larryg]

hi all,i am a new user here. i am looking for advice concerning costody of my son . his mother and i where never married.she left when he was about a 1 1/2 old and he has been with me for 9yrs.she has been getting visitaion on weekends and holidays.now that he is older she is trying to get me to let him live with her. saying that he wants to goto school with his brother.which is not my son so thier for it tech.is step brother.he is 5yrs older n he is not in the same grad level.so this is her reason for him to be with her. i am concerned about her trying for costody.should i file for costody first.thier where no problems in the past over this matter but its gettibg worse.i let her see him every weekend  and share holidays.is this fair? and she pays no childsupport n i dont ask her to. i have been the primary care figure for him all these yrs but i am worried about lossing him in court any help or suggestions?    

[ocean]

Do you have any court papers regarding custody at all? How far apart are you two now? Depending on your answers we can help you more.  :)

[larryg]

thxs for a respons no  niether of us have any papers it just been this way.she recently moved to PA  maybe 1yr or 6month.she use to live in MD which is where i live currently.  

[MYSONSDAD]

March your butt to the county courthouse and file ASAP. Then start getting your documents together showing that your son has been in YOUR care. School, medical records and anything else that comes to mind.

MD will have jurisdiction.

"Children learn what they live"

[larryg]

oky thxs for the input.should i get a lawyer before i go file for temp custody or after.dose it matter? as far as i understand the parent that files for temp custody first will get it till court hearing. is this true or false? cuase i plan on filing for it monday morning

[joni]

get a lawyer

[larryg]

wont it take a lawyer a few days to file temp custody? i am thinking of filing for it then get a lawyer  to handel the case but at least i will have custody to keep her from it first.

[ocean]

I am with you on this one...but you will have to say why you want an immediate temporary hearing...(like you fear mom will keep son after her weekend...).   You can go to a FAMILY lawyer on Monday and they can either do it for you or you can tell them to tell you exactly what to write down. "I have been child's only care giver, attends school in MD, have family here, visits with mom never a problem, i keep mom informed of all school and medical decisions." You will also have to come up with a detailed visitation plan that you want including holiday's and summers. It can be " we will continue the pattern of the last __ years. It will be as follows:______. " Since she is out of state, that is a plus for right now. You NEED to do this ASAP. If she does not have vistation until the weekend...you have 5 days to do this :) Do you think she is serious about filing before you? If you do go in with this, CS should be discussed as well. Let the lawyer take care. Good luck and let us know what happens! We all learn from everyones stories!

[larryg]

you hit the nail on the head.that is exactly what i am fearing that she will not return him on sunday.i will know for sure if she dont bring him back tonight.weather she will fight for custody hard to say but she knows i wont let him live with her.she asked me firday night after she got him.actually she had him call n ask if he could live with her.before she picked him up he said nothing was happy n outside playin. i have talked to lawyers in the past n CS is a given even if party dont want it. thxs for your advice.

[LizaLou1]

I suggest file yourself Monday as planned.  Then get the lawyer.  Sometimes it takes days to weeks before an attorney get documents filed.  Your attorney can amend your filing IF necessary, otherwise, he can pickup where you left off.

LizaLou