Send this letter (suitably modified to fit your circumstances) via Registered Mail to any and all healthcare providers that treat your children. Edit the information in [brackets] to specify the child's name, whether you are the mother or the father, the doctor's name(s) and any other situation-specific particulars.
If you are the one carrying the insurance for the child, you have some leverage. You can often get positive results if your child is under Medical Care and you are the one paying. In other words, the insurance company has access to all those records and if you are a parent PAYING them, you will get results, depending on how you handle the issue with them.
If therapy or continuing care is an issue and you are not included or allowed to participate as a parent, you can make an issue of it with the therapist. Inform the therapist by registered letter that you will notify the insurance company of the refusal of a parent to be involved. Also state that "in the best interests of the child" they will either allow you access to the information you are requesting or you will have the insurance company stop payment further payments. The insurance company is one organization that the doctor wants to stay on the good side of, and incidents like this can affect how the insurance company processes his claims in the future.
Also let the doctor know that, "if necessary", you will also lodge a complaint to the ethics board or governing body that he reports to. (Psychiatrists are governed by the American Psychiatric Association, psychologists must abide by the ethical guidelines used by the American Psychological Association, and so on.) A complaint can also be lodged with Human Services if the situation warrannts it. Don't forget the clinic or hospital director, if one exists. The more heat you can bring to bear, the better.
Month, Day, 20XX
City State Zip
To Whom It May Concern:
Please accept this letter as a formal request for any and all medical information regarding my biological [son/daughter], [child's name]. I would like this letter to be entered into [child's name]’s permanent medical record. As there is no court order barring me from contact with my [son/daughter] and I have always tried to be an involved [father/mother], I am exercising my rights under state and federal law to have full, unhindered access to my [son/daughter]’s medical information
In accordance with state and federal law, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to ask permission from anyone to let me see [child's name]’s records or be involved in [his/her] medical treatment. Since you have not been nor will be provided with a court order barring my rights, I expect full cooperation from your facility in my being a [father/mother] to my [son/daughter].
I have tried to get the following information through [his/her] [father/mother], but as it seems to upset [child's name] due to our inability to communicate, I am requesting this information directly from the medical facility to keep [child's name]’s emotional well-being in the forefront. Information to be considered includes, but is not limited to, the following:
1. Photocopies of the paperwork for all check-ups, inoculations, emergency treatment, and any other paperwork that is sent to [child's name]’s primary residence ([his/her] [father/mother], [name of father/mother]).
2. Make sure that my name is in the "[father/mother]" spot on any and all medical records, make sure that my name, address, home & work telephone numbers, and my wife’s work number are included in the records as emergency contacts (this information is provided below).
3. To be able to contact doctors, nurses, counselors, and any other medical personnel to discuss [child's name]’s physical, mental and social well-being via telephone, email, fax, or in person.
4. Copies of any medical testing results along with opportunities to speak with medical personnel if any help is needed interpreting the results.
5. ANY and ALL emergency treatments on a timely basis so that [child's name]’s [father/mother] and I may discuss [his/her] medical concerns when they happen.
You may mail or fax me any information to the address/fax number below.
I understand that there may be copying or postage costs involved in obtaining material for me. This is not a problem, and I am more than willing to pay for them. Just send a statement whenever such costs are incurred.
I would also like to be notified (immediately upon the receipt of this letter) of the name of [child's name]’s primary doctor and the times during the day that I would be most likely able to telephone and speak with him or her. If you have any question as to whether a piece of information should be sent to me, send it.
I would also like copies of [his/her] records to be sent to [his/her] pediatrician in [city]. Send the copies to:
[Doctor(s) Name and Address]
Please be advised that I will be authorizing the sending of copies of [child's name]’s medical records from Dr. [doctor's name] at Clinic in [city], and Dr. [doctor's name] at the [name of clinic/hospital] to your office shortly, so as to keep [child's name]’s records as up-to-date as possible at both [his/her] homes.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation, and if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.
City State Zip
Phone and FAX Number(s)