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child support - back owed

Started by stwbshort, Jan 16, 2004, 06:36:38 PM

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I went and read the documents that are on file at the provided court addy,, what major flaw are you talking about?


>    Okay, unfortunately none of that shows any PROOF and I
>already found a major flaw in the story with the little bit of
>info you have given me.  That tics me off!

Kindly enlighten us. What I've seen from the newspaper article and court documents TICS ME off, but NOT at this mother.
>     As for the money, you owe it you pay it. Be done with it,
>or YOU go to jail. If I could get away with only 3,333.00 I
>would be extatic. Mind you though even though I feel that the
>main custodial parent is the one who should provide the major
>financial support.  

Mustang, we ALL have our personal axes to grind. She owes the money, despite what her ex was doing.
>     You had a relationship with this guy at one point. You
>did the deed just as much as he did.  It doesn't surprise me
>to hear you say he was abusive.  My ex said the same thing and
>guess what, I have never laid a hand on her out of anger in
>anyway.  She is ticked off at me because I told her I was
>going to go for custody of our daughter.  In my situation I
>see it as she is trying to KILL me by trying to send me to
>jail for the rest of my life.  It's disgusting and I now in my
>own mind classify her as a murderer.  The fact that she is so
>selfish, irresponsible, and vindictive enough because she is
>afraid of losing custody that she would attempt to have me
>locked up for life, tells me exactly where she needs to be.
>People like HER should be locked up for life, they are the
>most dangerous people next to serial killers.  

No arguement that false accusations occur, the EVIDENSE collected on THIS case has resulted in bond being set at MILLIONS withOUT option of posting 10%. Once again, you are grinding on your own ax. I'm sorry you are getting a bumrush, just as I am for all parents suffering from this. Do you really look at this case as a wild dreamed up fabrication????
>     A man spent 10 yrs. of his life in prison for a child
>molestion case.  Only after that time did his children finally
>set their father free because the mother had told them to tell
>the lies.  Guess what, she's in jail now right where SHE
>should have been in the first place.

Good, fine. Bully for lockin up a lyin assed parent. Needs to happen in everycase. Let me guess, the poster here cooked up a CGI tape showing the abuse, drove from another state, planted the computer generated tape of him raping his daughter, then called the cops. Now, she cant pay 3k in back support, BUT she can cook up a multimillion dollar CGI tape. Riiiight.
>     Let me ask you this.  I don't want to know anymore
>details, and again only you know the truth. This is no longer
>about you dodging what you owe. Jail is just a living death.
>Do you think he should die for what you SAY happened?

If he did it,, damn right he should die for it. But then, Im funny that way,, hurt my child, I'll hunt you to the ends of the earth.


>2 1/2 yrs ago, I left MO, an abusive ex-boyfriend, and moved
>my daughter and myself back home to OH.  He filed for custody
>and child support through MO and won due to financial reasons.
> This past July, my daughter told me her dad was sexually
>abusing her (in 5 yr old terms)  and we reported it.  MO did
>an investigation and he is now sitting in jail awaiting trial
>for 13 charges, 8 statutory sodomy 1st digree, 4 statutory
>rape 1st digree, 1 explotin of a minor felony A  (he could
>take a plea but either way they have enough evidence on him
>that he will never get out).  I tried to file with legal aid
>in MO to modify the custody order, but was denied (odly enough
>by the attorney I had 2 1/2 yrs ago when I fought my
>ex-boyfriend  for custody) due to the fact "the limited
>resources of our agency make it impossible for us to accept
>many applications for services."    So, after long
>investigation on my part, I found out I could file in the
>county I live in for custody and they would possibly take
>jurisdiction over MO.  I was told I would have to wait for a
>trial date and the case would be heard infront of a
>madjestrate or a judge and they would decide if OH would hear
>the case or if I would have to go through MO to handle this
>matter.  (thats not for another 3 to 6 months)  

Its terrible to be where you are. You can, with a little self education, file on your own for a custody mod and jurisdiction change. Him being locked up will help that along.
>  I owe back support. OH is now coming after me for MO in the
>amount of  $3333.76.  I am trying to find out what is owed to
>the state (because of him being on medicade and food stamps)
>and what is supposed to go to him.  I don't believe that the
>whole amount is owed the state.  I also don't believe that I
>should have to pay any part of the money back that is owed,
>since he obviously will not be able to pay me child support
>for the rest of his life. He has already taken enough from me
>and my daughter and this would be taking more. I just can't
>see paying a couple thousand dollars to a man that will be
>sitting in jail for the rest of his life. Is there something I
>can file or some other place I can look for a pro-bono
>attorney in MO to handle this?  I just don't know what to do
>anymore.  I've had about enough of the run-around from all of
>these legal people.  If anyone can help I would really
>appreciate it.

Unfortunately, despite what has occured, and the fact you will more than likely never see a dime, you do owe the back money and they will either collect it, or lock you up.  I am not sure about where you are, BUT, you MAY be able to request an administrative hearing with cse for an accounting of the money owed and arrange terms. Dont let it get to the warrant stage of proceedings.
>Frustrated Struggling Mother


OMG! Thank the Lord you were able to get your child away from this man!

I read all of these posts, and the links given. I see not one reason in this for you to be attacked.
I will pray for your daughters recovery.

According to the list of charges and the newspaper post this story is not fictional!

Yes you do owe the money, unfortunatly. You can when you go to deal with this set up a payment plan with the courts.Let them know your income, the bills you pay, including childcare, and let them know you can pay xx$ each month to pay it back. Let them know it is a debt that you have every intention to pay, even NCP's with arrearages only pay a portion with the normal cs payments.


>Its terrible to be where you are. You can, with a little self education, file on your own for a custody mod and jurisdiction change. Him being locked up will help that along.

I've already filed for the custody.  I won't hear when I have a court date for 3 to 6 months.  With me living in oh for as long as I have and now my daughter living here for 6 months, and the circumstances, I don't think it will be a problem having OH take over jurisdiction and awarding me custody.  (at least I hope jurisdiction won't be a problem).

>Unfortunately, despite what has occured, and the fact you will more than likely never see a dime, you do owe the back money and they will either collect it, or lock you up. I am not sure about where you are, BUT, you MAY be able to request an administrative hearing with cse for an accounting of the money owed and arrange terms.  Dont let it get to the warrant stage of proceedings.

I am already in discussion process with cs (trying to get ahold of the case worker) and the prosecuting attorney in OH.  
Here's a question.  If I do have to start paying it back, do you think I can file for support from him (which would be  prisoner state wages) and what ever i had sent,  would be sent back to us?

Thanks for the help!  


What I would do,, is get it negiated thru cse.


   No, I will not apologize.  In this country we are supposed to be INNOCENT until PROVEN guilty.  
   I am EXTREMELY disgusted with the fact that a parent can harm their child in anyway!  But, Peanut, have you seen the video?

   When me and my ex were together and my daughter was about 5 months old, we went to Walmart to take pictures of our daughter.  My ex wanted to pose my daughter laying on her stomach naked with no diaper.  I said fine, I thought it would be cute.  The walmart associate said "no, we can't do that anymore" she said they consider that a form of child pornagraphy.  Wow! You mean to tell me that MY parents have child porn pictures of ME? All of our parents need to be arrested for it now. There is no statute of limitations, so why not?

   I have a VIDEO TAPE too by the way.  But in that video tape it shows my ex doing something to me that the police now have me charged with!  The funny thing is I have talked to a couple of lawyers and they said that the prosecutor will not do a cross-warrant on her!  I have VIDEO TAPED evidence.  But you see, she got to file a charge first, so now I'm screwed.  This VIDEO TAPE which the prosecutor has not had a chance to see proves my innocence.  I wish I could fill you in with more but I cannot.

   The Prosecutor said that they have evidence against me.  Ha! I can't wait to see what it is, because there can't be any because nothing happened! So, it's obvious to me that my ex not only just tried to take a legal maneuver  to keep me from going for custody of my daughter but the prosecutor is so desperate to throw 9 innocent men in jail just to get the 1 who is truly guilty that they are willing to make up evidence to support themselves.  

   It's a witch hunt out there and I wonder what the video tape of that guy and his daughter actually have on it.  Lets see, bathroom video maybe of him giving her a bath? Changing her clothes? Well unfortunately in this upside down world now if any of that is caught on tape it is illegal.  So, a warning to all you parents out there.  Don't video tape your children growing up because it will be used against you somehow in the future.
    $1,000,000.00 bond doesn't mean he is guilty, it means that the prosecutor made multiple and multiple charges and SAID they have this evidence against him. The Judge does not get to see the evidence when he makes the bond. He just looks at the seriousness of the charges and how many there are and goes on the prosecutors word and usually this is all takes place before the defendant gets a chance to speak to a lawyer.  

    Also, Peanut read everything strwbry has stated closely, and you will find something you didn't expect.  I will not say what it is because that is evidence for the defense.
    I will not apologize. I will not retract my statements. Have either of you been on the other side? Charged with something you didn't do and face long term jail time while the prosecutor and police try to make whatever evidence they can? It's a feeling you can't explain, but it opens your eyes to reality of the CRIMINAL actions that prosecutors take to try and throw INNOCENT people in jail.  
    I use to just go about my everyday life and didn't pay much attention to people being locked up. It was their life not mine, and I figured they must have done it if they are locked up.  Now with research I have been doing, I am completely flabergasted to see how many men have spent a good portion of their life in jail for crimes they did not commit and when they are finally freed, they get no apology and no restitution for their 10 20 30 years spent behind bars.  
    Okay, back to you strwbry.  If this man is guilty he will most likely plead guilty to lesser charges. They will drop most of the charges on him and he will spend jail time, but with a guilty plea he will probably be looking at around 20 yrs with something like 10 yrs suspended and several months already served for the time he was in there.  So, As happy as you sound about you thinking he is going to be sitting in jail for the rest of his life isn't going to happen.  He didn't kill anyone did he? He will pay for his crime if guilty but he will still have a life afterwards and you will still responsible for the back support.
    By the way, no offense but, A judge will throw a man in jail in a heartbeat for not paying his child support.  How did you manage not to be jailed for not doing what is right?
    Hey peanut, if I were to sit back and take everything for everybodies word I would have to say then that this poor child really needs to be in the care of her grandparents because by just hearsay this poor little girl has a perverted father and an irresponsible mother.
   I pray for the truth and justice of all in this matter and bless this little girl for she is the only true innocent.



   Here's the irony.  When I was a child, I was molested by more than one person.  As a matter of fact there are 6 children in my family and each one of us was molested.  We were all molested at different times and different people. I never told anyone.  2 of the persons were found out later on for a different incident and charged with molestation. One of them served jail time for several years and when they got out they died a few years later.  I have been fortunate enough to realize there is nothing wrong with me and have never needed therapy for my past, because I know it is just that, my past.  The one who went to jail was raped in jail and contracted AIDS and died.  I was never angry at these people and death is not what I would have wanted for any of them.  You see what they needed was psychological help, not a death sentence.  I still know and talk to the other ones who molested me.  I see them as troubled but not dangerous people.  I do know that the other ones did get the help they needed and are now very fine outstanding citzens. I don't know of a single friend of mine that hasn't told me of molestation in their past.  This tells me it is a bigger problem than any of us can even fathom.  If we were to jail all of these people for the rest of there lives then I believe most of your own families would be in jail right now.  I DO NOT condone this behavior, but I believe we need to come together as a people and make serious changes as to the way people are taught to grow up.  Our society is guilty for most of these happenings.  There are hardly any stay at home parents anymore and molestation usually happens when the parents are at work.  Nothing started happening to us until my mother went from being a stay at home mother to working as much as my father did. That was a big reason for my telling my ex that I wanted her to be a stay at home mom so that my daughter would always be looked after and not be caught in one of these sad situations.  You see I took from this situation and learn from it so that I would provide my own child with what she would need to be protected and cared for. Unfortunately my situation has now completely crashed around me.
    Needless to say, in our crazy messed up world, some people like to hold themselves as being better than others and God forbid if they think you have done something wrong because they will send you to jail for life just so they don't have to think about you.  What we need here people is studies and provide the help needed for both sides to understand the difference of right and wrong.  We need psychological help for those who need it.  Strwbry's ex need's some serious therapy if he did these things.  But if he is thrown in jail or say 5-10 yrs., when he gets out he will pobably be worse of a human being and have his eyes set out to definately try and harm people then.  So, that's the way the cookie crumbles.  
    When I am angry I speak in words not fists, so peanut and strwbry I will only apologize for being so blunt with my words.  If he did do this strwbry it is your right to be ticked off and want revenge.  But let me ask you this.  Do you believe he should die?
    Also, I might sound angry alot of times but the reality is that I try now to get people to look at what they are doing and saying about others and start to open their own eyes to what reality actually is.  Not to be vindictive or hateful, but to be understanding and take the steps needed to get help for those who need it and most of all help yourself and not rely on everyone else.  
    I am now facing some serious charges that could land me in jail for a minimum of 20 yrs to life.  Well just so you know I will tell you what the outcome will be: NOT GUILTY.  I can tell you this though. I am tired and emotionally exhausted now for what the BM has done to me.  I said she should be in jail for this, but the reality is she needs to go back to therapy.  I did nothing wrong but do to the criminal justice system I do feel I may give up on trying to be a father because I can only see more allegations in the future and she won't stop until she has me put away, and all just because she doesn't want to lose custody of our daughter, even partial.
    People people people.  Stop this insanity.  Love your children, and stop hating because one day someone will probably end up doing the same thing to you if you don't.

Indigo Mom

-----I know how the courts like to add and multiply charges to the insane from personal experience. -----

It was explained to me by my public defender.  They add and multiply charges to make SURE that "something" sticks.  I agree with you, District Attorneys want to slam dunk whoever for a crime, as they only want a win.  

Take my case for example.  I was facing 6 years in prison for something I didn't commit.  Would you like to hear the "evidence"?  The "weapon" mysteriously disappeared...there  was no weapon.  Why?  Because monster had this weapon illegally...he got rid of it for that reason...but also because my fingerprints would NEVER have been found on it as I never touched it.  This particular "weapon" is something I disagree with having.  

There were 4 different versions of the story.  And I'm not talking "slight" differences, I'm talking different rooms the "incident" happening in.  One room was the bedroom, with him sitting on the bed.  One room was the living room with him sitting on the recliner.  One version said I had my son in my arms as I attempted to kill monster.  Another version said he had no clue where my son was.  

There was another interesting piece of evidence.  I was at work, and had a time card proving this.  I didn't rely on my printed out schedule, I relied on my time card.  My time card wasn't the "usual" time card, it was a receipt.  We used the cash register, typed PLU 1 then cash, it then printed out a "receipt" just seconds before turning on the alarm, a receipt that had the exact time on it.  Not only that, but it was MY security code typed into the alarm system at 815pm on the night in question.  My boss and coworker were both willing to testify to this.  

And to go further....the "alledged" crime happened at 744pm.  When confronted with the information about me being at work, it suddenly changed to 844pm.  What's funny about that...and something I couldn't prove, was that I didn't get home til 5 after 9pm as I took the bus at 823pm which dropped me off a mile from monsters home.  If I could prove it, i'm sure the time would have changed to 944pm.

And to top it all off?  The alledged crime happened on the 8th of this particular month...he never made mention of it to ANYONE until 4 days later when I finally got up the nerve to leave my abuser.  Isn't that interesting?  

The police and investigators went hog wild on this one...but in EVERY report written by anyone are the words "monster refuses to cooperate with authorities".  IOW...he lied, then didn't want to go through with it because he KNEW he lied...and couldn't keep a story straight.  He gave the "bare minimum" to the officers...and that bare minimum is where we got all the different versions.  Of course...one thing he did say was that he was in terrible fear for his life.  Wouldn't you have reported this "crime" the moment it happened?

After reading this, you're probably thinking I was "let off" due to insufficient evidence, or "dismissed" because of "whatever".  No.  The prosecutor wanted my ass in jail for 6 years.  She had NO evidence, she had NO case...simply put, she had all the proof in the world that NOTHING happened....but wanted a "win".  

She made my life a living hell for 53 weeks.  With all the stupid little hearings, motions, settings, bullshit this, bullshit that...and then all along the way offered me plea after plea.  She did this because she KNEW she was going to lose...and if I pled down, she could still get a form of "win".

I KNOW people are prosecuted with no evidence.  I KNOW people are sentenced to jail on basically no evidence.  I KNOW the system sucks.  However, I've read the case and the article in the paper and find that this "monster" more than likely did molest this child.  I can't see any "faults"...and trust me, I WANTED to find it.  I wasn't reading it to find out about the case, I was looking for faults but found none.

ps...the day this DA fights to be elected a Judge is the day her and I go face to face...since my 'ordeal' I promised myself that she will NEVER become a Judge.  

Indigo Mom

-----As far as the arrearages and what the state paid for your daughter,, I dont think there is any way to erase that. It's levied against you and Im afraid you will either be forced to pay it or serve time. -----

PD?  I remember a big thread where Dedicated_Dad jumped in.  It was about this very thing...an NCP having to pay back welfare debts the CP has racked up.  What I remember him saying is that there isn't one law saying the NCP must pay for the CP's state bill.

He said most NCP's are "bombarded" with threats by the social service people that they'll go to jail, but DD said that was completely untrue...unless SS has managed to get the NCP to sign a form acknowledging the debt is theirs.