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What do you think of this letter?

Started by Wi-Mom, Oct 21, 2004, 09:46:15 AM

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You haven't read anything I've written, it's quite obvious.  



Good luck with this, I hope he takes it as the sincere Thank You it is!

Isn't it bizarre to get to a place where you do actually appreciate your ex?  (Even though you still can't stand the sight of him) LOL!


"I know fathers that financially supported the family while the mother stayed home and was the primary caregiver, and as a result, feels that the mother is better capable of being primary caregiver."

Cathy- I'm not trying to start an argument, I just want to point out that I know a wonderful, caring, understanding, sensitive father who is now most likely going to lose his children because he supported his family financially.  He did what was right and she and the court system is using that to extract him, but not his money from his childrens lives.  
The fathers just can't win, damned if you do and damned if you don't.  I think it's great that she wants to acknowledge his help and show appreciation.  I think these two show an excellent example of co-parenting.


You know.. my DH's ex is so horrible that I'm constantly telling DH that my ex is so lucky to have me for an ex, and I'm so lucky to have him!

Sometimes DH will hang up the phone after talking to his ex  and says, "He is the luckiest man in the world to have you for an ex!"

Bottom line is that both of us could have made our divorce pre and post very ugly if we wanted to. But we both kept saying that we needed to minimize the consequences for the kids. We keep everything the same except we just don't live together anymore.

You think I want him at my house at 7:00am EVERY Christmas morning? But every holiday season I tell him.. "Our daughter will be 18 in Feb 2004. These could be the last years we have to spend Christmas with her.. who knows? Lets make these last Christmases the best one's they've ever had! And so we get creative, and put all the crap between us behind us.. and boy they've been a blast." We've done the same for Thanksgiving and Easter cuz we love our children.

I'm wondering now that he's just gotten married last month if his new wife is going to put the kabosh on Christmas for him. I have no idea what her traditions are with her kids.


I know fathers in that same boat.  I know there are both fathers and mothers that have been screwed, in both child support and visitation.

It sucks regardless of your sex.  Trust me - I am not saying that the system is fair or right.  We have been extremely lucky in our dealings with the court. (Just to clarify, I am stepmom - no biological kids.  My husband now has custody of his 2 daughters.)

I was going to say that we have been fortunate and my husband has "won" - but that isn't quite right.  It is hard to say anyone "won" when the kids have had to go thru what they have.  But the court system did work for us - we now have custody AND the mother has been ordered to pay child support.  

In the long run, I truly think in our case, it is the children who have finally "won"!