Can he modify support?

[Stepmom0418]

Thats what I thought but wanted to make sure that the post was not intended to me.

[wendl]

Step,

I don't think Joni meant that to you.
:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MYSONSDAD]

I know she did not mean that to you. Probably fed up with the ignorance of this madmom. At least she found an appropriate name to post under.

I have accidently posted under wrong posters a few times. Happens to the best of us...

"Children learn what they live"

[joni]

For sure I got them mixed up.  SORRY!  

[Stepmom0418]

Joni,

Dont worry! I understand just wanted to clear it up and make sure that it wasnt directed to me although I did not think that it was! LOL!

[sweetnsad]

Well, this poster has stirred up a bit of drama....and it's no damn wonder!

Let's see if I understand now...



>My ex husband is taking me to court to modify child support
>because our son was sent to incarceration for over a year.  He
>wants it changed to take my son off so I only get support for
>my daughter.  Can he do this?

Why shouldn't he?  Your son is no longer under your care and he's already paying for him to be incarcerated.  Why should he pay twice??

>My husband and I just bought a
>new house and if support is changed I won't be able to afford
>the payments now.

Well, as another poster said:  BOOHOO!!!!  My gosh, since when was it ever made clear that cs was intended to use for house payments, car payments, etc..??  Haven't you been informed that cs is used to care for the children?  It's used to ASSIST you with the financial responsibilities associated with raising your children....not so you can go and live beyond your means and buy this huge house you don't need.  Many of us here go without....we don't depend on cs as an income, because it ISN'T!  What happens if your ex loses his source of income due to sickness or an accident and he's no longer able to make such payments?  What do you do then?  Your train of thought makes absolutely no sense at all.  
Here's a brain wave:  GO GET A JOB!  I have THREE children too....ages 6, 20 months and seven months.  My six year old is from a previous marriage and I can't get a damn cent from her father....so I provide everything for her.  My other two children are with the man I'm with now that pays cs for three other children.  We both HAVE to work to make ends meet and pay the bills.  Do you think I LIKE leaving my babies with a sitter?  Do you think I WANT to be away from them?  It's not a matter of "want" honey, it's a matter of "having to".

>Also he is related to his lawyer and I will
>have to pay a lawyer to keep him from doing this to me.

All I can say is good for him.  If he can find a way to fight you without having to pay a single cent, I say, go for it.

>What
>can I do to keep support where it is?  Can I make him pay for
>a lawyer for me so he doesn't trash my rights here?

Hopefully not.  What rights do you think you have?

[joni]

With all of our logic, madmom will never get it.

[jolawanda]

youda thought a  christian fairing woman woulda picked something more respectible to be called. But, ya call em like ya sees em missy!

I VOTE...hell yeah, he should get the deduction.

I must say it was refreshing to read some of the CP's opinions of you and the raising of support for the reasons you stated.

and, pay for you own dang lawyer...you hired em, you pay em....

[jolawanda]

choice w/ your mortgage and that is your and your NEW hubbies fault, take the hit and deal with it...

EQ

YOU chose to make your mortgage DOUBLE of the normal mortgage and you want someone else to pick up the mistake..? oh geez, give me a break!

[MixedBag]

As I read through these threads.....madmom, how about this idea?

Your son is incarcerated for a year.  I can honestly see your point in that you have to have a home for him when he gets out.  YOUR overall fixed expenses don't change, but your variable (food, electricity, water) does.

The system makes parents pay for the time the child is in jail, right?

If Dad wants child support reduced because child is now in jail and he is being told to pay -- but you are not being told to pay, THIS is based on income and earning capacity....Dad has no choice and from HIS point of view, I agree with him.  I'm guessing -- ok GUESSING -- that the child was in your PRIMARY care when whatever happened, happened to cause the incarceration too.  Don't you think DAD is a bit upset over this?  (Asking himself if he could have saved the child and done a better JOB???)

So why don't you offer to pay the fees that the state/or whomever is asking for out of your child support?  Or better yet, most states set up child support on an shared income ratio.....  Say that's 80/20 -- and then you should pay your fair share of whatever the state/whomever is going to charge the parents.

The money dad is paying to you should go to the CHILD who happens to be in jail for a year.....

Since I'm a CP, I can also see that you're overall budget includes your child support income -- I did that too when I was laying out my expenses vs. income.  HOWEVER, I also learned the lesson long ago that I shouldn't depend on that CS -- when my EX#1 stopped paying when I divorced EX#2, (because they got together against me), I woke up.  It was a long time before I relied --  or took a loan out -- on that child support to come in and go out the other door.

Hopefully I've given you a possible option so that you can avoid court and attorney's fees and all that ugly stuff.....

Think about it from both sides, not just your own.