Now have temp and TRO

[msme]

Expect to win! We will be praying for you & your daughter. I would read through the parenting plans on this site. Get a copy of your daughter's school calendar & make a very liberal visitation schedule, based on it.

See if you can get in some sanctions regarding unrelated male visitors in the house when your child is there. Also something about drug use.

You are in a prime position for custody, something most men rarely find themselves in without a very long hard battle. Whatever you do, keep your cool. Let the court know that you feel it is important for your child to have her mother involved in her life. Do not bash your ex.

Good luck & God bless.


You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[Tennessee Dad]

THANK YOU!  Your response really boosted my spirits.  

Everyone keeps telling me I am in the right.  I would never try to keep daughter from her Mother, but I want to know she is safe and taken care off.  That's all I have ever asked.  

Especially thank you for your prayers; we have a prayer circle going, and lots of prayers will be going up about 10:00 tomorrow.  Thanks for adding yours to the list.  

[Tennessee Dad]

Hearing today to rule on temporary custody; she showed up without an attorney, so the Judge strongly advised she have one.  She said she wanted one, so he postponed the hearing, leaving me with temp custody, and allowing her visitation.  She is PO'd, and it showed.  Judge asked about where she could have overnights with the child, without being alone with her.  She asked for her Mom's (where she is moving to).   I asked for her Dad's; she said no way, they're on his side (pointing at me).   Even the court officer smiled at this one.  

Next court date to be March 15th, if she can get an attorney.  We are planning on filing the petition for permanent change in custody next week.  This is going to be a long drawn out affair.  Pray for me, I need it.  

[Indigo Mom]

You know what everyone says about "Temporary Custody".....it's VERY difficult to turn it around, as you already know!

Good luck on your next hearing...at least it's not too far away!  By the way, "where" are her overnights taking place?  Was that decided on?

[wendl]

well all I can say is good luck. My dh got a TRO on bm and cusotdy of the kids he had a hearing 13 days later and he was ordered to return the kids. He got the TRO due to her so called father who was a convicted sex offender whom stays at her house, however she played that he doesn't sleep over and that the kids wont be unsupervised with this man, therefore dh had to return the kids, so I hope yours goes better than my dh's.  

I honestly cannot understand how a person who was molested by a man as a child would allow this man to be around her let alone her children.

Again good luck, and be prepared.

[Tennessee Dad]

Visitation with Mom was allowed, but she had to keep the child somewhere overnight, not alone.  She asked for her Mom and Step-Dad; I asked for her Dad and Step-Mom.  She looked at the Judge shaking her head going "NO, NO; they're on his side!"  Even the court officer got a chuckle out of that.  

So, we are just hanging on; we got her back in good form Sunday night.  We were afraid she would be clinging to Mom since she hadn't been with her in three weeks.  But, she didn't; she was ready to go home with us.  I don't think she was real happy there.  She kept telling me how much she missed us.  I just want her happy, and safe!

[Tennessee Dad]

BM has called; she now wants to settle, because she can't get a lawyer, and she doesn't want to go to court.  I think she may have finally realized she really doesn't have much of a case, and she might lose everything if it goes to court.

I have talked to my attorney; she suggested I proceed with caution and talk to her.  She said IF we can reach an agreement, then we can file it with the court as an agreed order, and this could all be resolved.

I'm not holding my breath, but negotiations are on.  We (wife and I) are going to work on a proposal this weekend, then try to sit down with BM and work it out.  Pray for me; I need all the help I can get!

[Tennessee Dad]

We went to court today; she showed up with her Mother, but no attorney.  She was served with a petition for full custody when she arrived, before she came in the court room.  She is not happy!

The judge recommended, again, that she get an attorney.  She told him since I am not paying support, and her other ex- is not paying support, she is not working, and can't get disability, that she has no money.  He asked about Legal Aid; she said they wouldn't take the case.  She said she had called other lawyers, and they wouldn't talk to her without any money.  Her Mom said she would see that she gets an attorney.  

The judge didn't want to hear any testimony or see any evidence, but let me keep temporary custody, allowing her visitation two weekends, then me one, and also allowing her Wednesday nights pick up from school and return to school on Thursday.  The principal has agreed to let me know if she has any problem getting her there.   I think that is about the best we could hope for, for now.  

Now, she has 30 days to answer the petition, so we are playing the waiting game; but at least I have daughter the most of the time.  My attorney is going to try and schedule the court date for 30-days out, because she doesn't think the answer will be in any sooner.  So, now we wait.  

[Tennessee Dad]

The BM's attorney filed a "Motion to Set Aside" last week.  The hearing was yesterday, and BM now has daughter back, until court date June 4th on my "Petition for Change of Custody".  BM wanted me to only have every other weekend visitation, but Judge agreed with me that I should have as much as she had under temporary order.  So, I have her every Wednesday, and two weekends to BM's one.  Not what I wanted, but better than BM wanted.  

The Judge suggested possible mediation.  Has anyone gone through that, or have an opinion?  Thanks!

[nosonew]

First off, I can't believe she got her back! I am SOOO sorry!

Regarding mediation, if the mediator is not allowed to make recommendations to the court, submit documents to the court, inform the court of "agreements made in mediation",etc, it is friggin worthless- not worth the time, money, aggravation, etc.  Either party can back out after agreements and the court will never know!

BUT, if the court orders that the mediator, or case manager, in our situation, can and will send information to the courts, can contact the judge directly with questions, comments, concerns, etc., can write up agreements for him to sign and make a court order, etc., then it is certainly worth it!

Make sure everything is very specific in the court order as to who has to pay (usually split 50/50) and if one party fails to show up to appts, any agreements made between the mediator and the party who did show up get sent to the court anyway (thus the party showing up wins all) because if it's not important enough to show up, then you don't care what happens.  Also state that if a party has to cancel an appt., they must do so at least 48 hours in advance, unless a medical emergency in which they will have to prove via documentation to the mediator within a specified amount of time.  (Our judge said unless we were in ICU in a hospital or a morgue, we had better be there!) Needless to say, both parties in our case always showed!
Best of luck, email me if you have further questions!--Nosonew