Now have temp and TRO

[Tennessee Dad]

I posted questions on Soc's board, but thought I would tell the BIG story here.  

I WAS the NCP of 6yo daughter.  As of Friday, I have temp custody, and a TRO.  Due to 3 fires at the Mother's house in the last week, Judge agreed daughter was in danger!  Thankfully, we have had daughter during all of this.   Mother is in the process of moving in with her Mother and Step-Father.  Her house has been foreclosed, and she is being evicted.  

We have actually had daughter the majority of the time the last 3 years.  Mother has been unemployed the last 2 years, and her children have become her means of support.  (She also has a son by a different Father.)  Needless to say, she is very angry and vindictive about my temp order.  She was served yesterday, and the hearing is Friday.  I have been told this hearing is basically a formality; and the showdown will be later, when I am going for full, permanent custody.  

What are our chances of winning this?  I am really torn right now!  Have I done the right thing by my daughter, or have I just made it harder on her in the long run, if I should lose?  

Please, feel free to ask me more if you need more info or clarification.  I am going crazy with worry that something will come up, and I can't keep my daughter safe.  

[Indigo Mom]

-----I am really torn right now! Have I done the right thing by my daughter, or have I just made it harder on her in the long run, if I should lose? -----

Ok, here's my opinion.  When I went from being a LTNCP (long term ncp) to the CP of my son, I got this weird feeling, too.  I wondered if I could "handle" it, if I could even "do" it.  When I became the CP, monster was out.  So, it was 100% on me to raise this lil person...and I had doubts!  Can you believe that?  I've always been the CP of my daughter, so it's "obvious" I can raise a child...but my silly self had doubts.  It was a VERY difficult time for lil dude and I.  

I'm convinced there's some sort of "disorder" that goes along with suddenly being granted custody.  Can't explain it...we fight SO hard for our children, and when it's granted, we actually wonder if we've done the right thing.  How odd is that??

Anyway, I think you did the right thing.  When you act in your childs best interest, you can't go wrong.  3 fires in ONE week at moms house?  WTF?  Repeat  arson?  Isn't that a crime?  How the hell does one have a home catch fire that many times????  Your child could have been seriously injured...or worse.  And that, my friend, is what you need to keep in mind.  

Don't ever doubt yourself.  When you do, ya mess up in court, ya get sloppy, ya get "iffy", ya get lenient...cause you're scared.  Continue trying to protect your little girl, and love her like there's no tomorrow.  Moms mad?  DUH...she lost one of her meal tickets.  Don't let her anger get to you...let her destroy herself with it.  


Prepare for a fight...but prepare to win for your daughter.

Congrats!!!!!!

[Indigo Mom]

I guess, when it comes to your ex....my signiture fits!  Her "fires" have destroyed her!  

LOLOL

[Tennessee Dad]

Her fires have damaged more than the house.  The fire investigator was the main witness in the temp filing.  He thinks she is a "nut case".  

Thanks; I hope it all goes well.!

[Kitty C.]

I think she has MUCH more to worry about than the custody issue, because if the fire marshall is involved, it won't be long until 'arson' is mentioned, and if it follows course, she will be going bye-bye for a LONG time..........

[Tennessee Dad]

. . . but, she is pointing the finger at a male friend, she had just met, who happened to be staying at her house and helping her move.  We are going on the theory that even if she did not start the fires, she is responsible for having someone in her house that might.  (And she has a pattern of unstable men in her life, not counting my H, lol!)  

[Kitty C.]

I think she has MUCH more to worry about than the custody issue, because if the fire marshall is involved, it won't be long until 'arson' is mentioned, and if it follows course, she will be going bye-bye for a LONG time..........

[Tennessee Dad]

. . . but, she is pointing the finger at a male friend, she had just met, who happened to be staying at her house and helping her move.  We are going on the theory that even if she did not start the fires, she is responsible for having someone in her house that might.  (And she has a pattern of unstable men in her life, not counting my H, lol!)  

[Kitty C.]

Well, 'accessory' charges with arson can be pretty bad, too.  *chuckle*  This is gonna be a fun one to watch unfold!

[Tennessee Dad]

I finally have a copy of the Motion the Judge signed last Friday.  It is asking to change primary custody from Mother to Father, permanently, and terminating child support payments.  Stated is a material change in circumstances, we have the child at least 50% of the time, and continued custody with the Mother is unsafe.

Hearing is this Friday, 10:00 a.m.  THIS IS the big show!  What do we expect, now?