Question about Mediator's Position?

[daisygirl0825]

Currently it does not say anything about when he was away, just that he must be present for visitation.  They had requested the email because they did not want to call only write to her.  That has been the rule since she was four.  There had not been an issue before so this one snuck up on me.  The understanding between us had always been to leave daughter out of the middle, but now that has backfired.   

All I wanted was for us to get along and daughter got hurt.  I did not realize how awful things could turn by allowing communication between stepmom and daughter.

[ocean]

Ok..good so you are covered by the court order too.
When is he coming back? No contact/visits until he comes back.
You can make a certain time he calls, you answer, make sure it is him, then hand her the phone.
Tell he she needs to respect her SM but she can at any time hand the phone back to you if she gets on the phone and starts with her.

Sad that you were really trying to do the right thing with her. Most of us would LOVE you as a bio mother. To try and make a visit with a friend without telling you is nutty...especially when he is not home and she is doing it all.

Family court will not allow her to even fill out papers.

[daisygirl0825]

Just an update on this situation.

Dad came home and left a voicemail for daughter saying she has not choice but to go to visitation.  Daughter called back and asked him to call and talk to her.  That was two days ago and Dad is "too busy" to call, but can email me saying if I do not make her go then I do not support him as a parent, new wife using his name.  Dad will not call me or daughter and I feel stuck.  I am begging him to call and the email says that is disrespectful to make demands of his time.  I am at a complete loss.  Needless to say, daughter is not going this weekend and they are claiming to file contempt.  My attorney said to let them so this can go before a judge at their expense.  Legally I cannot make Dad be involved, but maybe the judge will say something to him to make him understand communication with daughter is important and not a demand.

[daisygirl0825]

Just got an email from Dad's account saying that he will not call daughter and will forego any further visitation.  I am so sad for my daughter.

[Giggles]

Just got an email from Dad's account saying that he will not call daughter and will forego any further visitation.  I am so sad for my daughter.

He's an idiot...keep that e-mail in a file.

Most of us here learned to "Document....Document....Document"!!  SO when or even "if" they file...you have back up information.

How sad for your DD

[ocean]

Yup, keep that email because now he can not file contempt. He just let you know he is not picking up child.
Just tell child that until things calm down, she is going to stay with you but that her dad loves her (take the high road). Sounds like this is from the SM. Are you sure the father knows what the SM is doing?

Do you have a work number you can call him on and just say, got an email that you are no longer taking XX for your parenting time?

SM is mad that her plan did not work and she was probably told she can not force anything. SM probably does not want to pay for a lawyer either and thought she can bully the situation which backfired. Oh well....

Sorry for child though...just tell her maybe when things calm down they will call and work things out...

[daisygirl0825]

Unfortunately I have no way of contacting Dad without going through stepmom.  I have his home number, and her cell number.  His work number is to the main office and they have told me they cannot connect the call offshore without there being a medical emergency.  Daughter was so sure he would call and this really is awful for her.  I have read up on PAS, which I am accused of, and I do not see the correlation.  Can someone enlighten me?  I am worried about hurting daughter unintentionally.

My appreciation to those dealing with PBFH because I feel like that is what I am doing. 

[ocean]

He is blaming PAS on you? That means that you are telling her to not go to her fathers and not encouraging visits. Can you leave a message for him at work to call you that it is important but not an emergency?

If he is home, you can send him a certified letter and check off the box that ONLY he can sign for it and not SM. Just write the facts of the last few weeks and that you are willing to work with him but you will not deal with SM due to her past actions. At least you know he read it and you have proof you are trying to work with him.

[Simplydad]

Unfortunately I have no way of contacting Dad without going through stepmom.  I have his home number, and her cell number.  His work number is to the main office and they have told me they cannot connect the call offshore without there being a medical emergency.  Daughter was so sure he would call and this really is awful for her.  I have read up on PAS, which I am accused of, and I do not see the correlation.  Can someone enlighten me?  I am worried about hurting daughter unintentionally.

My appreciation to those dealing with PBFH because I feel like that is what I am doing.   

The PAS claim is without merit.  Your Ex will need to be very careful with the claims they make.   

PAS is considered a form of child abuse. So if your Ex makes that claim here and tries to get it before a judge be better make sure he has all of his ducks in a row or he could be a lot of trouble.  In Texas (and I am sure many other places) there were a lot of false abuse allegations against one parent or another. I am sure many of us have heard or read some of the horror stories concerning a parent facing false allegations of abuse.

Texas has taken a stance towards parents that make false allegations and could be in quite a bit of trouble if they make any.  There section in the Texas Family Code that specifically covers this in custody issues.  Initially it will start off as a contempt charge but I highly doubt anyone wants to stand before a judge and expect things to go their way after they made a false abuse allegation.

Sec. 153.013.  FALSE REPORT OF CHILD ABUSE.  (a)  If a party to a pending suit affecting the parent-child relationship makes a report alleging child abuse by another party to the suit that the reporting party knows lacks a factual foundation, the court shall deem the report to be a knowingly false report.
(b)  Evidence of a false report of child abuse is admissible in a suit between the involved parties regarding the terms of conservatorship of a child.
(c)  If the court makes a finding under Subsection (a), the court shall impose a civil penalty not to exceed $500.



Added by Acts 1995, 74th Leg., ch. 751, Sec. 28, eff. Sept. 1, 1995.  Amended by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 786, Sec. 2, eff. Sept. 1, 1997.

[daisygirl0825]

Thank you for the responses.  I feel much better because I did not understand the PAS accusation.

SimplyDad -- Thank You!!  You are such a wealth of information. 

Ocean -- Letter has been sent and am waiting for a response from Dad.

We have decided to take a wait and see approcah because he has decided not to see her any longer.  Last time he did this it was 9 months of no contact.  The time before that was 15 months of no contact.