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Messages - ocean

Pages: 12 3 ... 272
Custody Issues / Re: Okay to Ask?
« on: Feb 28, 2018, 04:13:53 PM »
No, I do not think she should show you her medical records but you can ask "we know you have surgery tomorrow, regarding the exchange on xx, who will be driving child x to the exchange spot?"
Is it far, can you offer to pick up at curb side for a few weeks? You can say, we are willing to come to house , curb side and you can send xx out to car at 4pm.
Good luck!

Also, ask for court ordered counseling with you and the kids if it is really bad. This will get them in a room with you at least and a person who can steer the direction and get them talking without mom interrupting.
As far as finding a lawyer, go to family court and sit and watch in waiting room. Some courts are even open (by law as long as you are not going to testify you can be in the room too but many dont have chairs or set up to handle it). Watch and see who is good with other clients. You can also call a few lawyers and have a free or small fee first meeting and interview them. If you interview them, your ex can never use them, tactic some use.

DO you have a court date already? If not, you can file yourself too at family court for visitation only (Before you file for divorce as divorce may take years......). Family court will be cheaper and then you can take that order and merge it into the divorce later. This will get your ex out of the visitation conversation if there is a set schedule when to see them. Also email or text your ex once or twice a week asking "I miss the kids and they need both their parents in their life,  when can you meet me to see them, maybe at the library or mcdonald for an hour? Let me know which day would be good." This gives you documentation to show you are trying with your ex. If the kids are old enough to have cell phones or social media...text them "dad love you, call anytime"  " how was school, just checking on you, love dad".  You can send them things in the mail, or drop off if ex allows....Valentines day package ?   If ex answers meanly, ignore, screen shot it, save messages.
Good luck!

Custody Issues / Re: Meaning?
« on: Jan 26, 2018, 03:52:21 PM »
Not sure but prob just making her statement for future court dates (not necessarily that they will appeal or go to next level just that she does not agree with this new order).
Why did she have to sign??? Wasn't a judges order/decision? Weird, here we get decision and that is it, no one signs as it went to judge for a decision and not an agreement between the parties.
Also sounds that she will not appeal now as she prob should have written, do not agree and will be appealing to go to next court?"
My husband taught me (but took years for me to get), deal with what you have in front of you now. You won, as long as she is following new order who cares. Deal with the next blow when it happens, for now...enjoy life...cant always be about court.

Custody Issues / Re: Custody
« on: Dec 20, 2017, 05:34:25 PM »
Great! Did mom's time change? You have primary is good for school, appointments but will it change mom's behavior?

Custody Issues / Re: Custody
« on: Dec 19, 2017, 05:51:39 PM »
Wow....what exactly does that mean? Visitation changing??  9 week wait for ruling in just crazy as usual....

Child Support Issues / Re: child support issue
« on: Nov 21, 2017, 07:08:50 PM »
Can you take the new custody order and drop it off at your child support office? Here there are a few offices around the state you can walk in and talk to someone. Or send that new order , overnight with signature to the child support office and request the stop garnishment immediately. I am surprised the judge did not order the stop at the last court hearing or at least tell ex to give you back money. Usually they go back to the date of filing. So whatever date you went and filed, it would be back dated to then. She will then owe you that money if she cashed the checks. You could also request by certified mail to your ex to reimburse you when she receives checks as you have child now (may work). Or wait for that next hearing and get the stop order and bring to child office. You can also call their office and ask if they got the last set of paperwork and ask/demand you talk to a supervisor to stop if faster as you have child NOW.
As for mom paying, you would have to file for that, if you file now they usually connect cases together and both may be heard same day. Also before you go to court, have child support office send you a complete account of payments (or print off online account-some states you have access to your account) so you can show judge you have been paying and ex has been getting money. Judge may feel for you and give you credit but don't hold your breathe.

The EOB's have over $20,000 of our of pocket expenses in them (seems high for copays)? Do the kids have secondary insurance? Is their insurance state/fed program?

Go see a local lawyer for a free consultation about this. If you have it in your order then you "may" be held responsible. Our ex did this to us for about 8 years worth and judge had her show us proof she paid the bills, (cancelled check or receipt) and then we counter-filed a modification that added time limits. Ex now has 30 days to send us info or the bill will not be split. Some orders have the first $XX "free" so the splitting of a $20 goes away.

If she brings it to court, she will have to explain and produce certified receipts of sending you requests for payment. Really depends on judge and the feelings.....stay calm, and say she never told me about these bills, have not shown proof she paid them, and they are 12 years old. I will be happy to start paying my share from this year forward. Hiring a lawyer may cost you more than her bill.

We made ex send

Visitation Issues / Re: Domestic situation...
« on: Nov 07, 2017, 02:20:00 AM »
Mom should go with GF after she goes to police and each file an emergency protective order for the kids (and themselves?). The police may do it for the GF since he hurt her but your SD can file since kids were there at that incident. Do it as an emergency order so she gets it immediately and he is served that day. Since there is no custody order, she does not have to send children. Have the school on look out that he does not pick them up from school. Maybe put the kids in counseling to deal with this and set up a plan for the kids to see each other so they do not think what dad said was true. What state are you in? If your SD can not afford a lawyer she can see legal aid in family court to help her.

Custody Issues / Re: Time in Ruling
« on: Nov 06, 2017, 03:55:04 PM »
Can be few weeks. You can call the clerk office each day and see if you can pick up the ruling so you do not have to wait for the mail. Some states have it computerized (not my state so we go pick it up) and can see when a ruling is made by logging into online account. Let us know the outcome....Sometimes lawyers see the judge and they tell them their ruling ahead of typing it, we found out once that way and our lawyer called us.

Father's Issues / Re: Unmarried and about to pop
« on: Nov 05, 2017, 10:11:34 AM »
Do you have health insurance? If you do, you can add baby at birth and it will be covered or she can get baby medicaid at birth.
The ask who the father is and sometimes some states will go after father, especially if a child support case starts up.

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