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Messages - ocean

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First you should not be comparing the relationship with his father to your boyfriend. Children can always have another person that loves them. You thinking about them all is great and encouraging the time between them is important.

Most kids do not want to get up, dressed and forced out of the house at a certain time. Child might think he is missing things at your house when he is with dad. Dad needs time to bond and sometimes that does not mean he must bring child out and be a "disney" dad (takes them to fun places or out to eat every single visit).

Talk to dad and express child's concerns nicely. "just wanted you to know that xx had a hard time getting ready to go, maybe you can talk to him a bit this visit. I want him to have as many people in his life that love him but he may need some encouragement from all of us. My boyfriend is not a replacement of you but another person in his life....." If this is dad's only child then he may need some "parenting" tips as to what child likes to do. Depending on the heath situation where you live, child can spend time with cousins/family from his dad side on dad's time.

As for child, almost same conversation and encourage him to bring a game/toy /activity to bring on the visits. Tell him he can talk to his dad about things.

Hang in there, hopefully dad keeps visiting and you all remain able to get along for the sake of child.

General Issues / Re: Mom trying to push me out
« on: Jun 03, 2020, 02:56:11 PM »
I am not sure you should up and move when mom is not being forthcoming on where she is going and how long that stay will be. Do you have a parenting plan in place for long visits when school is not in session (which is most of the country right now...). If you do not want to send child on plane, you can go there until covid is more under control. He should be coming to you for most of his school breaks including summer for long distance.

You can email/send certified letter to school asking them for copies of his educational record and if/when a school transfer is requested to send you a copy. That paper will be signed by mom telling the old school to send records to new school. If you have been talking to teacher, ask them if mom signed him out of school yet (to leave school).
Hang in there, few years, son will be more vocal about what he wants, then a few more years will be in college and on their own. Many times in HS years is gets crazy as the child is working and maybe into sports and activities that does not allow him to miss time from home state. Most of the country is using skype type free video chats/face time apps to talk to their family/friends/co-workers. Try to set a schedule of when you can video chat with child and keep in touch as often as you can. Send care packages as surprises for him to show him you care. Keep up with his new teacher and follow along on school district website/parent portal/grading system.
Good luck!

Custody Issues / Re: Contest the GAL recommendations
« on: Jun 01, 2020, 09:12:11 PM »
Your son is 15? Usually judges rely on GAL recommendations and they interview the child and what the child wants , especially at age 15.
50/50 usually needs parents to get along as it involves school days/weeks. What have you been doing so far?

Visitation Issues / Re: Offering alcohol to 7 year old
« on: Mar 03, 2020, 05:33:38 PM »
Are you in the middle of court right now?

Custody Issues / Re: Child Support
« on: Dec 17, 2019, 02:32:55 PM »
So he is no longer working there?File against son (ugh) and they will threaten his license or a few nights in jail. As soon as you find out the next job, give info to CS office and see if they can at least get a payment or two in before he quits again. Sad you are still going through this....

Custody Issues / Re: Child Support
« on: Dec 16, 2019, 05:04:53 PM »
Have you tried a strong worded letter to the child support state address (enforcement)? Something like you know ex works at xx and that the employer is not sending in the court ordered amount as per there order? I had this issue but it was with the feds social security. I wrote a strong letter stating that the two agencies need to get their act together or I was bringing it to court. They fixed the issue. LOLI know my state has a letter to send to the employer and then it is up to employer to say person does not work there.
I would think thought that def yes, you can sue the employer for not taking out the wages as per court order but might have to come from the state since they are the ones collecting? Might be worth an appt with the state child support office. We can do at certain times and just show up or make appt.Good luck!

Visitation Issues / Re: Can't speak to child privately
« on: Dec 04, 2019, 03:07:02 PM »
Pick you battles.....They are getting older and soon will have cell phones and will walk away on their own. You can text them soon too.

You could file in court to have mother not interfere with phone calls (but will it actually stop her)?You can ask to have counseling and have calls when kids go to the office.
Send them letters with the phone calls so they get mail, another form of communication.

Do you have contact with the kids school/teachers? Many schools/teachers have websites and apps they talk to parents on (Remind app is one of them used here). Ask the teachers if you can be added so you have info to talk to kids about.
Keep trying and just ignore ex trying to butt in. Talk about school, activities, upcoming next trips....
You can try sending ex a certified letter stating "ex, I have been trying to communicate with the kids but you have been taking over the conversations when I am trying to speak to them. If you continue to interfere with the communications with the kids, I will be forced to seek court intervention. The kids need both parents in their life and I try my best to keep communication open even with the long distances between us. "  Something like that....but pick your battles and only you know if you should spend time and money on this.

Good luck!

Visitation Issues / Re: Can't speak to child privately
« on: Dec 01, 2019, 03:03:05 PM »
How old are the children?

Father's Issues / Re: Parental Alienation
« on: Nov 19, 2019, 02:33:33 PM »
Wow! we could make that same exact video....scary and sad. The kids lose in the end and the PB never see what they did.

Father's Issues / Re: Travelling outside the country with the child
« on: Sep 11, 2019, 02:58:55 PM »
Hi,You would have to ask for a change in visitation to include a specific vacation. Something like: "father would like to bring child on vacation to xxx for xx days next summer. He is willing to give the mother/courts full itenrary with flight information, daily access to child by phone/facetime. This would be in the best interests of child to see father's family. Mother will give father passport for this trip.
Not sure if you will win this but you can file yourself usually without court fees at the family court where your papers were filed the very first time. Good luck!

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