Messages

1

Child Support Issues / Re: External income

« on: Today at 12:54:16 pm »

Little confused, if mom is paying half the expenses from her house who cares if it is coming from step-dad check or mom's check?

Since there is no court order, the courts will treat it as a new case. Dad can request that he pay half of one activity per season/year. If there is a huge expense that mom has solely been paying he can try to show that she has been paying for the last xx years but probably will wind up splitting it if the salaries of the bio parents are still the same. Most states do not count step-parents income, some request it but we can whited out my info on all forms and the totals as in my state step-parents have no legal rights. There are state laws not national laws. Look up your state. What he is giving now is going to be considered a gift. Have him pay directly to the activity and get receipts. Tell mom that dad will only pay to the activity directly so she needs to tell him when it is due. Until there is a court order, what he pays mother may not count so be careful.

If your state allows step parent contribution, then dad may be responsible for less than 50% of the activities because his household makes less.

2

Visitation Issues / Re: Father demanding makeup time

« on: May 21, 2013, 04:16:23 pm »

Depends on the wording of the order. If it stated dad must finish classes in order to get xyz...then she could.

3

Custody Issues / Re: Parenting study ordered

« on: May 21, 2013, 04:13:53 pm »

Try not to get frazzled with the lawyer, have a little speech ready if you can get to talk and say exactly what you told us:
"I do not see the need for a parenting study as we have been co-parenting since xx. The only issue we can not agree on is which school daughter should attend so I filed in court. I would like her to be able to go to xx school where her sister is currently in grade x. She could ride the bus and have friends from the neighborhood on my parenting days and her father can keep the same schedule that has already been working and court ordered. He would like her in a private school in a town that is not where either of us are. This has been the only issue until I filed and then his lawyer filed for full custody/parenting study. I request the courts make a decision as soon as possible on the school issue so daughter can be signed up and attend the screenings and school orientation".

If judge is looking like he will order the parenting study say something like:
"I would like the courts to assign a neutral person to be fair to all parties and not xx who the father/lawyer have ties to already".

Good luck!

4

Visitation Issues / Re: What is custodial interference...

« on: May 18, 2013, 06:37:58 pm »

If dad is only here for a certain amount of time and then going back to work far away, some choices:
Email/text him:
"Children would like to see you, I offered you Thurs- Sunday but the kids need to be back by 8pm so they can go to school on Monday. If you can not do this, maybe come out to them for a dinner night. If you can not make arrangements to get them back to the house, Sunday then (1. I am willing to meet you at XX (half way?) at Xpm  OR 2.. they can not come this weekend and will wait until you get home and follow the court order for holidays/summer visits.
Please let me know by this Wednesday your plans so I can make arrangements and have girls ready."

Pick 1 or 2 but if the girls have not seen him in 2 years maybe he can come for a dinner visit first and then maybe take them 1-2 nights?

PS You should not be dealing with step-mom especially since he is away. No reason too. After this visit it will be a while again if he is home for the summer visit. Ignore her and email "I will only be discussing the kids schedules/issues with their father". Tell him the same thing.

5

Visitation Issues / Re: What is custodial interference...

« on: May 18, 2013, 02:04:47 pm »

Do you have a court order? Follow the court order. Custodial interference is when you refuse to follow court order and not allowing visitation.   Send him an email that you will be following the court order so he can pick up at xx and drop off at xx as of page x line x in our court. The kids need to be dropped back off on Sunday 8pm so they can go to school on Monday.


Call the police station by him and ask what they would do if kids were not retuned by the court ordered time. You would need to bring your court papers with you to prove they are supposed to be back with you.

6

Custody Issues / Re: What can I do?

« on: May 17, 2013, 04:32:15 am »

If child went on visit, he would not be able to keep child. You can file papers in family court custody and visitation (parenting papers). This will detail who has custody when. Most courts say joint legal custody, meaning- you both make major decisions about child (school, major surgery). Then the courts will make a parenting schedule on when child goes with which parent.

The judge will ask you why you are witholding child from father. Until you two can become better co parents, a court order schedule would probably be best for a little while. Then you can always switch times/days if you both agree down the line. Try to always put child first. Someone said on here a long time ago, "Love your child more than you hate your ex". Child needs both families (unless there is abuse/neglect to child). Try not to say anything about the other parent in front of child as they hear and pick up on everything. Allow them to love the their other family. The more people that love child the better. They may not parent the way you want but he has the right to raise his child too. There are co-parenting classes that maybe he is willing to take with you (library, family court house, ask for a list).

Good luck, you have many many years ahead of you.

7

Custody Issues / Re: What can I do?

« on: May 16, 2013, 04:55:39 pm »

Father has rights, as he is one of the child's parents too. If you choose not to allow the child near him, the courts can make you and make a court ordered schedule. It would be best to work with dad and come up with a schedule that works for both of you. Fathers can parent their child and should be able to. The child was not part of your break up and deserves both parents and grandparents in their life.

If you do not want the courts involved, work with him. Or either parent can ask the courts to make a parenting plan. Fathers get over night visits, vacation weeks, summer visits, holidays and weekly time ordered by the judge. Maybe both of you can go to a mediator to help you come up with a schedule. Then his parents would see child on his time.

8

Visitation Issues / Re: Father demanding makeup time

« on: May 14, 2013, 05:05:24 pm »

I agree with you. He missed due to him not finishing the mandatory class. It sounds like you are still going to court and divorce so this will be addressed in the next round of hearings. Since he finished the classes, he will eventually be given more and more time until it is the standard for your area or you both come up to a mutual agreement. Pick you battles, maybe not agree to "make-up" time but offer one dinner visit a week instead, gives you a night "off" and gives him more time.  Not sure how old the kids are but you do not want to be in court the next xx years. It is never one time in court to settle anything. Try to co-parent, through email, online calendar, text. You have proof of what is said and you do not have to talk to him. Good luck.

9

Visitation Issues / Re: Can she do this?

« on: May 12, 2013, 08:19:54 pm »

She can not change the court order without going to court.
1. Agree to an informal change (and yes watch the overnights as that is what the courts count for child support)
2. Tell her you will be following the court order. Period.

She can asks the courts for a change in parenting time since her job changed hours. They will grant that, what the new schedule will be , who knows.

Where is child going to go when she is at work in afternoons? That part needs to be fixed or she needs to find arrangements when she is now at work on her days. (guess this is a young child and not in school ?)

What she does with her job or money is her issue. Be willing to work with her a little. She can have child after work until 8pm then back to your house to sleep a few nights (dinner visits).

10

Custody Issues / Re: Why isn't this covered in support?

« on: May 12, 2013, 08:13:18 pm »

Strictly by state formula. If you can prove a big difference, you can ask for the magistrate/judge to go off guidelines but new spouses income is not used in many states. Once you get your first order, it is VERY hard to change. So if you sign first order, you know your child support obligations.

We had opposite where ex decided she wanted to ask for more child support because she moved to a different house and wanted an increase in child support to cover the increase in housing cost. Judge through it out before we even had a hearing. Reason: mother knew expenses and amount of child support before she went into contract with new house. This is not a change of circumstance. Dismissed.