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Does anyone have experience/knowledge of Alabama's Central Distribution Center initiating one of their 4 yr auto review of child support obligations?

Thanks

LizaLou

http://decisions.courts.state.ny.us/ad3/Decisions/2005/95865.pdf

This links you to a page where a victom of PAS was relieved of paying child support due to the alienators actions.  Not sure what to think about this.

LizaLou

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Does anyone have experience/knowledge of Alabama's Central Distribution Center initiating one of their 4 yr auto review of child support obligations?

Thanks

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

Alabama divorce in 2000.  (We live in AL – BM lives in Florida.) BM had custody until 2004 when SS was kicked out for wanting to live with DH.  DH got permanent custody in 2005.  The custody battle wasn't pleasant because BM changed her mind and wanted SS back.  Court papers give BM equal access to school.  When DH registered SS in school he made sure they knew to fully cooperate with BM.

There were no school problems until we inquired about SS's pre-paid college.  We found out she cashed it in after he came to live with us.  (You may remember me posting you over Christmas.)  BM is now accusing SS of drug abuse and claims DH is ignoring it.   She says the school must act because she can't parent from Florida.   SS is NOT using drugs and NEVER has.  We cooperated with the school's review and they agree SS is NOT using drugs.   BTW, she never told DH of her drug concerns-we heard it from school.  Anyway, she will not let it go. BM is harassing them and threatening to sue if they don't take her side.  Today, the school was contacted by the Governor's office (yes really) because of her complaints.  

We usually ignore the BM because bizarre behavior and false accusations are the norm.  But this is new to the school and they are asking DH to stop her.  Also, this is different, because her false allegations now fall on an innocent boy (age 17).

1.  Is there anything that can be done by DH or the School?


Thanks ever so much.

LizaLou

Soc,

Divorce is in AL.  Parents bought a State pre-paid tuition college plan  during the marriage.  Plan only allows one "owner" which was the mom on behalf of the son.  Fast forward 10 years or so.  Divorce takes place and parents agree to split remaining college expenses in the settlement agreement.  Initially mom gets custody of son.   About 3 years later at age 15 son wants to live with dad.  After a court battle, dad gets custody of son.  Mom disowns the son and either cashed in the college plan or transfered it to a neice (not sure yet).  Son starts college in the fall.

Contempt doesn't sound right, but isn't there something terrible wrong here?   Did she have the right to give his college away?

What type of action gets filed to recover or repair the "paid" college situation?  Is son out of luck?

Thanks a bunch!  Hope your having a get New Year's.

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

 What is a borrower occupancy rider to a mortgage?

Thanks

LizaLou

Soc,

I'm starting to think about my Will. I have joint legal and sole physical custody in AL.  I plan to leave all to my DH with the understanding (or written directions) he will hold assets in trust for DD until she graduates from college (she's 10). Or if DH dies, a financial custodian would hold the assets until she graduates from college.  Relatively speaking, it's not that much (rental property, stock, and life insurance).

My goal is to incentivize DD to complete college because her dad does not and would not support college goals.  I, alone, already bought the pre-paid college plan to make it easy.  I know it's her call, but.... there's a carrot waiting at the end.

1.  Is my estate legally responsible for child support to DD's Dad until she reaches the age of majority or can I just leave it to the judgement of DH or the financial custodian?  

Thanks

LizaLou

I'm in Alabama trying to buy an 1954 chevy from my Dad and Aunt (jointly inherited from grandfather/Aunt is executor).  There is no title due to age of the chevy.  Everyone is cool with my purchase.  

When they inherited the auto is was in fine working order.  Now it is nothing but a shell, rusted out, motor gone, transmission gone, seats, steering column all gone).  While the condition is heartbreaking, it's not the issue.  The issue is getting the bill of sale worded correctly. Also, I don't want to get stuck paying back taxes as it's been "off the road" since 1988.  

1.  Is it still an "auto" considering it's condition?  

2.  With the motor gone, can I put mileage unknown?

3.  How can I protect myself from back taxes?

Thanks a million.

LizaLou

I was just reading the article in the archives that said don't let CPS or police in your home without a warrant and a question came to mind.

1.  Assuming they do have a warrant, can I video or take pictures of them during the search without their permission?

Thanks

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

A couple of years ago I had a biopsy done.  I NOW really need the pathology report from his files. I called his office and was told I could not have it unless the Doctor approved it's release.

1.  Is this not my record?  Why do I need his permission for my record?

2.  Are they blowing smoke, or can he deny me the pathology report?

3.  They said it would be a couple of weeks before I'd get an answer.  I don't have a couple of weeks.  Why are they making this so hard?

Thanks in advance.

LizaLou

Soc,

We now have temp custody of OSS.  The court order says she gets Thanksgiving and part of Christmas.  DH emailed her last month to arrange for air transportation (DH pays).  She responded that she did not want to see OSS at Thanksgiving and that the "court" had not decided about Christmas.  Her entire email implied she knew nothing of the Sep custody hearing even though her attorney attended (she did not) and it was in actuality a stipulated settlement agreement beween the parties ratified by the judge.  Her attorney is the one who typed up and submitted the order for the Judge signature.

Because of the confusion, DH sent a certified letter to her (and her attorney) asking if she planned to exercised her Thanksgiving and Christmas visitation because we planned to buy airline tickets now while they are less expensive.  We gave a deadline but she never responded.  The court order requires us to provide round trip airfare.  What do we do if she waits until the 13th hour to exercise visitation.  

1.  Do we just suck up the approx $800 ticket (assuming availability) knowing we could have purchased it now for less than $150 or does she lose visitation because she did not respond by the deadline?

2.  Is there something else we can do to protect ourselves from unnecessary disruption and expense during the holidays?

Thanks

LizaLou

Soc,

I noted your recent post were you said a Death Certificate was a public record.  This implies to me anybody can get a copy.  

A while back I had reason to get a great uncle's death certificate.  The state of Alabama refused me because my relationship was not close enough.  I had to get a notorized request, detailing why it was needed, from another great uncle in order to obtain the record.   Thank goodness Uncle Ed is living (he's 84) or I'd be out of luck uh?

Is it a Alabama thing or is that what you mean by public record?

Thanks  

LizaLou

Soc,

Could I send you a private email? To ask the question, I would have to relate too much detail to be safe.   The problem is directly related to his ex and her most recent shenanigans.

Thank you,

LizaLou

Soc,

I'm trying to grasp a concept.

DH filed papers last month to decrease child support (filed for custody in July) because OSS now lives with us (family kicked him out). As I understand it DH is required to keep sending the full amount of CS even though BM no longer has both children until the judge changes the order.

1.  Assuming we continue to send the full amount required for 2 children and don't get a hearing for 6 months, does the BM get to keep OSS portion even though he was not living with her OR does she return the portion funds as the date of the DH filed for modification?

I thought I read here that once child support was paid it became the property of the custodial parent never to be returned, i.e., no backward credit.

I ask the question, because I also understood that when one asked for an INCREASE and you wait 6 months for a hearing, the custodial parent gets back child support from the date of the filing (automatic arreage).

2.  Why would an increase go backwards but not a decrease?  

Just a little confused.  Hope I have not broken any of your guidelines.

Thanks

Lizalou

Dear Soc,

Life IS stranger than fiction...

We are in AL and BM is in FL with kids, she has custody and DH as visitation( usually denied of course). After several appeals and delays BM finally showed up Friday for her 15 day contempt of court jail sentance in AL.  In July DH  filed for custody of OSS because he is adament about not living with his mother anymore - nothing from the Judge or BM's attorney yet.  When the boys  returned home after summer, thier entire family in Florida (except YSS) went beserk vacillating between verbal abuse and the silent treatment to bring him back into line.

Friday/Saturday Hurricane Charlie decides to blow across FL wrecking havoc.  Grandparents show up to take care of kids on Sunday and check for damage (no water or power).  They live about 2 hours away.  Why they weren't already there with Mom gone, we may never know.  Anyway, OSS (15) is "disowned" because he will not go on TV to speak bad about DH in attempts to get BM out of jail.  The neighbor (adult male) threatens to slap Paul and Grandparents kick him out.  OSS calls DH and begs for help.  Grandma tells DH she wants the boy gone and agrees to buy an airline ticket ONLY IF DH pays her back.  I don't think they would have really made him homeless, but they would have continued to make his life hell.

OSS arrived last night safe and sound.  DH expressed mailed money today for the ticket.

1.  By helping OSS leave without the BM's consent, did we do anything wrong that could get us in trouble with the Judge?

Thanks ever so much,

Lizalou

Dear Soc,

My grandmother has a living trust naming me as trustee for after her death.  The trust does not have a separate tax ID, its uses her SSN.  Currently everything is "owned" by the trust except some stock which is still in her name individually.  The trust plans for the stock.  I am also the exectuor of her estate and her will does NOT speak to the stock -- I think because its supposed to be covered in the trust.


1.  What are the possible impacts due to the stock being outside the trust?

2.  Does the trust need to "own" everything before her death to be part of the trust later?

3.  If it's outside the trust, does that mean I have to pay taxes on it?


Thanks a Bunch,

Lizalou

Dear Soc,

DH pays child support by personal check.

The last contempt of court order stated the CP was to provide transportation to and from our home for 12 months.  CP refused to drive all the way and demanded DH meet her halfway. After giving her advance notice, DH bought airline tickets for the return trip when she again refused to come get the kids.  So, to our thinking she owes him for airplane tickets.

In the past, the judge ordered the CP to pay DH back for court costs by withholding child support until the debt was cleared.

1.  Would DH be in violation of child support order if he reduced the next payment by the cost of the tickets even though there is no specific court order for this payment method or is it a wash?  

Thanks

LizaLou

Your were right!!!!!!!  The Judge did not allow BM to serve her contempt of court sentance via work release in other state.

It looks like she will be in our local county jail for her birthday.  Wish it didn't have to be, but we (all) were left with no other options.

Thanks for all you do.

LizaLou

Soc,

Back again..... It never ends.

Last July BM was brought before the judge for blocking visitation.  True to his word, the judge had a Deputy in the courtroom to take her into custody for contempt.  When the BM saw this, she settled quickly ouside the court room agreeing to provide transportation for 12 months among other things - all of which were read into the record in front of the Judge.   In August the Judge issued an order stating:

"For the next twelve (12) months, all visitation between the minor children and the father shall be done by the mother providing all transportation or paying for all transportation of the minor children from the residence in Florida to the father's residence in Alabama."

The kids are scheduled to go home in Aug.

It is DH's position that she is required to provide their transportation home in August because that's when the order was signed.

BM's position is that they are back to sharing 50/50 because the verbal agreement was made in July.


1.  What say ye, which is correct?

Thanks

LizaLou

Case is in AL - BM has custody and lives in FL.

BM has suffered 4 contempt of court rulings against her for blocking visitation within 3 years or so.  The last one was in Dec 03 where she was sentenced to 15 days in jail (AL county jail).  In Jan 04, she simultaneously asked for reconsideration and for the Judge to recuse himself because he was biased against the BM and because he is in cahoots with DH's attorney for the purposes of attorney fees.  (To date she has paid over $5K of our attorney fees.)  The judge refused on both counts and she was to start her jail time when the kids arrived for summer visitation.  In May she asked to push the start date out to Aug because of her military reserve (COL) duties during the summer.  He agreed but said no more delays.

Now.... She is asking to serve her time in FL under a work release program, alleging financial difficulties if she is not allowed to work (Federal employee).  IF she has financial difficulties, it is not from an income perspective ($90K per year), it is because of poor judgment in financial decisions.  

1. In your experience, have you ever seen a judge allow something like this?

2.  As a disinterested 3rd party, is this a reasonable request?

Thanks

LizaLou

Soc,

Back during the summer the judge appointed a psychologist to evaluate 2 children.  The Dr. came back with PAS by the mother.  Mother has been sanctioned to 15 days in jail for blocking visitation (to be served in the summer - Mother & kids reside in FL we live in AL).

Over the past couple of months older SS has expressed desires to live with father because he refuses to participate anymore in PAS behaviors of  the BM.  The BM went crazy and the rest of this family is treating him like a traitor.  

our attorney said to take SS back to psychologist during the spring break visitation.  We did this morning.  At the end of the appointment the Dr. told DH that he was meeting with the Judge and our attorney this afternoon.  He said the mother did not need custody of children because she had mental problems and implied meeting today would be about changing custody.  our attorney said he was informed to attend the meeting and that's all he knew.

The mother is pro se and back in FL.

1.   Do you have a clue as to what is going on?

2.  Can they just change custody without notice to the BM?

Thanks

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

Divorce Decree states DH will pay 50% of reasonable college expenses for up to 4 years of college for full time students until age 22.   It also states the DH will be involved in any major financial decisions.

1.  Is auto insurance a reasonable college expense?

2.  Even if the kid has a full time job, states he/she is emancipated (age 20) and take their own tax exemption?

3.  Does in make any difference that the kid independently, sold the older model car paid for by parents and financed a new car without consulting the DH thus forcing higher insurance costs?

Thanks,

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

I'm back with more questions about DH's ex (we are in AL).  She has just filed, pro se, papers requesting that the judge be recused because he does not put the children first and because he is in cahoots with our attorney (her other claims are beyond ridiculous).

Her document annotates service to our attorney and to Family Court, i.e. our judge.  But the tense of the document makes it lseem she was sending it a third party for a decision.

1. Who makes a recusal decision?

2.  If our Judge makes the decision and refuses to recuse himself can she appeal somewhere else?


Thanks

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

We anticipate the DH's ex will file for an increase in child support in retailation for his filing for joint custody, temporary custody if she gets deployed and a revised visitation schedule.  Thus, we expect she will want our tax return. BTW we are in AL.

1.  Is there any benefit to filing our taxes separately?

2.  If we do file separatley, does it matter who takes the credit for the mortgage interest?  (If he takes the credit the refund is larger and the bulk of it will come from his return.)

3.  If we file joint, can I excise any and all info about me and my child?
 or must the document be complete and unaltered?

4.  Is the tax return really necessary or is the W-2 good enough (there is no other income)?

Thanks.  Your the best.

LizaLou

I guy in my office said he was going to unadopt his adult adopted son because he was drug addict and did nothing but cause them grief.

Can he really do that?

LizaLou

Soc,

The BM refused to put SS on the airplane for the Christmas visit.  She already had the ticket DH bought but refused to use it.  Instead she drove 12 hours to deliver the SS -- 6 hours late by the 12:00 p.m. requirement.

  We are hoping the following language in a bilateral agreement will help for next time.  We don't really expect her to sign the agreement but we thought we'd give it a try as we are offering to accommodate some of her desired changes in the visitation schedule.  

1.  Air Travel:  The parties agree to provide the logistics to and from the airport in the event that the parties, either together or individually, provide airline tickets for the minor children for the purposes of visitation.

2.  As currently written the transfer times are 12:00 p.m.  Do you think we need to add language about allowing time adjustments since we have no control over the airline schedule?  I'd hate for her to refuse because the airplane arrives at 10 a.m. or something.

Thanks for your input.  Your are the best!

LizaLou

Soc,

I saw your recent post about intercepting phone conversastions in Florida and need a bit of clarification.  All my questions are premised with we're in Alabama and the ex is in Florida.

1.  May I from AL tape phone conversation with a person in FL without thier knowledge and use it in an Alabama court?

2.  Assuming I give them notice the conversation is being taped may I use it in court even if they don't give permission to tape because it's an Alabama Court?

3.  Absent an affirmative "permission not granted" from the person in Florida can it be assumed permission was given if I give notice of the taping and the conversation continues?

Thanks ever so much!

LizaLou

Dear Soc,

From your experience, what do Judges generally do, given the following facts:


Our Judge in a previous contempt finding for denying visitation ordered the BM to provide door to door interstate transportation to the BF (no longer meet half-way) as well as 15 days in jail (suspended).

At Thanksgiving the BM's commercial travel arrangements cut the visit in half and the BM specifically refused to allow the BF to transport the child by auto as he was visiting their city anyway when visitation was supposed to have started.

We filed contempt papers with the court.  

1.  Do Judges general say half is better than none and find in her favor?

2.  Is VOLUNTARY school a mitigating circumstance in her favor?

Thanks for all you do.

LizaLou

For the most part my ex is a walk in the park.  But last night he really frustrated me.

Last term DD (age 8)  hid her failing math papers under her bed.  But, the report card of course gave her away (D in math).  As punishment, she cannot watch TV during the week (with a few exceptions) for this term.  We developed a plan to take the fear of of math and she starts tutoring next week.  So I see the issue as closed.

Well that's not good enough.  Dad wants her to drop out of Brownies - her only activity other than Church.

This weekend is Dad's but DD has a special Brownie function Saturday from 8 - 12.  I offered to transport her or swap weekends his choice.  He said no on both counts.  He told her If she'd rather go to Brownies than see him, then she just loses the weekend.  He left the decision up to "you and your mom".   DD is so confused because she wants to do both.  Which is easy to understand from a child's perspective.

Just this month, he declined to participate in the He and Me Nature Walk and  the Me and my Guy Dance/Party.  DD predicted he would not participate and she was correct.  Both events are next month, but he says she doen't need to go and should stay home (my house not his because the events are not on his weekend).    This was offered free and clear - no strings.  All he had to do was give her his time.

He also said she needed more punishment for a lie she told almost 2 months ago.  She told a neighbor a story that ended in them going out to eat instead of coming directly home after school.   Her  punishment was to withdraw the cost of the meal from her PRIZED savings account, pay for the meal and apologize to the neighbor.  She also lost our  (mine & DH)  trust.  For 2 weeks we tortured her with "trust" issues.  Checking up behind, searching her book bag, notebooks - anything that just bugged the heck out of her.  She hated it.  We stopped after the point was made.

I found out last night for the past 3 or 4  months he has been punishing her for misbehavior at putt putt by not taking her anywhere.  She just sits a his house or goes to Church.   She is no longer allowed to visit his parents who live next door because "they" let her do what ever she wants.    For example, taking her shoes off and walking around in her socks.  For watching what ever THEY are watching on TV and for eating popcorn that was OFFERED to her.    He said she watches too much TV so she's not allowed to watch any over there and that she eats too much.
IF she visit's GPs, she must be supervised my either him or his wife.

Granted she likes TV but with no kids around or adults too busy to spend some time what are her options?  She takes books but you can only read so much.  My rule has always been you eat what's put in front of you so she is not picky eater.  She does have an healthy appetite but does not eat much junk food and she's NOT overweight.  So what's the problem?

In the past, he as wanted me punish DD for him.  Maybe I should have if this is what he does?  Of course, I don't really mean that.  He has no clue how his actions are affecting his relationship with DD.  
No insult to those who don't have children, but unless you have'em you can't imagine it.  Both my ex and his wife (no children) seem be on a soapbox saying my kid's never.... fill in the blank... when they have no idea what they are talking about.  They want her to be perfect.

He said all this to both of us .  My response was minimal because I didn't want her to see we  were not unified in her interest and because I had to leave for an appointment.  

Dad has visitation on Tuesday evenings and just stays at our house when he wants - like last night (and that's ok-he was invited  because he lives 40 minutes away).  Well, after I left DH said he continued to rag DD for 30 more minutes.  After Dad left, Dear Dear Husband (DDH) put her in front of the TV and told her to relax and enjoy.  He said she was so stressed she was almost crying.    

To end this, DD grandfather is taking her to the Me and My Guy stuff and I plan to speak to her Dad offline.

Thanks for listening.

LizaLou