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I've been fighting the court system it appears for now 7 strong months to get my ex-wife to pay child support that she hasn't paid in over 4 years. Each time we have it set for a hearing she files something to have it delayed or ask for a continuance, she asked for discovery which we complied, she filed a friviolus motion for contempt which was BS to say the least (it got thrown out of court).

Does anyone have any suggestions to at least get a temporary hearing? My atty has stated that we have to wait, but why do we have to wait on something she should be paying? My atty has advised me that if we get a temporary hearing, he thinks her atty will come forward and say, wait why do we need to pay child support we are now contesting custody.

this is what i have~
8 yrs of custody (Dad)
4 yrs of no child support
our child is a A&B student
our child excells in sports, art, music, reading
our child has great health
nice home in a upscale neighborhood.

why does it take 7 months I spend over $8000 so far on atty fees and haven't even had a temporary hearing to get her to pay child support???

Soc.

we have previously talked on here and I'm thinking about having my atty file a amended motion not only to get my ex to pay child support but also to go for full custody instead of joint that we currently have. My ex hasn't paid CS in over 4 yrs, she doesn't pay for any medical, clothing, school supplies absolutely nothing, she might call once a week at the most. Yet she thinks she should have custody back after 8 yrs.  my 1st ex wife and my 2nd are continuously harassing me. making despairing comments to my 10 yr old while she is visiting her mother. In the presence of my child whose 10 yrs old straight A student who can read very well on 6th grade level (she's in 4th right now), they email each other back and fourth and show the emails to her, talk negative about me on the phone etc in the presence of my child. The two ex's are placing my child from my 1st marriage into a bad situation by placing her in the middle.

1.  What do I have to prove to get full custody rather than joint which we currently have (I had custody for 8 strong years)

2  Can I get go after my two ex's for liable and slander (while I was married to my 2nd wife she never spoke to my 1st it only happened after she left) for making despairing comments about me to my child? I know it would be hard to prove but I have emails to confirm some.

3. can I get my ex's parental rights revoked?

 

I have a recent court order whereby the judge ruled in my favor that I didn't have to produce certain documents such as my checking account statements thru discovery, mainly because I'm the custodial parent.

That being said my ex's atty has ignored the court order and ruling and has sent subpoena's to my banks to try to get this information. What can I do to this atty for breaching and violating a court order? how will this affect my ex's case in her attempt to try to regain custody that I've had for 9+ yrs? How will the court see her's atty failure to comply with the order and leave it alone?

posters

as many of you know my story. I've had custody of my child for 9 yrs and she's 10 ½ yrs old. my 1st ex and I divorced when she was 1 ½. I obtained custody and the mother basically just signed her over to me. I got remarried and it didn't last and my 2nd wife and I were divorced last August 2006. A year ago I filed a petition to try to get my daughters mother to pay child support and she turned it into a HOT custody battle. My 1st ex and 2nd ex never liked eachother while we were married. Now they are best friends.

My 2nd ex and I never had any domestic violence or anything never had any police over. We never hit one another we just didn't get along. Here's my problem now. My 2nd ex wife is teaming with my 1st and I've heard thru the grapevine that they are going to CLAIM domestic violence and that I've hit her. In fact my 2nd ex wife is getting a friend of her's involved saying I did. However, I have many and many of neighbors, mutual friends etc that can testify that I never did hit her nor did there appear that there was any sort of violence.  No police reports, no medical reports, no pictures of anything because it never happened. Does anyone on the board see this as a huge problem before the judge?
Doesn't she have to have evidence that something like this happened?

Thanks
John

ex is asking the court for an attorney ad litem. has anyone on this board ever used one? If so what are their roles and purpose? is there any advantage to one parent or the other having one?

My child recently left for her mothers for the thanksgiving break. My child spoke to her mother eariler in the week expressing the desire to leave closer to thanksgiving so she could spend some time at home. My child called her mother a 2nd time the day she was suppose to leave and again expressed her feelings. When my child arrived at her mothers apparently her mother grilled her and talk to her about her feelings.

I rec'd a email from my ex claiming i told my daughter to tell her mother "I don't want to come can i come later during the week". In my ex's email she claimed i put my child up to it and if she didn't say this to her mother I would be mad at her and now she's claiming emotional abuse.

I never told our child anything other than to talk to her mother about it to see if she would be agreeable to let her come later in the week. However, i alway encourage a relationship between the two and have never denied any sort of phone contact or visitation.

What do i do that now i think she is coming at me with emotonal abuse?
is this a he said she said sorta of thing that the court could careless about?

I have many of expert witnesses that say now manipulative and lying my ex is. So she is distorting the whole situation to her benefit.

my daughter just came home with her 2nd report card for the year. The 1st report card she made 3 high B's and one A. The current report card she made 3 high B's and a C. Last year she made all A's and B's and only 1 C for the entire year on her report card.

My concern is can my ex wife use against me in court my child making a C on her report card. My daughter is trying her best but I'm not sure how the courts would see a C and if they will try to use that against me in the horrific custody battle she is waging after being a non custodial parent for 8+ years.

my atty advised me that i have to collect all past credit card stmts dating back for the last 8 yrs. Does anyone have any idea on WHY? I shread those monthly and don't have them. What happens if i can't provide them?

Yesterday the judge ordered my ex and i to go to mediation. As you know i've had custody for over 8+ yrs. My reason for going to court was to ask for child support. The ex is contesting child support thinking a woman shouldn't pay. So she filed a motion to try to make this into a custody case. in mediation what are the advantages and disadvantages? I'm sure she will come into mediation asking for custody but i'm not moving an inch when it comes to that.

has anyone ever attended mediation? if so does the mediator review the case and basically picks a side and tries to get the other side to settle?

Thanks
John

I recently had my psy eval done this past week and i found out some of my scores. On the IQ portion i scored high and very high meaning i have the knowledge to raise my child as a single parent thru her schooling.

one on portion of the test i scored extremely high as a prefectionist and extremely high as virture (meaning i have very high morals & very high standards etc).

will the fact i scored high as being a prefectionist and having high morals ets harm me with the custody situation i've had for 8+ years? the reason i ask is because it was above the normal standards.

I have a hearing coming up in court trying to get child support from my ex wife. I was told by my atty's legal assitant that my ex is going to use the fact that i'm a dad rasing a girl and that my daughter is a "tom boy". My daughter likes to play soccer, basketball and softball. She isn't in dance or anything like that. Can something like this be used against me in an attempt for my ex to try to regain custody after i've raised my child for 8 years?

has anyone undergone a psychological eval? if so can you give me a back ground on the proceedures and what takes place during the eval?

what are they looking for in the eval???

Both my ex and I are ordered to do the evaluation. This is only a result of me asking for child support and in turn she's trying to make it into a custody battle now.

Thanks
JJ

Please give me your opinion

My daughter is visiting her mother for the summer. Each and every time I call my child my ex wife husband harasses me on the phone about the pending legal issues of non payment of child support and other issues.

I can't call my child to have a decent conservation and when I do call I'm in fear of being harassed by her husband. My child comes home in a few weeks but in the mean time is there anything I can do to stop him from harassing me about the pending legal situation that's before the courts?

I'm to the point where I don't want to call my child because of the harassment. should I not call because of the problems and wait until she returns in a few weeks or what?

my ex emailed me stating he wasn't harassing me if he was asking legitimate questions. It's not just a question it's the way he approaches it and ask and in fact making negative comments etc. not only that it made my daughter who's 10 begin to cry because of what she observed.

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Posters

it's been 7 months since I started my fight in court for my daughters well being. To do the following: 1 get a child support order in place so her mother has to pay child support. 2. and to have the visitation changed to standard visitation so my child can spend ½ the summer at home as well as share in the holidays with both parents.

I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to get upset. Christmas came and gone without us having this heard in court. spring break now summer is here in 2 weeks. My ex can have crap put on the courts calander for a motion for contempt. which she failed, she filed a motion to compel discovery, we opposed and she failed because it was too broad.  Both the judge ruled in my favor.

Yet I'm the one who filed the motion for child support as well as to modify the visitation to standard and I haven't had not one hearing to date in court based on the merits of the case.

I recently found out that my ex's new husband (they been married for 4 yrs) hits and verbally abuses my ex wife. My daughter who's 10 told me this and was crying so I have reason not to believe her. Not only that he was involved in a lawsuit for adult abuse and stalking another male neighbor. However, the suit was dismissed.

My 2nd ex wife has made toilet paper with my picture on it and has sent a roll to my 1st ex (my daughters mother) per my daughter. There has also been comments made by her mother, ½ sister and my ex's husband about me and the motion for contempt. stating your dad is going to jail for a long long time. However the contempt was thrown out because it was false and had no merit.  There is more verbal and mental abuse that's going on but i don't have time to list it all.

I have a psychotherapist and a LMSW-counselor who both have stated that my daughter doesn't need to visit her mother because of the things going on and the mental, psychological and emtionally abuse.

does anyone think I can get a emergency hearing set based on what I have notated above? and what the court might rule?

Dear Posters,
Yesterday I spoke with my atty regarding my case and he advised me of the following.

As most of you know i'm a single dad raising my daughter i've had custody of for 8 yrs and she's almost 10.

My atty advised me that my ex's stragedy in my case to try to regain custody is she's going to claim i don't have enough time for my child. She claims that my work hours are not good for our child.

I work 7:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. I take my child to before school care and after school from 4 p.m. to around 5:15 my mother (My daughters grandmother) comes to my home to be with my daughter until i arrive which is around 5:15.

My child has also missed 4 days of school this year and missed 3 last year and 3 the year before. So according to my atty she might try to use this as well.

my atty said that this isn't enough to overturn any custody issues, but since you as posters have been thru it on "our" side and not the atty side do any of you see this as a problem with loosing custody?

Dear Posters.

As many of you have read I'm a happy single dad raising my daughter who's 10. I've had custody of 8 yrs and her mother hasn't paid child support in 4 years and lives 800 miles apart. I filed a motion to order her to pay etc. She believes she shouldn't becuase it's embarassing to her to turn in any order to her employeer. In retaliation of my motion she filed a motion for contempt against me which failed and the court said I was following the court order and obeying it as agreed. She then was asking for discovery, asking for all checking acct stmts dating back 8 yrs, every check, deposit, withdraw slips, every phone record, credit report, every credit card stmt, I can go on and on. My atty objected to the discovery request and the associate judge ordered us to produce when she filed a motion to compel.  We then filed an appeal with the district judge and the district judge made a ruling last week that I didn't have to supply any of the documents that doesn't pertain to my child. which are all the above i have listed plus more as it's ridiculous

Our next step is to get a hearing re-set on child support. I've spent 7 months and thousands of $$$ treading this water and not having the real issue heard before the court but all her stall tatics are failing and I trust that soon hopefully the month of May we will have a hearing on the merits of the case (child support) and we can get this resolved.

I can't understand why society believes that ONLY men should pay child support and not the mothers as well. It's the responsibility of BOTH parents to financially support the children.

She has also again recently stated she will fight for custody. However, I don't see any problems except for the financial strain it will cost to defend. But hopefully the court system will snuff this issue out fast.

Posters,
as many of you know my ex wife filed a motion to enforce against me for frivilous issues. she claimed i didn't have $$ set aside in a college savings acct for my daughter and i didn't take her to counseling as we agreed in the court order. Both of which are wrong and unfounded.
I do have a college acct for my child that has $13,000 and i did take my child to 4 counselors that said she is perfectly normal and didn't have any issues.

I'm the CP raising my daughter. Yesterday her atty and my atty met and her atty recommended to my ex wife to have her motion dismissed. Because they don't have anything  substantial to take me to court over so as it stands right now they will have it dismissed.

NOW i wonder if my issues of 4 years of child support will soon be heard in court now that this smoke has cleared.

Dear Posters,

as you know from my previous postings I'm the CP for 8 years strong now, our child is almost 10. I've petitioned the court to order my ex-wife to pay child support which I haven't rec'd in 4 yrs and to move to standard visitation. She's now starting to play hard ball. She's filed a motion to enforce against me for false aligations. The prior order that was entered with the court said that I was suppose to take our child to counseling and should continue to send our child to counseling but may lessen with the recommendation of the counselors.

1. I took our child for the last 3 yrs to counseling since the prior order was entered into and each counselor has wrote a letter stating our child has completed the course and doesn't have any emotional or behavioral problems. thus after the 3rd counselor I stopped taking our child to counseling and the ex is trying to get me in contempt on this issue. However why does she need to go if each one says she's ok? each counselor has stated she doesn't have any problems.  she says I'm not taking care of our childs emotional health by not taking her. which is wrong and not true. How will this play a role since she might fight for custody.

2. we both agreed to put a certain amount of $$ way per year into a college savings account, I have mine in a regular account with my childs name and she has her's in a college investment account 529. she says I have the $ in the wrong place and is trying to say I'm in contempt for not having it in a 529 account instead of a regular savings account, the $ is there but not where she wants it. total of $3,000

is this a stall on her behalf to prevent the child support from being heard?

she put in her motion she wants me to be placed in prison for 18 years based on the two above aligations.

Does anyone see any potential problems on my behalf, I have a enforcement hearing coming up on this issue soon, yet the child support issue that I filed for seems like it will never be heard by the courts.  

this is crazy.

4 years ago my ex and I agreed in a mediated settlement agreement that she would not be required to pay me child support based on her testimony in mediation that she would no longer be working after she gave birth to the baby she was carrying at that time (not my child). Four years have passed and she never quit working as soon as her 2nd child was born she went back to her employer and makes great money.

That being said can I go back on past child support that wasn't ordered because of the circumstances of her stating she wasn't going to be working any longer yet she has remained employed?
I have written letters and emails supporting this.

Since she is now contesting me in court by "trying" to stop child support and contesting custody. How will the court view her lies during mediation 4 yrs ago? will it hold any revelancy?

she is now contesting custody as a result of retaliation move to me asking for child support. How will the court view the fact she made numerous lies during mediation which resulted in the mediated settlement agreement being agreed too? will this hurt her case of trying to get custody I've had for almost 10 yrs?

Do you know if a person was to file bankruptcy yet they are current on their house pmts etc. would that affect child custody in a custody suit? The purpose of filing bankruptcy would to get rid of credit card debt and to give my child a better life, since i'm not getting child support.

I'm concern as to the court would look at a parent who filed bky versus a parent who hasn't filed bankruptcy.

I was served with a counter petition from my ex stating the following:
"The order to be modified is based on a prior order. Counter-Petitioner DOES NOT beleive that there has been a substantial and material change in circumstances since the entry of the last order. However, if the court finds that there has been a change. Counter Peittioner request that she be named the primary custodian of the child."


As you know i filed a motion because my ex isn't paying child support becuase there isn't a order to pay. So i think she should pay. I'm also asking that i be given time during the holidays. I get -0- time during the holidays. I haven't had my child for Christmas, thanksgiving or Summer break for 4 yrs. I've had custody for 8.

Do you my friends on this board think I should back away and have my case dismissed? She's not really contesting cusotdy but if the court orders her to pay child support, standard visitation etc she will fight for custody. what is your opinion?

I've had legal custody of my daughter for 7 ½ years. She is almost 10. Her mother left us when she was 2 and moved to another state. Three years ago I got remarried and recently have had a divorce from my 2nd wife. My 2nd wife really didn't accept my daughter as her own and it caused problems within our marriage as a result. So now my daughter and I are back to just ourselves. My daughters mother hasn't paid me child support in almost 4 years and we have a very unusual visitation order where I don't see my child at the holidays and she has her during the whole summer. I have recently petitioned the court to order my ex-wife to pay me child support and to move to standard visitation. I have kept my daughter in the same home, same school, church and sport teams within our community, not to mention I've been very stable with my employment and make sufficient money.

 

my ex has recently threatened me that she is going to make this go all the way if i file a motion to modify visitation/order her to pay child support. if she was to file a motion for custody would she get any where? I've had custody for 7 ½ yrs, no criminal record, not even a speeding ticket, my child is excelling in school, has lots of friends and I've served on community action boards within the community dealing with children. do I have anything to worry about?

we live on the east coast and her mother lives two states away and seeing our child once a month and all holidays, my reason for filing the motion is so our child can have sometime with my family during the holidays and summer. Not to mention her mother doesn't supply any of her needs such as clothing, school supplies or any financial support. So that was my reasoning for asking for child support

I again won custody of my daughter. her mother walked away when she was two and now she's 11, the court found i was the better parent and naturally the one who has raised my child. it was a battle that lasted 21 months and i spent close to $80,000 in the end i won. i want to say to all the dads stay involved in your kids lives, no matter if you have custody or not. The children of today's society needs us to be involved. Fight for your rights, your time and whatever it takes to do right.

Most of you who has followed my case here's the update/background.

I've had custody of my daughter for 11 years. I petitioned the court 21 months ago to get child support and modify the jacked up visitation schedule.

My childs mother counter sued me for custody as a result and we have went thru 2 mediations, many court hearings, many motions filed in bad faith by the other side. Spent close to $100,000 to keep custody because of attorney fees etc. I can go on and on. However we had a court ordered social study completed by a court appointed social worker and a court appointed ad litem investigating and making a recommendation to the court. The recommendation from both came back in my favor to retain the custody of my child. They caught my ex lying and doing things that we not morally right. I have a final hearing coming up soon. What's the chances the judge may go against the recommendation of the experts?

I'd like your opinion of a few things the ad litem that represents my daughter has told me and what you think she means by her comments.
As most of you know I've had custody of my daughter for almost 9 years since she was 2. I filed a motion to modify visitation and attempt to get child support that I haven't rec'd in 4 years+. And remember when my child was 2 her mother moved 600 miles away giving me custody.

the ad litem has told me over the phone that
1. the current arrangement we have is working very well.
2. she said both her mother and I are good parents.
3. if her mother had custody it would also work (this comment scares me). However, she said it didn't matter who had custody of our child my ex and I would still argue.
4. she said that she would prefer that we both live in the same area. I advised her that since all our family lives here that I didn't want to move and she agreed.
5. she said that my ex was to ridged
6. she said that my child is doing great in school, has numerous friends.

The ad litem told my attorney that when she did the home visits to both homes our child felt more free sprited, happier and confrontable at my home rather than my ex wife's home.

what's your thoughts on this? we are going back to mediation in May and a final hearing is set for August. Does it sound like the ad litem is favoring me?

I have a very hard time seeing them removing our child from my home. I'm the only parent that has been there for our daughter throughout her whole life and the affect it would have on her emotionally would be bad.

as most of you know i have custody of my daughter whom i've had for 9 years. I got remarried and my 2nd ex wife filed for divorce and left.  my 2nd ex wife and my 1st are teaming against me in an attempt to try to destory me.

I filed a motion against my 1st ex wife 16 months ago because she hasn't paid child support in 4 years, then she has now turned this into a custody fight. my 2nd ex wife and 1st are claiming i have anger issues. i never hit my 1st or 2nd ex wife. did we ever get into any disagreements? yes. but they claim i have anger issues.

how does this play into a custody fight them claiming i have anger issues? what do i have to do to win to keep my child that i've had for 9 years, she almost 11 now. do they have to have evidence? please advise if you have had to fight anything like this that wasn't true.