Lawmoe I need some advise Please

[T0052SC]

I have been trying to keep my kids safe from my STBX neglectful ways but I now don't know what else to do.  I have proof of the neglect to the kids and even on the most recent the police came and gave her a sumins.

I have contacted child services and my investigator has contacted child services but they don't seem to be not that interested.  Child services said to me that they just need to educate the STBX, but I have proof of a patern and even in the past intervention it never changed.  My attorney says I need to be more demanding of child services but this is the second report made this year on the STBX and the first one the worker tried to get me to give up my right and marked up her report saying that I was just vandictive when I wasn't the one who even made the complaint.

What do I do my kids are in danger and I feel as if my hands are tied by the system.

[Lawmoe]

The answer depends on what you are trying to accomplish.  If you are concerned about the other parents care, reports to child protection are appropriate. However, even if they involve themselves, that system is designed to reunite the minor child with the original parent that had custody.

Whether they act or not, does not preclude you from bringing a Motion in Family Court seeking a change of custody. The focus of that system is to enter orders that, generally speaking, are in the best interests of the children.  As a result, uif you can clearly demonstrate the neglect and, against the backdrop of all circumstances, can show that a change of custody is in their best interests, that is how you should proceed.

 

[T0052SC]

I want to protect my kids but I am getting frustrated.  My attorney started all fired up with talk of an expar-tai and now he is acting more relaxed like we should just wait to the final custody trial.  My problem is that the STBX is constantly putting the kids in danger and I don't want the court to look at me and think since I waited to the final hearing that I am just gathering this evidence to make the STBX look bad instead of what is in the kids best interest.

If I proceed to go back to court now before the final custody hearing how do I go about showing a change is in their best interest.  My attorney flip flopps all the time from full of fire to well I don't know.

[Lawmoe]

It is spelled Ex Parte.  It essentially means without the other party. in other words, it is a Motion heard that is one sided. Those are available when there is an emergency.

It is difficult to advise you for several reasons.  First, different Judges treat such issues differentl. If you lawyer has experience with the Judges, you must trust your lawyer.  Second, you do not indicate how far off your final trial may be.  That is a critial element.

I would suggest seeking a free consultation and a second opinion fro a lawyer in your area. However, be wary of a sales pitch. Try to find repudable lawyers with at least 10 years of experience and an established practice.

[T0052SC]

I don't have a date yet for the final trial.  I have a date for the pre trial hearing of December 9th.  How far out do courts schedule a final trial usually after the pre trial?

The problem I am having with my attorney is one minute he is fired up full of gusto to go balls to the wall.  The next minute he will sound like all we should do is settle (flip flop).  I have a real problem with a settlement.  I read all over the web sight that this final trial is the only real time I have to show the court whats in the best interest of the kids and after that it will take a significant change in life to change the final order.

His settlement is to basicly keep it how it is but my biggest problem is the neglect to my kids and the STBX having control over education.  My attorney feels that I have good evidence but is sceptical that the court will award me Primary physical with joint legal because the GAL during the investigation was apointed as a marital master in the same district that our trial will be held in.  The GAL recommended the same custody is what is in place now 60/40.

The GAL never viewed any of my evidence that I supplied to him and myself and my attorney feels that he just didn't want to rock the boat, so the GAL went with the path of least resistance and not recommend either parent with primary physical.

What is your view on the above?

[Bolivar]

T0052SC you said, "The problem I am having with my attorney is one minute he is fired up full of gusto to go balls to the wall. The next minute he will sound like all we should do is settle."

Your attorney is selling you.  Which is ok, it will keep you calm.  You are in the mist of battle and you are high strung, which is normal.  Even lawyers who do this work for a living usually hire another attorney to do there divorce because is so easy to get emotional off track.

Set up some appointments with other lawyers in the area.  Bring bullet points of what has happen so far, and questions to ask.  DO NOT VENT, remain professional as possible.  Do NOT bash your current lawyer, you will come across as a whiner.  Listen and take notes, Only TALK if:
1. You are asking a question.
2. You are answering a question.
3. Let the interviewing attorney do all the talking.

The answers to your question will help you to determine if you lawyer is fighting for you.  

The major problem I have found with attorneys is work overload.  In divorce work one must have a number of cases going on to make a good living.  If the attorney is working on too may cases he/she will have less time to spend on yours.

I always ask the question like "how busy are you".  Then I ask the same question a different way latter on.  They ALWAYS say they have time for your case.  At least you can get a feel for what is going on.

This site has some good info on hiring a lawyer, check it out.

Good luck, and please keep us posted. :-)

[MYSONSDAD]

If your children are school age, would the teachers or councelors have noticed something? Could be Child services need a call from someone other then the other parent. Anything from doctors or hospitals?

What about a PI?
 
"Children learn what they live"

[T0052SC]

I have a PI and she has gathered video of neglect and endangerment, she has also made a report to CPS but I get the feeling that CPS just doesn't want to get invovled because their reply to me was you are bringing up what ifs.  The STBX leaves the children unattended all the time in the car while shopping and at the STBX house.  When I brought up the dangers of this the CPS worker said these are all just what ifs and nothing that has happened so they don't feel there is a problem.  CPS gave me the feeling that they just want to wait to see if something does happen and then if it does possibly step in.

[MYSONSDAD]

You might want to see if the PI would be willing to report this to the Police. With their vast knowledge of uncover work, they must have some idea on how to proceed. Or at the very least, have the PI follow her and when she goes into the store, make an annonimous call of children left in the car and have the police come and investigate.

Keep track of all communications with CPS. They are not following thru and it could bite them in the butt.

[T0052SC]

My PI and I did this.  Tuesday we went to the police and confronted them with this.  The officer parked across the street and waited for us to flash our lights when the STBX went into the store without the kids.  He then pulled up and waved the STBX out of the store and arrested her.  He let her leave with the kids and a sumins.  When CPS called the officer he changed his story around now which has made me suspicious.  The officer now claims there was nothing unsafe about what the STBX has done.  The STBX is now dating a part time patrolman who is almost twice the STBX age and has rented from an officer that is friends with the part time patrolman boy friend.  I think they are all pulling favors for each other because I am supose to be a real basturd.

I just don't know what else I can do to protect my kids and how this will affect the final trial.