Father wins custody

[daddymccoy21]

It took me almost 3 years, but I finally won custody of my daughter. I am posting this to encourage any dads out there who are hestitant to try, or have tried and failed.

It makes me sick how the Family Court System is totally biased! I had to fight and fight and fight. I even had to pay for my ex's attorney's fees. At one point a had a lawyer, but he just sucked my money dry.

I owe alot of my success to an ebook I found. It was called "FAMILY LAW SECRETS REVEALED - FATHERS EDITION" (http://www.familylawsecrets.com) I also want to thank the SPARC archives! I found this site a few months ago and it helped answer a ton of my questions.

Good luck to all you fathers out there! You can get custody, I promise!

[MYSONSDAD]

Congrats on your child's win. There are several Fathers here that have gone pro se. Many fathers can't afford the $29 to buy this book.

Share some of the strategies....
 
"Children learn what they live"

[JW]

Just what I wanted to hear, kind of. I am starting a custody battle today - I paid my retainer this morning. I had piles of documentation, so hopefully it won't take 3 years. My daughter WANTS to be with me and calls my fiancee "mommy," so that tells you something. Again, congrats and keep us posted. How did you finally achieve this goal? what was the turning point? What was your most powerful "weapon?" TELL US MORE.

[daddymccoy21]

Well, the fact that your kid calls your soon to be wife mom is a good start. If I were you, Id get your money back from that lawyer RIGHT NOW! Seriously, I wasted thousands on lawyers - and they actually made it harder for me to win.

One thing I noticed was that lawyers speak for you to the judge. MOST judges are good people, and if you speak for yourself will actually listen to you.

The main thing I did to get custody was to request a psychological evaluation. It was expensive ($4,500) and I had to pay for it all! But after hours and hours of test and interviews, the evaluator (who I had the judge pick) recommended to the courts that I have custody.

If you go this route, you really need to make sure that you are a good parent, and that your kids do love you and want to be with you. Once I got the favorable evaluation, there was no looking back for the courts. The other side can ask for a trial to argue the eval, but judges accept the reccommendation 99% of the time.

Again, you dont have to waste your money on your lawyer.  You can do it yourself. There are plenty of resources out there (like this site) to help you.

[JW]

Thanks for the suggestion, but I live two states away and this would be difficult. Also, don't both parents have to agree? Mine won't - I can guarantee that. She knows my daughter wants to be with me and keeps stating that nothing will change because "it's in the papers." I never knew she was so silly as to think that papers can't be changed. She really believes this. I have tried negotiating and talking with her, but with no luck. She can't afford a lawyer, which may help. She got evicted about 3 weeks ago and she and my daughter are living with friends. I have contacted child services to make a "surprise" visit after school as I have discovered that my 9 year old is babysitting a 5 year old daily from 3:00 - 5:30. This should get the ball rolling. Any other advice?

[daddymccoy21]

If you think that the kids are in danger or should be removed immediately from her care, you can file for an ex parte (emergency hearding).  You see a judge in 24 hours and if that judge thinks that the kids need to be moved he can make interim orders right then and there.

But, If you KNOW that your kids want to be with you, ask for a 730 evaluation. It will show everything, and like one judge said to me, "Are you sure you want to do this? You are showing all your cards, and you had better be able to back it up."

I learned all of this from that ebook I mentioned. Its really helpfull. I cant post the whole book in here (id probably get busted somehow), but you should check it out. http://www.familylawsecrets.com - Even though you hired a lawyer, you can know what you can do, rather than relying on him all the time.

[JW]

What state are you in? I will be in Alabama. Is a 730 evaluation a standard in all states? I think my attorney is already filing the ex parte hearing. Thanks again for your help.

[cowboy crazy]

My husband is in the middle of a custody battle for his children, the oldest is very adament about living with us, the youngest wants to live in both places and is happy with each parent.  Both of the children call me mom and I have very good relationships with both of them.  We are doing the psychological evaluations too - the ex started hers this week, we start ours next week and they go thru the beginning of December.
What should we expect during these evaluations, what do we say, ANY help would be great!!!  

[JW]

Was this court ordered, or did the ex volunteer? I hate to take years to get this done. Any help is appreciated. And we live in different states, so it would be different evaluators. I don't think that would be fair, either. I'm like you. ANY help would be great. I'm glad to see there are others that realize dads can be, and often are, better parents than moms.

[daddymccoy21]

My eval was my request. I had to pay for it all...but that just showed the courts how much I really did care. REMEMBER that the courts want what is "BEST FOR THE CHILD"...the parent that shows them that this usually is the best thing for the kid.

There is an old story about a man who went to court and said, "My child cant take this anymore. The back and forth is killing him. We cant cut him up into two pieces, but that is what we are trying to do. I am willing to give up the battle just so that he can be happy."

The courts gave that dad custody,  basically because of what he said.

Im not saying you should do this, but show them that no matter what the cost, no matter how long it takes, you want what is BEST for that kid.