looking to relocate

[Innocentprncss]

I am trying to find out how it works if I am looking to relocate to another state.  It is an adjacent state.  My daughter stays with most the time.  We do not have joint physical but do have joint legal.  I have very good reasons for wanting to move ie continuing college, upcoming remarriage, better home and financial situation.  What are my right and do I need an attorney to file the original petition to relocate?  I am just wondering if there is anything that I can get started on before actually obtaining counsel.  Anything that I can learn would be helpful.  I reside in Wisconsin if that helps.  Thanks much.

[joni]

There's no problem with you relocating.....without your child.  The issue is moving the child away from the other parent which in my honest opinon, is a very selfish act.  When you're a parent, you give up certain rights, like the freedom to do whatever you want.  You must consider your child and the non custodial parents needs in this scenario.  

[Innocentprncss]

Well when my boyfriend and I decided we were getting married, I talked to my daughter's father about it right away.  I told him that there were mant good things to come of it and that I, in no way was looking to take my daughter away from him.  I said that I would drive her to him every other weekend, that he could have her on the holidays and a couple months during summer break.  He said "absolutely not, YOU'RE NOT GOING".  I said I am willing to do anything I can to make this easier and make it so you can see her as much as possible including phone calls email and letters orschool work sent by mail.  He still flat out refuses.

[wendl]

You can file your intent to relocate and a new parenting plan prior to moving, then go to court.

If you do not move to far keep the every other weekend, since you are the one that decided to move, it would be best if you were responsible for transportation. (just my opinion).

Yes he is going to say NO, he doesn't want to loose his child (normal no parent wants to loose their children).

Be as fair as possible.

[joni]

Walk in his shoes for a moment.  Would you find your words consoling?  I don't think so.

If you think it's such a great deal, give your Ex custody of your daughter and you can have the visitation that you're recommending for him.  

[Innocentprncss]

There is no way that it is the same for me and him.  He was no part of his daughter's life until she was 3 !/2 years old.  She has only known him a little over a year.  I pretty much raised her and when he found out he was going to have to pay child support he started wanting to see her.  When she was born, I called him and asked him for his information to put on her birth certificate and he wouldn't give it to me.  He told me that he wasn't going to be a part of her life because it would confuse her (was engaged at the time).  He has told me that he never really wanted to have kids.  There is no way that he should have her that much.  She also has a brother that she LOVES very much and would be heart broken not to be close to him most the time.

[Innocentprncss]

right now he has 3 weekends a month.  I offered every other weekend and to provide all transportation.  I offered holidays and summer vacation and he still won't budge.  I know for a fact that it makes him angry that I am moving on with my life and I think THAT has something to do with it.  He has told me that he still loves me and that he has pictures of me up on his desk and at home still. I think some of this is not wanting to give up on us and not wanting to relinquish control.  I also know that he has told me that he doesn't want "some other man being her daddy".  I have told him that I am not tryin to replace him in her eyes.  I just want to be able to have a better life for all of us and be happy.

[joni]

So punish the bastard for his mistakes for the rest of his life.  Remind him every day about every mistake that he's made regarding you and his daughter and torture him for it.  Make him pay.  Make him suffer.

I saw your post on Dear Soc.  Your new hubbie is going into the army.  What if he gets transferred to a base out of the country?  How are you going to make sure your daughter has a relationship with her bio father or will a few weeks for the summer be good enought to rationalize your guilt?  Oh I know, he can email his kid.  That's quality communication.

Or, truth be known, it really doesn't matter.  You're telling him what he wants to hear because you have a different agenda of moving, far, far away and eventually removing your daughter from his life.  It doesn't matter right?  She's got a new daddy now.  A brother.  She doesn't really need her bio father!

The purpose of this community is to promote BOTH parents in THEIR child's LIFE.  You have come to the wrong place for your advice.  The PARENTS (both noncustodial moms AND dads) are fighting in this community for every minute the get with their child.

You'd be better suited to go to the web site //www.singlemomz.com.  They'll tell you how to screw your Ex over and get what you want.  (You're probably a mole from that site anyway).

[Innocentprncss]

I don't know what your problem is, but I am not looking to move far far away.  My soon to be husband is guarenteed a place in the US because he had high test scores and will be getting a high tech job in the states.  I am looking for the best way to do what I want to and be able to make it so he can still have our daughter for visits too.  You need to get a damn grip and quit being so judgemental.  You have no idea what my situation is completly.  Though you think you know it all, YOU DON'T!!  I asked him to leave because of his controlling nature in NOV.  I don't want to make him pay but I am not going to reward him for his mistakes either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Innocentprncss]

OH AND BTW I KNOW MY DAUGHTER AND HER FATHER LOVE EACH OTHER SOOOOOO I HAVE NO AGENDA TO REMOVE HER FROM HER FATHER'S LIFE.  I offered everything that I could think of to make it ok with him.  I was willing to do trasportation, all holidays, summer vacations and drop child support.  I realize that by me moving I am making it harder for him so I want to do what I can to make it easier for him in whatever ways that I can.  YOU have NO RIGHT to judge, lest ye be judged yourself.  I came here for some advice not a B**** session by some chick scorned for whatever reason.  YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT IF ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IS CRITICIZE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAS GONE ON IN YOUR PAST.  Just because there are mother out there that do what you are accusing me of DOES NOT mean that I am that!!!!GET YOUR S*** STRAIGHT!!!