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forgiveness of back CS arrears without CP approval?

Started by beeboah, Oct 26, 2005, 05:34:12 AM

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Just don't expect that this would happen. If the shoe was on the other foot, I am sure you wouldn't think this was OK.

Why don't you do something a bit different? Why not tell the judge when you child is college aged that you will cover college costs in return for the arrears being wiped out?


You are sure? Sorry, but you don't know me.

Actually, I would forgive the arrears as I am not greedy like the CP.

In fact, I would not have let things get this far by lying to the court as the CP did.

I think that I will just take the CP to court for lying about the total amount of money received.

In fact, I will advise her that I have substantiation of her lies "her signature with a big 0 next to it".

That should persuade her to forgive the arrears.

As Ref has said, there is no need to tell the judge anything. Nothing can be done without the CP.

So why say anything at all, or even pay the money to file?


did not have Mr. Jola's better interest at hand or future.....

And cause NJ says so.....

Makes me PEWK! Just pewk cinB


But I know you posted that you didn't want it to go to court because you would pay more...so you are lying, too. (Yep, with holding info is lying by ommision).  You sound just as greedy to me as you say your ex is.

Another thing, do you really think your logic would hold water in court? Because if it could, this board wouldn't exist.


Things CAN be done without the cp. If you have the proof you claim you do, then asking for a review of the arrears MAY help to clear this up.

HOWEVER, if you did not write "for child support" on those checks you gave her...or you did not have her sign a receipt stating it was FOR child support and the checks were for an amount that DIFFERS from the cs amount, then you are SOL.

If payments are not sent thru the court, they cannot credit your account. And quite frankly, any money given directly to the CP is considered a "gift" unless it is documented that it is cs. My brother used to give his ex advances when she was broke and asked him for some money. He was smart, and he'd have her sign a receipt stating it was for cs. He'd send that to the court, and they'd deduct it from his account.

As far as the amount you were in arrears between the time you filed and the time the order was set...you will NOT get rid of those just because you claim ignorance. It's your responsibility as a father to make sure you are helping your ex support your child/ren. Just because an amount wasn't set yet is no reason to not pay. You should have paid SOMETHING. And if those payments you speak of (where she wrote the big ZERO next to her signature) were for that, and you have proof that you and her BOTH were aware that's what it was for, then an administrative review with the accountant on your case COULD clear things up.

But if you didn't CYA, then no...it won't work unless she agrees.

I think you are way too angry, bitter, and emotional to deal with this issue yourself. You aren't being reasonable. You are like MANY people I see who feel they were wronged and go on a rampage without using their head, but flying on emotion only. You'll get nowhere fast doing that. Take some time to settle down before you even begin to see if this can be fixed.
Love me without fear-Need me without demanding-Trust me without question-Want me without restrictions-Accept me without change. Find my soul and I'm yours 4ever


I posted that I choose not to go to court because I didn't want to pay the filing fee. That is a choice, not a lie via omission.

How is that a lie?

This is just a subjective matter of BIAS on your own behalf.

You twist words to make them meet that BIAS.

I want my arrears forgiven, and I am now confident that I have figured a way to get them back legally.

I am sure that my "evidence" would hold up in court as opposed to what you conveniently define as "logic".

Nice talking to you!


The payments of child support were paid directly to the ex and clearly state on the face of the check what they were for the purpose of child support.

I am not too bitter to deal with the issue myself. As a matter of fact, I was able to take a matter concerning visitation to court PRO SE and obtain visitation time with my child.

I am as capable as following law as the next guy.

However, just like anyone else, I think that some of them are unfair.

The ex is going to agree to this. I keep records of everything.


different when it comes to the ease of things going your way. Courts generally won't DENY visitation time, and try to allow the most parenting time possible in many cases. But they are tougher and more strict regarding cs.

It's not deserving of a medal to go pro se and win. People do it every day, and many more times than you have, I'm sure. In fact, some of the people giving you advice lately have done just that...yet you are being angry and discounting the advice you are being given. I've done it myself on COUNTLESS occassions. When I thought I "had it in the bag" and lost, it was a blow to me. It happens. You don't always win, just because you won once, and just because YOU think you SHOULD. It all depends on what side of the bed the judge got up on that morning, or what kind of a hair day she's having.

If you deal with your ex in the manner you deal with these posters, it's no wonder she won't agree. Try using a little honey instead of all that vinegar.
Love me without fear-Need me without demanding-Trust me without question-Want me without restrictions-Accept me without change. Find my soul and I'm yours 4ever


Wonder how often he sees this kid....