The storm...knew it was coming

[kitten]

>Now - so far on "mental torture" - - - maybe in some things
>she has done in the past, but in asking for a paper to be
>signed saying she cooperated in changing the visitation?  
>Doesn't go down as abuse, PAS, or anything else.  Other
>actions on her part may - but in my opinion, this doesn't.
>
>Mountain out of a molehill - - -and there seems to be plenty
>of mountains to deal with without creating additional ones.
 
It's not the paper that is the problem in regards to "mental torture" it's her bringing the kids into a situation which should have only been between and known about by the two parents.  SHE involved the children and upset them for the sole purpose of alienation.  I understand the note seems like no big deal, but at this point in the "battle" it could be.  It's just a huge mess and his attorney is doing a great job and we trust her.  We have to at this point.

[Peanutsdad]

Raisin,,


I have to disagree. The statement mom wanted signed indicated she was flexible with visitation. I MIGHT have signed it if it stated she was making this change THIS time. Nothing more.

Anything more could be construed as a distortion of the facts.

[cathy]

That reminds me, time to put another check in the mail to our laywer!

But just remember - things can be viewed, slanted and twisted in all kinds of way.   Consider it playing this way -

"Judge, I have just been harrassed and lied about so much by these 2 people.  I was more than willing to change visitation - *I* always try to cooperate and let him make up the time when something more important than spending time with his children comes up.  All *I* was trying to do was protect myself because I KNEW he would come in here and try to claim I wouldn't cooperate.  It is all lies your honor - he just wants to get back at me and I HAVE to protect myself. "

Consider you are in court, the judge doesn't know the parties and doesn't have the time to hear every detail of everything that happened.  He doesn't know who to believe, who is telling the truth and who is telling a lie.  And in this case, I'd have to say, it would amount to "points" for the mother's side.

(Isn't it sad that, when you are talking about kids and what is best for them, that the term "points" even comes up)

[kitten]

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it.  The trial is in Dec. and he has strict instructions from his attorney.  He's doing the best he can.  Like I said before, Signing a paper saying she changed visitation that one time is not a big deal.  She wanted the wording to be that she has been flexible thus showing his statement on Dr Phil to be untrue.  There are a lot of factors to consider before signing anything in this case.  
Thanks again.

[kitten]

She would do that.  We also have some proof of her past behavior so I guess we'll see what happens...

Very sad indeed.

[LAK]

that the new DH's children are grown?  I was left with the impression, from the show, that they were young and that's why he didn't want to leave.  Either way, it's not right that he won't leave his, but expects Will to let his go.

[Raisin_3]

I want advice that is going to be best for THE KIDS not MYSELF.  You want people to tell you that you are right and she is wrong and it isn't that black and white.  

[Raisin_3]

Not the mom who was willing to switch visitation.  The dad who states he wont sign w/out his atty's advise.

A huge aspect of these cases is looking at which parent is going to work with the other parent.  Neither of them are looking too good in that aspect.

[Peanutsdad]

I see,, so your position is that a parent should sign ANYTHING the cp wants?

[Kitty C.]

Well, don't you think the 'intentions' behind wanting something signed would be a factor as well?  She wanted that piece of paper to hang over his head, it was NOT asked for in good faith.  Nothing she has compromised on has been done in good faith on her part, when it comes to the kids.  It's ONLY about how much she can hurt Dad by using the kids as a weapon.

If she were acting in good faith, she would have OFFERED that weekend and never once mentioned signing anything.  It's because of HER unwillingness to work with the father, to be co-parents to their children, that she would do something as stupid as asking him to sign something... to 'prove her willingness'.  All that tells me is that she is unwilling to act in good faith, that if it ain't negotiated with some benefit to her and carved in stone to boot, she ain't buying it.  Otherwise, she plays people like puppets until she does get her way.

The blatant refusal on her part to even see that there's anything wrong with her removing the kids from everything they've ever known, including their father, and taking them 3000 away to a place totally foreign to anything they've ever experienced is all I need to prove to me that she could give a rat's ass about her own children or their relationship with either of their parents.  Because I CAN promise you this:  if she ends up getting her way, Dr. Phil's words will become prophecy........they will end up resenting and hating her for what she's done to them.  And her determination to destroy that father/child relationship is SO strong that there is NO way she could ever see that.......until it's too late and those kids' lives are ruined by her.